This is NOT a Fanfiction
by 67Sexy-Whales42
Summary: p.s. Don't let the title fool you. Mikuo is your average, ADD, narcissistic teenage boy that's just trying to survive the last few days of Junior year. He has friends, enemies kind of... not really , an annoying little sister, and maybe a love interest or two. ;o Language & lime warning.
1. Prologue

**YO! I changed my pen name, if you didn't notice... or if the site hasn't updated yet. /shot  
Anyway, my old name was 67-rosary-bead42, so you can rest easy knowing that I didn't steal my own story.  
**

**O look a new story. That's ironic. This one may not be updated so often (though compared to everything else that may not be the case XD). Just a story I decided to write on a whim because I love writing comedies and I haven't written a school humor yet. So, please, read, enjoy, REVIEW. Even though this is just a prologue… I'll try to update later today. Maybe ^^;**

…**~…**

_Prologue: May Days_

It's May… Oh my _gosh_ it's May. Everyone's favorite month of the year.

_Except mine_.

Everyone is always excited for the end of the school year or some crap like that. In just a couple of weeks we would be out of this hell hole; no more homework on Fridays, no more crazy teachers that you _swear_ eat children at the Wednesday afternoon faculty meetings, and, most of all, no more dealing with those morons and think two plus two equals six.

(*cough cough* notice that "everyone" does not pertain to "me" in this sense.)

_I_ , on the other hand, utterly despise May. May is the month where everyone slacks off, except the teachers. Really, you'd think they could take the hint or something. Everyone else is sleeping, Mr. Shion, I think you can, too. No we do NOT want another homework assignment, we want—oh screw this train of thought It's boring. Anyway, I'm getting side-tracked. May is the last month of school. You know what that means. Testing! (Yay! Sarcasm!) Yes, all of this studying to do on top of the two mounds of homework your AP US History teacher decided to load you down with and absolutely _no_ time to do fun things like oh, I don't know, sleep or watch anime. (Not that I'm in to that kind of stuff or anything. Pfff…)

Oh, yeah. I should probably introduce myself. I'm the straight A student that sleeps in class, the guy that had a principal role in the musical last month (shut up, male actors are sexy), the one that skips art to go to Sonic WITH the art teacher, the dude with the crazy mom that everybody loves, the brother of the really annoying thirteen-year-old named Princess Buttfacebooblesssassypants the First, and the asshole that always wins at Mario Kart. I held that beer in my hand and told that teachin' lady I only needed three letters in the alphabet and those was U, S, and A. I live in Ala-fucking-bama where the motto is "Hey, at least we're not Mississippi." (Hey, don't be hatin'. Rocket City has the highest number of Ph. D.'s per capita in the country) I go to Yamaha High school—because it's _so_ original. It's about 20 degrees in the winter and 200 degrees in the summer, and ten miles in any direction outside the city is a redneck cult.

So that's the embodiment of my life in a nutshell. Oh yeah, and I love to write. Making fun of things in word form happens to be a passion of mine. Just thought I'd let you know.

My name is Mikuo Hatsune, I am seventeen years old, and this is NOT a fanfiction.


	2. Vegetarian Atheists

**Language Warning! Just… don't be surprised. x3 Oh yeah. And I don't own Vocaloid.**

TiNaF

Chapter 1: Vegetarian Atheists

Come on, bell. Ring. You can do it. Twenty more seconds and we can each lunch. But really, it's okay to go early. Hurry, before he gives us an—

"Class your assignment tonight is to do all the vocabulary for chapters 14 and 15." _Brriiinnggg._ "Have a nice lunch!"

Assignment. I sighed, picked up my empty backpack, and lumbered out of room 216. Only halfway through the day and I had things to do in every class. I decided, in my foul mood, to be an inconsiderate jerkface and walk slowly through the congested hallways because, hey, I was five foot ten and had green hair. I could do whatever the hell I wanted.

I felt someone flick the side of my head and turned around to see my bfffffl, Luki. (Don't ask what all the f's stand for. I'm still deciding.) "Learn how to walk, asshole," he insulted.

"Hey there, douchebag, it's nice to see you, too," I replied coolly. "I'm going to Sonic with Mr. K, wanna come?" I asked.

"Sure. You better not get us caught this time, though."

"Hey. It's not my fault the principal _happened_ to take his lunch break there. It was one time!" I retorted.

"Yeah, whatever. Walk faster, I'm hungry."

We walked a little further down the hall and I dropped my useless excuse for a backpack off in a trash can before heading down the hall toward room 123.

Gakupo Kamui, or, as we like to call him, Mr. K: fresh out of college and the youngest teacher at our school at the microscopic age of twenty-four. It was completely and utterly illegal for him to be encouraging our behavior, of course, but no one honestly cared.

"Mr. K.!" I announced as I came into the room. It looked like a rainbow had thrown up all over the tables, which meant the painting class just left.

"Mr. K., we're going to Sonic. Wanna ride in the back of Mikuo's truck with me?" Luki asked nonchalantly.

Kamui was crouched under a table somewhere, apparently, picking up crap that the previous class had left about. So messy. As exhibited by my backpack, at least I threw my trash out. Mr. K. popped up upon hearing Luki's voice, because I'm obviously not important enough to respond to.

"Oh, hey Luki, Mikuo. Yeah, sure I'll go. Just let me put this stuff somewhere," he said holding an armful of art supplies. He ended up just dumping it all in a corner somewhere, claiming it was "organized chaos."

So we start heading to my car ** and luckily no police officers or other teachers stop us and everyone loads up in the back. Sonic was just down the road from here, but it was still too far to walk. I started my shit-car and pulled out of the parking lot unnoticed, which was strange because I literally had two dudes with purple and pink hair sitting in the bed of my trunk. This world was blind…

We made it to Sonic (surprise, surprise) and I realized I wasn't hungry so I just bought food for Luki because the dumbass left his wallet "in his other pants."

"Okay, what do you want, Luki?"

"Hell if I know. Surprise me." Which meant he wanted a bucket of french fries. Did I mention he's a vegetarian? I try to make fun of that as often as I can.

"One ton of fried potatoes, it is," I sighed.

"You're gonna get fat from all this greasy junk food, Luki," Mr. K. commented. He knew about the whole vegetarian thing, too. Everyone did. It's just one of those things that people hear from unknown places and don't usually admit to knowing.

"He lives in America, it's okay if he gets fat. You know, I hear they're thinking about legalizing prostitution over here. Then he won't even have to worry about his girlish figure," I claimed. (Totally not true, btw.)

"Or he could move to Australia. It's legal over there."

"Will youi guys stop pretending I'm not here and order me some freaking food? I'm starving over here," Luki griped.

"You know, I hear the food is healthier over there, "I continued, completely ignoring him. "If we ship him over now, maybe we can prevent his impending obesity."

"I'm skinnier than you, moron. Oh your God." Did I mention Luki's atheist? Well it's not really that, more that he doesn't like God because he made animals for eating, which is apparently a sin for animals to die. (I guess he's agnostic, technically, but nobody knows what that is.) Luki is so weird. "So do you guys want to argue about how freakishly obese I am or do you want to eat?"

Needless to say, we chose the former of the two.

…~…

"Y'all want to go down to Wal-Mart or something?"I asked after we finally got to eat something (And do I do NOT have a bad accent. "Y'all" is simply a word that happened to be infused into my vocabulary at a young age and it's just infuriating to waste time with _all_ of the syllables involved in "you all.")

"Yeah, let me see if I can get a substitute. Hold on." Mr. K. pulled out his cell phone and paced away.

Luki and I looked at each other. "I hope that when he gets fired, it's not until after we graduate," he mused.

"Got a sub! Let's go."

So to make a long, convoluted story short, I was speeding down the road for _one_ mile and a cop pulled me over. This guy, the police officer, looked like he had been chewing tobacco since he was six years old and never heard of the word "sunscreen" i.e. he was the biggest redneck I'd ever seen. He spoke in a RIDICULOUS Mississippi accent and, if you ask me, he hadn't seen mouthwash before, much less used it.

"Son," he called me _son_. Lol. "What do you think yer doin' out here speeding when you and yer little buddies oughtta be 'n skool." Yes. His accent was _so_ bad he spelled school wrong in his speech. At least he didn't recognize Mr. K. as a teacher.

"Well, I _think_ I was going to Wal-Mart, sir," I replied. Luki and Kamui snickered in the back.

The officer shifted his weight back and looked down at me with a sinister smile. "Do you think yer funny, son?"

"Actually, I think I'm pretty fucking hilarious, sir. Thanks for noticing."

So he let me off with a ticked for speeding and gave me a "stern warning" about my behavior for the future. Whoops. Mom was probably going to be upset about that. Sucks for me!

I went ahead and Drove Mr. K. back to his place since he had already called in "sick" for the rest of the day and going ahead to Wal-Mart seemed dangerous so that just left me and Luki, who had moved up to the passenger seat. I drove in a random direction as we decided what to do next.

"So where do you want to go," I questioned. "If you say school I am pulling over and slapping you."

"I don't know; where else can we go except, well, home or something?" he said.

"Drive to Nashville?"

"Nah. We did that last week." He pondered for a moment. "We could always drive to Georgia and kidnap my sister. She's still on the stupid choir trip thing, after all. I bet we could find her."

I deliberated the thought for a moment. It was Thursday and the school choir would be coming back the next morning anyway… "Sure, but you owe me for gas. Oh, yeah, and text mom. Tell her I'll be gone until nine-ish. Make up something nice for me."

"Where's your phone?"

"On the dashboard. Text your sister, too. Tell her she's sexy," I said.

"Ew, no. I'm not telling my sister she's sexy," Luki refuted.

"It's from me. Tell her." I looked at the time. "One already? She's in Atlanta; that's a four hour drive."

"Not if you speed," Luki inferred, typing away at light speed. "Hah. Luka doesn't think we're gonna come."

"Ask her where she'll be around six. Did you tell her she's sexy?" (by the way, it's six because of the time change.)

"Dude, I'm not going to tell my little sister she's sexy."

"How can you just ignore her sexiness like that? I mean, her boobs are the size of… me." Luka was known for being comparable to Dolly Parton when it came to her MASSIVELY ENORMOUS chest.

Luki ignored me and read me my messages. "Your mom says 'Kay, don't get anyone pregnant.' I told her you're driving to Georgia. Not sure she believes me or not. Luka says that they'll be eating dinner at their hotel from six to seven and if we're abducting her we have to take her friend with us."

"Who's her friend?" I asked.

"Rin Kagamine."

"She that snarky little blonde from our class?"

"The one and only."

Sounds like fun. Oh, and you're driving home. Better sleep now."

Luki made an "Mm" sound in reply and kept texting—his sister I supposed. Now for the long drive on the same endless stretch of road for an excessive, butt-numbing amount of time. Oh hell yes.

Haha. Sarcasm. I'm so funny.

…

**Okay. So BIG thanks to everyone that reviewed my first chapter/prologue/thing! ^^ This is my first time writing a story where I'm actually TRYING to be funny all the time sooooo I hope I at least made you smile a couple times. lol**

**I hope this wasn't majorly offensive to anyone in any way. I make fun of a lot of things in this story, so just don't take it personally. I do not share the opinions of my characters… and I'm usually just making fun of the place where I live, anyway XDXD**

**Chapter 2 is already under way! I write this in my third period study hall class which is weird because I hate writing at school, but I really like writing this story. x3x3**

**Review! Please~?  
**


	3. How Many Idiots to Screw a Lightbulb?

**fhjdsaklfhdjksa so many typos sorry about that  
Oh, look. A language/mature references warning and a disclaimer about not owning Vocaloid.**

…

TiNaF

Chapter 2: How Many Idiots does it take to Screw a Light Bulb?

I woke Luki up after four long, grueling hours of driving as soon as we got to the first wave of Atlanta traffic.

"Hmm? Where are we?" he groaned.

"Geoooorgia," I said nonchalantly. "Where did you think, genius?"

He stared at me angrily for a moment, though he was still tired-looking so it wasn't very effective. "Rainbow Unicorn Dreamland. We're in Atlanta."

"Traffic. We're in Atlanta traffic."

"Gross. Why'd you wake me up?"

"I need you to ask Luka where their hotel is."

Luki got my phone out of his pocked (have to burn it, now. Great) and started slowly texting his sister. "Do you have any music in here?" he asked.

"I don't know. Check the glove box," I told him.

I heard some rustling followed by Luki's dismal voice: "Lady Gaga? _Justin Beiber?_ What the hell is this shit, dude?"

"Oh, shut up. I have to drive Miku to school in the mornings and she _freaks_ if she doesn't have her music. Justin Beiber is a decoy, though. There's Linkin Park in there, you know, so nobody steals it," I explained.

"Mikuo, you are a genius."

The one thing I liked about my stupid truck was the stereo I'd had installed. I'd sooner drive off a cliff than go a week without music.

Oh, so I don't guess I've said a whole lot about my sister yet, other than the whole most annoying princess in the world thing. Her name: Miku Hatsune. She was thirteen and an eighth grader in middle school, which happened to be the most obnoxious age and state one could possibly be. She had the attention span of a squirrel and her hair went way past her nonexistent ass and she always wore it up in these girly little pigtails because her maturity level was _also_ that of a squirrel's. She was utterly boy crazy and changed "boyfriends" every week, if you can even have a freaking boyfriend when you're that naïve and ditzy. Seriously ridiculous. I'd caught her making out with one of her boy toys once, if you could even call it that. The guy was sloppy, and Miku, being the spazzy little squirrel that she was, didn't even notice. She got sooo pissed at me, like I cared; I was too busy getting that assface to gtfo of my house.

"They're at the Marriott," Luki mentioned, ending my thought train.

"Sounds fancy. Where is it?"

"Looking up the directions now. Gosh, Mikuo, how do you use this freaking android? This is why my family does iphones," Luki complained.

"They test iphones on animals, you know."

"The hell they do! That's bullshit."

"'We will now proceed to see what kinds of psychological reactions these rats get when we throw iphones at them. Don't worry, the iphones are padded and protected from the hard rat skeletons.'" I announced in my awesome fake news anchor voice. "Really, I saw it on a documentary once."

"Fuck you, Mikuo." Luki looked back at my phone for a few moments before managing to pull up directions. "Take a right at the next exit, then left at the first traffic light you hit."

"You're so Do-M."

Luki didn't respond for a few seconds. "Okay, tell me what it means."

It means you're easy to pick on. Which you are."

"Shut up. Oh, Luka still thinks you're bluffing."

"Tell that busty babe that she is mistaken."

"Will you_ please_ stop talking about my sister's chest?"

"So what do you know about Rin Kagamine, anyway?" I asked, complying with his request.

"Well, I don't talk to her all that much since she's Luka's friend, but she's been over to our house—"

"Your huge-ass mansion ski-lodge," I interrupted.

Luki took a moment then continued, "She's been to our house a couple times and she's in my English class. She sits in front of me. Seems pretty smart; talks a lot in class discussion. I hear her singing voice is awesome."

"Ooh. Pop stars are always sexy. Think she'll dig my mad acting skills?" I kidded.

"Shut up, you egocentric toddler." I stuck my tongue out at him and he almost punched me in the face but I was driving and "no punching" was rule number two when behind the wheel. (Rule number one is "Everyone on the road is an idiot.") "Turn left here."

"Gahd. So many left turns."

"Will you quit griping? The hotel's right there," Luki griped.

"Text Luka. Is there any temporary parking arou—holy crap this place is huge!"

"Already on it. Of course it's huge. My family owns it. Park in the front. We're just picking up." Another thing I forgot. Luki's family was old money. His father was head of countless businesses and corporations of the sort. I never bothered asking what they were. I figured I'd find out what I needed to know if it mattered. This would be one of those things.

"So where are they inside this monster?" I quizzed uncertainly.

"Just follow me. Luka texted me her and Rin's room number. 1629. So we can get their crap for them or whatever."

I parked and Luki and I stepped out of my totally out-of-place vehicle. Luki walked around like he owned the place (which he kind of did) and went to the first employee he saw, pulled out a black ID card from his pants, and asked that his sister's and friend's belongings be delivered safely to my pickup.

This guy was like frekking Iron Man. Money is a superpower.

Anyway, I followed him inside the HUGE lobby and he led me to some fancy restaurant place toward the back. We then switched on our "stealth mode," creeping around the corner before nonchalantly walking in, looking for a large crowd of nerds*cough*choir students and, in particular, a head of pink hair. Thank God they were near the front. Luki eyed Luka until she looked up. I stopped myself from laughing at her face. It looked like someone asked her if she was okay, after that, and she nodded… wait. No, she's changed her mind now. She's feeling sick and blondie is offering to take her to her room. I stopped watching them and Luki and I pretended we were unable to find the people we were looking for, so we strode back out into the lobby.

"Luka, what are you doing? The room elevators are that—" a confused, slightly high-pitched voice cut off. "Oh my gosh they weren't lying."

"Come on; let's get out of this joint!" Luka's voice sounded, followed by running footsteps.

"But—but what about our luggage?" The other girl called after her, followed by her footsteps as well. I'd already assumed her to be Rin.

"Mikuo. Keys." Luki held out his hand expectantly as the two girls caught up to us.

"What's the magic word?"

"Justgivemethefukkin keys, Mikuo." No, really. That was the magic word. Came up with that freshman year. Hahaha we're so funny. *sarcasm*

"Who the hell are you and why are you saving us from this god-awful choir trip?" Rin requested rather accusingly.

"Mikuo Hatsune. You're welcome," I said.

"I never said thank you."

"It was implied." By now we'd gotten to my crap car and it appeared that all of their luggage had been safely delivered.

"I call shotgun!" Luka yelled, climbing into the front seat.

"Aw. I wanted to sit next to Lukiiiiiii," Rin whined.

"No you don't," I insisted. "He's such a bore. I'm much more fun." I winked at her to see if I could freak her out a little.

She stared at me like I was a giant mutant turtle. "You're an ass."

"What? I have a nice ass? Why, thank you for noticing," I replied.

"No, I said you _are_ an ass. I wasn't going to tell you how nice your ass was until the second date," Rin retorted slyly.

I narrowed my eyes at her then smirked. "Oh, we're gonna get along reeeeaal nice-like."

"Mikuo stop flirting and get your nice ass into your truck!" Luki snapped impatiently.

"You're one to talk, Luki," I spoke smoothly as I got in the back seat. "Sorry, but I only date people that eat meat." Rin followed after me.

Luki started up the car and began driving out of Atlanta and the godforsaken traffic that came with it. I yawned ant stretched my arms out, purposely trying to aggravate Rin, because that's what I do and all. Then I rested my head in her lap and announced my intentions to go to sleep.

"Get off me, perv!" Rin yelled at me, paired with a halfhearted attempt to push me onto the floor.

"But I'm so tired! You don't expect me to sleep against that cold, hard window, do you?"

"Yes, just a little bit."

"O, well if it's only a little then I can just stay here. And can I mention just how comfortable your legs are to lie on?" I paired the comment with an attempt to feel her leg up, but she swatted my hand away.

"Okay, you're getting up, now," Rin said, moving me up off of her.

"I take back that first comment. You're no fun at all."

"I'd be much more fun if you weren't being such an ass," she stated.

"Rin told me I have a nice ass again. I think she wants to sleep with me," I accused.

"Rin, you know sex on the first date is slutty," Luka chided.

"What! I do _not_ want to sleep with Mikuo! What the hell!" Rin squealed.

"You liar. Everyone wants to sleep with me."

"For the record," Luki started, "I do not want to sleep with Mikuo."

"Yes you do," I insisted. "But I refuse, until you man up and eat some cow."

"No way! Cows are amazing! It's bad enough we suck the semen out of them."

"Luki, I am pretty sure milk is _not_ cow reproductive fluid," Luka said.

"Speaking of cows, I'm starving. Anyone got some food?" I asked.

I was met with silence, that is, until Rin spoke up: "I could throw up into your mouth like a bird if you want."

"… Never mind. I'm suddenly not hungry anymore."

…

**The weekend hit and this was suddenly impossible to write for a couple days… plus I couldn't get a lot done at school. BUT I HAVE UPDATED NONETHELESS. No idea what next chapter will be about! Any suggestions? I'm thinking the group is probably going to skip school or something. Sounds exciting, nee? **

**Anonymous reviewer:**

**AliasStars: hfdjkasfdhfdkjsa Thanks you~! It's absolutely invigorating. I can say all the bad words I want! Also OMFG YO'RE THE CHICK THAT WRITES HILARIOUS STORIES ABOUT TEXTING N JUNK FHDKJSALDLSAJKdf. Kay I'm finished now. x3x3**


	4. Ready or Not, Here I Come

**Don't own Vocaloid. Language warning. Etc. Etc.**

0o0o0

**TiNaF**

Chapter 3: Ready or Not, Here I Come

"Soo…" Rin said.

Pause.

"Soo…" Luka said.

Pause.

"Soo…" Luki said.

Long pause.

"… Soo…" I said

"What do we do next?" Rin asked. We'd been driving for about three hours after Luki stopped to get me some food that Rin didn't have to regurgitate for me, which was nice considering I didn't exactly eat lunch… or breakfast for that matter. Granted I didn't usually eat breakfast, anyway. "We should skip tomorrow."

"I totally agree," I agreed. "Except my APUSH" AP U.S. History "AP exam is tomorrow afternoon."

"I forgot about that. I have it, too. Luki, are you in that class?"

Luki sputtered. "Hell naw. I don't hate myself enough to take that class," Luki disclosed.

"Mikuo, since when has a major test stopped you from skipping school? I mean, really. You can always just skip half the day and show up for the test, you know," Luka sanctioned.

"That is very true," Rin pondered. "So what are we doing in the meantime?"

"I vote we stay at Luki's monster house and play hide-and-seek," I ruled. "All in favor?"

"I love that game! Not it!" Luka yipped.

"Not it!" Rin and I said in unison.

"You guys are all fucked," Luki said smugly.

We should probably limit it to one section of the house so no one gets lost…" Luka mumbled.

"Keep it on the third floor. So our parents won't flip out with people running around. Odds are they won't even know you guys are there," Luki concluded.

"Sounds good to me," I said. The third floor was the smallest of the four floors of Luki's ginormous mansion ski-lodge thing (including the basement), but that just meant it was the size of the living space of two or three _normal_ individuals' homes. There were seven guest bedrooms each with their own walk-in closet, bathroom, and high-definition T.V., as well as a study room, game room, laundry room, living room, and a small kitchen. In short, hide-and-seek anywhere inside this house was the most epic game in the world. Shaddup. We're mature here. "Luki, did you give me my phone back?" I questioned off topic.

"Nope," he stated bluntly. "Luka, if you would, be a doll and get Mikuo's phone out of my pocket, will you?"

"Ew, no. Gross. I'm not sticking my hand in your pants to get Mikuo's stupid phone," Luka argued.

"My phone takes offense to that statement," I threw in.

Luka glowered at me for a moment before returning to Luki. "Get it yourself."

"I can't. I'm driving. Gotta concentrate."

"Luki, if you want someone to put their hand in your pants, all you have to do is ask," I said, nonchalantly leaning forward and fetching my phone off of Luki's crotch.

Sitting back, I found Rin staring at me with a look of mixed surprise, disgust, and intrigue. "You are either the worst closet gay ever or the most comfortably straight man in the world."

"Second one. _Trust me,_" Luka insisted.

I sat pondering and held up a finger to indicate it nonverbally. "Hold on. I'm trying to think up something sexual and offensive to reply to that… Oh! Luka's chest!"

"Okay, enlighten me. How in the world is Luka's chest in any way considered offensive," Rin uttered dully.

Well it must be offensive to you, Rin. By the way, I think that sports bra you're wearing might be too big for you."

_SLAP._

Totally worth it.

"Two things," Rin started coolly, rubbing her hands together to stop the sting. "One, my chest size is NONE of your concert, and two, _hooooww_ did you know I was wearing a sports bra? I am wearing a t-shirt and a sweatshirt."

"I didn't," I replied simply. Trololololol.

"… You suck as a human being."

I took that opportunity to actually use my phone to message my mother saying I would be staying at Luki's place and there would be lots of alcohol and sex. Also, she'd need to take Miku to school the next day. She said, and I quote, "Have fun playing hide-and-seek! Don't skip your exams."

She knew me so well.

Since we're on the subject anyway, and no one is talking in the car, I may as well share with you a little bit about my family. My parents divorced when I was ten, the perfect age for you to think it's all your fault or some crap like that, and I didn't see my dad very often after that because he went off to Europe to live with some hot blonde or something stupid like that. So my mother was left to care for a ten- and five-year-old alone. No, this isn't one of those stories where the parents separate so the older sibling becomes the head of the house or whatever. This is real life. I wouldn't have known what the hell I was doing and my mother knew that. She had to be an adult for two people, spread too thin. And my little sister, consequently, was never able to really grow up. Now, the next part of the story is a little controversial. You may want to sit down for this. My dad left my mom while she was pregnant. Yeah. Three months. It was no secret. My mother didn't have the financial or the emotional resources to care for another child, so she ended up having to get an abortion. There. That's what I was talking about. I didn't understand it at the time, of course; I didn't ask. Now, I know what you're thinking. Why would you get an abortion instead of the adoption alternative? The answer is simple: money. She didn't have insurance at the time, which meant it would cost over twenty times more to go through with the medical bills involved in childbirth, and even with the custody money, that was about twenty times more than she was capable of paying. Life's a bitch.

So anyway, my mom had always been pretty lenient with Miku and me. It was a coping mechanism. We grew up more as friends than mother and son. Then I eventually learned how to pretend to be responsible… around people. I was still impulsive and prone to getting speeding tickets, though my mom did finally get a decent job that paid enough to make up for a missing parent. And I always jacked money from Luki. Couldn't dip into family funding, of course. I was such a moocher.

"Mikuo, are you okay? Your face just had a whole conversation with itself," Rin bothered.

"Hm, what?" I mumbled, coming out of my thoughts.

"Well, at first it was all thoughtful. Then you looked a little sad, which morphed into concern, then disdain, then sad again, and then you went all smug and stuff, then you started chuckling to yourself and I kind of wanted to know what I was missing out on."

"I was just thinking about _The Avengers_," I lied, quite smoothly, in fact. "Great movie, by the way. You seen it?"

"No. I'm not really in to superheroes," Rin said matter-of-factly

"Oh, you've got to watch it. The scene after the credits are through is the funniest thing in the world. We're seeing it. Tomorrow. It's a date," I said, not giving her a chance to talk. I smirked when I saw her start to blush.

"A-ah oh…kay, then," she voiced, looking taken aback.

Luka sensed Rin's discomfort and added, "Don't worry. Luki and I will go, too. It can be a double-date!"

"Oh…kay?"

I failed to hold in my laughter at her face.

"Sh-shut up, asshole!"

0o0o0

So in another hour and a half or something like that, Luki pulled up into his massive driveway leading to his massive house, its massive silhouette illuminated against the dark trees and sky. It was nine-ish or something like that. Perfect time to play a game.

"Let's play with the lights out!" Luka spilled with enthusiasm.

"That is a _terrible_ idea. Let's do it," I agreed.

"Whatever," Luki sighed. "I'm not liable if one of you idiots breaks a hip."

The third floor of the Megurine house had an interesting layout. There was the main room/kitchen area with three hallways branching off of it, one to the left and two to the right, leading to various, uncategorized rooms. Absolutely PERFECT for this game. Hey, we're not childish. Luki once had, like, twenty-five people over here just to play and, needless to say, it was the best night, like, ever.

"You guys better start trying to hide now, if you don't want me to find you," Luki sang.

Everyone shot out of the car like cockroaches on Animal Crossing as Luki started his slow, calculating count. I headed straight for the laundry room. That was always where I went when I wanted to get caught, because I was so beastly at chasing people down and all. I saw Rin and Luka go into each of the two right hallways. Totally started planning a way to scare the sheiβe out of them.

I waited patiently for Luki to come to me. I counted to 107 before he came in, smiling at my sight. He had water guns. And not those stupid little three-inch pussy squirt guns. No, these were the badass, supersoaker, machine gun, bitch-ass whipping pimps.

Not a word was exchanged as we made our way back into the living room. We had created a system of hand signal communication a few years back for optimal surprise over our victims. We also planned out our attacks so that they could not take place more than once every three games or so. No one ever saw us coming.

I signed that I would be going for Rin down the first hall and that Luki should go first to get Rin freaked out if Luka screamed. He signaled back, saying to wait at least thirty seconds to go if I didn't hear anything.

I didn't even get to ten when I heard a bloodcurdling shriek come from Luka's hall. I moved stealthily to the first room down Rin's hall, pausing and listening for movement. Rin was inside, apparently reacting quite recklessly to Luka's scream, because she made no effort to conceal herself.

I flung open the door and met Rin's eyes with a sneer. "Oh, shi—" My superspecialawesome water gun powers cut her off before she could get two words out. She yelled and stumbled backward into a wall. Not onto. Not beside. Not against. _Into_ the wall. I almost broke a rib, I was laughing so hard.

"What the hell did you do, Mikuo?" Luki demanded with an obvious smile in his voice.

"Oh my god, Mikuo. What did you do to Rin?" Luka accused.

I looked over at Rin who was trying to stumble up out of the wall rubble. She glared at me as I looked her over. "Ooh. Great day to wear a white t-shirt, Kagamine," I called. She immediately folded her arms across her almost nonexistent chest defensively. "Yeah. Cross your arms. It helps," I went on with mild sarcasm falling from my words.

"You're a bitch," Rin stated bluntly.

"I want to know how fifty-pound Rinny, here, managed to fall through your wall, Luki. I didn't know your folks were that cheap," I taunted.

"You want to know how that happened? Well, it's a _great_, funny story, let me tell you," Rin snapped. "Here I am, hiding in the dark, minding my own business when this macabre, horror-movie-esque wail comes from the other room, so I start freaking out and I stand up when I see writing on the wall over here." She pointed at the hole in the wall.

"So you decided to break my house?" Luki asked bleakly.

"No! I wasn't trying to break our house! It was just really weird. No kidding, it said 'fourth wall' right in the middle there! Then Mikuo came in and _attacked me_ with a water gun and I fell on something."

"That would be the wall, dearest," I said.

"No, assface, there was something inside the 'fourth wall'!"

Luki walked over to the scene of the crime and pulled something out. "Luka, turn on the light," he directed. He set a black case in the middle of the room as the light was flicked on. In large, white letters, the word "plot" was stenciled onto the front of the case.

An awkward silence befell us.

Wait. So Rin just broke the fourth wall and found a plot case…

"What the fuck?"

"I don't even know…"

"What are we sitting around for?" Luka interjected. "Let's open this thing!" She turned the case to face her then stared at it for a moment before cursing. "Damn. Number lock. Ten-digit, too."

"What! I didn't fall through the fourth wall to find a locked plot case! There has to be a code somewhere around here." Rin then started pouring through the rubble she created and, soon enough, Luka was helping out, too. Luki and I looked at each other, made two seconds of eye contact, then turned back slowly, raising our hydro-weapons.

Rin kicked me so hard, I think I got my virginity back.

0o0o0

**I must say, that has to be my favorite end line, like, ever. XDXDXD**

**Btw, sorry about being so late with this chapter, guys. (well it's not late compared to my other stories… but still) I had AP testing all last week and that made everything CRAZY. I have regular testing the week after next, too. Succckkkkssss for me. This is such a busy time of year. Not to mention the three cosplays I need to make before June…. ~ fml, gaiz.**

**I'll try to update faster next time. Anybody have any suggestions for future activities these crazy teenagers should take part in?**

**Anonymous:**

**AliasStars: Lololol Your reviews amuse me. Thank ya!**


	5. Too Much Naked

**Warning: Language, sexual themes, don't own Vocaloid. Et cetera et cetera.**

0o0o0

TiNaF

Chapter 4: Too Much Naked

0o0o0

So I had the greatest idea EVER…

At four o'clock in the morning.

And I just _had_ to tell someone about it.

"Rin," I whispered loudly, stalking up to her bed. "Hey, Rin. Wake up." I shook her a bit and she shot up, almost hitting me in the forehead.

"_What_ the hell, Mikuo! I thought you were going to freaking molest me!" she whisper-screeched.

"No, not 'til later. I just had the greatest idea!"

"Not until _later_? What! Dude, what is wrong with you? Where are your pants?"

I looked down. I had on boxers and the wife-beater I'd been wearing under my shirt during the day. "Not important. Do you want to hear my idea or what?"

"No, I want to go back to sleep!" Rin rolled over and put a pillow over her face.

I sat down next to her and leaned down to her covered face. "I'm staying here until you listen. I'll stay here _all_ night then when Luka comes to wake you up in the morning, she will immediately make assumptions and post them on twitter. Then your friends and friends of your friends will pin you as a whore so you'll have to move out and live in your own apartment. Then you'll get rough and start hitting it off with the street crowd. _Then_ you'll get gang-raped and you'll have a gangster baby with five different ethnicities. You don't want a gangster baby with five different ethnicities—"

"Okay! I will listen to your stupid idea! Just stop talking about gangster babies!" Rin whirled around and said with exasperation.

"Alright!" I replied cheerfully, jumping back up. "Tomorrow, while skipping school, I'm gonna get a tattoo."

Rin stared at me for what seemed like—no, it _was_ a really long time. Then her palm came in contact with her face. "Are you effing kidding me?" she grumbled.

"Course not! Now, I need you to help me decide what it will be. Like, should it be a mostly naked woman, or a 'Mom' tattoo, or a tramp stamp…"

"Did you seriously just suggest getting a tramp stamp? Dude, you're a dude," Rin stammered.

"Well I don't know! I've been thinking about this for a whole twenty seconds and I haven't gotten _anywhere_," I shot back. Twenty seconds was a long time… *cough*

Rin sighed and yawned. "How about you have it say 'impulsive' on your back," she murmured into the yawn.

"By George, she's got it! I'll have it be in pretty, scripted letters on a ribbon. And all black and white. Oh, this will just be perfect!" In my excitement I pulled Rin up and hugged her (more like squeezed the life out of her), then rushed out of the room. Personal space? What's that?

Back in my room, (yes, I did call it my room because it was the room I always stayed in) I pulled a notepad out of a drawer and sketched out a rough design, and then I fell asleep about twelve seconds later.

_My personality in a nutshell._

0o0o0

I woke up to someone hitting me in the face with a water balloon… which failed to immediately pop and rolled off onto the floor (where it actually burst. The sound it made allowed me to identify the object in the first place.) My eyes opened into slits to see who dared try to wake me, but it was just Luki so I rolled over and ignored him, shielding my eyes from the blinding light parading its way inside. Stupid light. Did I _say_ you could come in? Aw hell naw; I didn't think so.

I was hit again, this time the sad excuse for a latex-covered hydrosphere rolled off onto my arm. I tossed it away halfheartedly.

Then he pegged me. The thing freaking exploded on my head and got my hair all wet and junk.

"What the hell, man!" I yelled, shooting up.

"Luki stared at me blankly. You looked like you needed a shower, so I helped you."

"No, you _ruined_ the bedhead I was going for," I snapped "I had a perfect ahoge* right in the middle of my face and you just _ruined _it."

"Don't get your panties in a wad, Mikuo. But really. Take a shower."

"What the hell, man. Why do you want me to take a shower so bad? So creepy."

"You were driving all day yesterday and you are absolutely disgusting."

"I showered yesterday, man! I'm not disgusting."

"Holy fuck, dude, just get in the shower!"

"Well okay, then. If you want me naked in your house that bad, I will take a freaking shower."

"Just trust me on this one." Luki left the room and I picked my clothes up off the ground before heading to the bathroom. I then became naked and tried not to stare at my sexy bod for too long.

I turned on the shower.

"HOLY GOD! LUKI, YOUR SHOWER RAINS SKITTLES!" **(a/n: my shower totally does this XD)** It didn't _really_ rain skittles, but when I turned it on rainbow lights started flashing from the showerhead like an effing pro.

"I told you!" Luki yelled back.

Needless to say: Best. Shower. Ever.

0o0o0

"Mikuo, was that you yelling about skittles earlier?" Rin asked me as I strolled into the living room. I noticed that Rin must have borrowed something of Luka's, though God knows how anything of Luka's managed to fit her. Eh, it was a loose style anyway. I noted that I would have to raid Luki's closet later.

"Indeed. Haven't you seen the showers in this place? Holy shiz, they're awesome," I replied.

"I'll… take your word on that," Rin said hesitantly.

"You seen Luki anywhere? I need to steal from his wardrobe."

"Nope. Can't say I have," Rin disclosed.

"Darn. I guess I'll have to go down there all by myself," I held, feigning discontent.

"You have fun with that."

I went downstairs to the second floor and opened the door to Luki's room. Hey, it wasn't locked. That's like an engraved invitation for me to barge in, right?

Wrong. You'll never guess what I saw, either. A girl with bright red hair (one piece sticking up in the middle) was standing half-naked—as in a skirt and TOTALLY bare-chested—next to Luki, who was laying back suggestively. With his pants on, mind you. The girl gasped and covered herself with an arm but didn't seem embarrassed otherwise since she didn't turn away or anything, though her face was pretty red.

"There is absolutely _no_ way I can explain," Luki admitted.

I stared at them for a moment longer, holding back the question of "room for three", then walked in past the naked chick and grabbed some shorts and a t-shirt.

"You should probably lock the door next time," I advised, winking before I left them to carry on.

From outside I heard the redhead say something like, "Is he always like this?" and Luki made a sound of approval. Then I decided I didn't want to listen any further so I started back up the stairs, changing as I went. I'd apparently picked up some sort of white t-shirt with black and blue graphic designs (that was just tight enough to be uncomfortable because Luki is shaped like a stick) and khaki shorts.

Back upstairs, I found that Luka had drowsily made her way to the living room and Rin was in the kitchen making eggs or something.

"Morning, Luka," I greeted. "Say, you wouldn't happen to know the redhead in Luki's room, would you?"

She stared at me for a moment, processing the question. "Oh! That's Miki. She's an old family friend that just moved back here a couple weeks ago," she explained.

"Ah, I see. Remind Luki to lock the door next time." I heard something drop in the kitchen. Looks like _someone_ sucks at eavesdropping. (As if anyone wouldn't want to listen in. I mean, come on. I'm hilarious!)

Luka took a while to respond again. Obviously not a morning person. "… Oh, yeah. I told them that last time, too."

The same object was dropped again and I heard Rin curse from the kitchen, "Damn fork!"

"Rin, would you care to join in our conversation?" Luka offered. "Or would you rather just keep on dropping silverware for dramatic effect?"

"I'll opt out of this one," Rin insisted. "Either of you picky about your eggs or can I get creative?" she asked.

"Do whatever," Luka said over her shoulder. She decided then was a good time to move to a different couch, for some odd reason, and I thought that that would be a good time for me to sit down in general. "Don't worry; Rin's an excellent cook. Well, she does breakfast food. As for everything else…"

"Hey, I heard that!" Rin complained.

"Oh, hush, now. You're not part of this conversation!" Luka chatted.

"So, what are we doing today?" Luki asked in an announcing manner as he came up the stairs stretching. The redhead girl Miki followed him and I made sure to hold three seconds of wide-eyed eye contact so she'd feel awkward and self-conscious.

"I'm getting a tattoo," I held. I heard Rin's facepalm from the other side of the room, so I added, "Rin helped me pick it out." Another hand was added. And a table. She was going to run out of appendages eventually.

"Of course you are," Luki sighed. "Miki, meet your new best friends," he said, gesturing out to the room. "Apparently all of them have seen you naked except for Rin back there."

"Oh, do I need to take my shirt off so she won't feel left out?" Miki started, clutching the edge of her shirt.

"YES," I encouraged rather loudly. Rin threw a plastic spoon at my head.

"Shut up, Mikuo. I think you've gotten your eyeful for the day," Rin snapped.

Ohoho. Do I smell jealousy? Delicious.

"Oh, okay, then," Miki stated cheerfully. "Ooh. Are you making breakfast? Can I help?"

"Sure," Rin sighed. "Luki, do you eat anything other than french fries?"

"NO," I claimed rather loudly.

"Shut up, asshole!" Luki yelled. "I'll just get some cereal."

"Oh, Okay," Rin said. "… Hey, Mikuo, could you come here for a second?" she went on.

"Gah. What could you possibly want?" I replied, climbing over the back of the couch I was sitting on (like a boss) and moving toward the kitchen

"I just felt like it would be weird if I directly asked Luki what he puts in his cereal if he is so against… how do I put it… cow sucking."

"Some fake, plant-y substitute crap," I answered. "It's gross. But whyyyy do you care?"

"Because shut up."

So the ladies finished making my breakfast and such and I found that Luka wasn't lying when she said that Rin was good at cooking eggs. I had no clue what the hell was in them, but it tasted orgasmic.

A few moderately boring conversations passed and Miki made herself useful by referring me to a tattoo parlor that would take in impulsive children like me. Apparently she had a friend that worked there or something. So she and everyone else piled into my retarded truck and we ended up in some obscure ghetto neighborhood. Then there was a whole load of crap I had to go through to get the tattoo and pay and everything and I told everyone else to go do something productive while I went through THE MOST PAINFUL EXPERIENCE OF MY EXISTENCE. Rin was nice enough to stay, though. As in I pressured her into staying because I'm manipulative and can't stand being alone.

So yeah, other than the excruciating pain, the whole process was utterly boring. The artist was about as interesting as a dead rat. As in, the most interesting thing you could say about him was, "Oh, look! It's still decaying!"

Kay I'm bored with this. Now I'm standing in front of a double mirror so I can see how sexy I look with the new, awesomely scripted word between my shoulder blades. Yup. Still sexy.

"Hey, Rin. Like it?" I asked, turning my bare back toward her.

I watched her eyes look me over… and over… and over…

"Rin?"

"Yes!" She jumped. "Very nice…" She trailed off and got in one last glance before averting her gaze.

"What time is it?" I raised.

"Ten 'til eleven—whoa shit. We have to get to our APUSH exam in half an hour."

"Oh dang that's not good."

The others were browsing around the other weird shops and things next to the parlor so Rin went to round them up while I started the car.

Just a btw. I haven't been awake for this class all year, much less studied for it. So going to fail.

0o0o0

***ahoge is Japanese for "retarded piece of hair" if you didn't know. I think everyone should know that word. XD**

**I got almost nothing done that I wanted to get done this chapter. Do you realize that I just took four chapters to tell the story of less than two days? Good grief, how am I going to get through the next week before their summer starts? ~**

**But really. Anyone with suggestions, **_**you are welcome to throw things out there**_**. I'm just writing as I go.**

**I should probably give Mikuo some sort of love interest soon, huh… WELL THEN LET'S SEE IF THAT WORKS.**


	6. Some Animals were Harmed in the Making

**Usual warnings and disclaimer apply.**

TiNaF

Chapter 5: Some Animals were Harmed in the Making of this Story

0o0o0

Rin and I walked inside calmly after I sped _all_ the way across town. We made it to the school two minutes before the doors for testing closed, not bothering to check in or anything.

The test was… so… boring. Four hours long and three essays. I honestly slept half the time. The kid next to me had to wake me up whenever we started a new section. And the testing area was so FREKKING COLD. It took forever for me to fall asleep the first time _because of the ridiculous temperature in there._ It was almost summer, for crying out loud. Be warm.

So, of course, the first question_ everyone_ asks me a grand four hours later is "How do you think you did?" These jackasses know that I slept through class all year. Hell, I slept through the last essay. What do they effing expect me to say? "I got the highest grade!" No. I don't think so.

It took forever for me to find Rin. Her hair color was just so… normal. Impossible to see.

"Rin, come on. Luki and the others should be waiting for us by now. We have a movie to go to," I said after I finally located her.

"Wait, you weren't kidding about that?" Rin sputtered, somewhat dismayed.

"Of course not! I never lie about a date." I winked at her then turned and headed for the front door.

Okay, ahm, I should probably tell you this now before I forget and you go find out on your own. I may, ever so slightly, could _possibly_ be a little bit of a playboy. Just a little! I never got into relationships, just, uh, flings. No, I wouldn't call it that. And I didn't like hurting anyone I went with. It was more… friends with benefits. Kind of. I hated dating (still do), and Luki was the same way (now I'm making excuses). But it's not like I did that ALL the time. Normally during the summer with chicks that weren't in to any sort of emotional attachment. Of course, I didn't plan to push any of this fwb crap on Rin. I just liked flirting with people. And Rin was so much fun to pick on. I hadn't even looked at her _that_ way. Not as of yet. She just seemed so sweet… when she wasn't kicking my organs into dysfunction.

That reminds me; where did that plot case ever get to?

I'm getting sidetracked again, aren't I? What was I saying. Oh, yeah. I'm not a pervert or anything. Well, I am, but that's because I'm a teenage boy. Anyone that denies perversion is a liar. Remember that. It's a psychological fact. Unless that someone has a brain tumor, in which case they should probably seek professional advice. But all non-tumor refuters are FILTY LIARS.

I made it outside where my crap-car was waiting and I heard Rin speed-walking behind me to catch up. I kicked Luki out of the driver's seat and everyone else played musical chairs to accommodate Rin, though it appeared Luka had left so it wasn't a very hard game.

"Where's Luka?" I inquired from Luki.

"She decided to go home. Didn't want to watch us suck face the whole movie," Luki explained.

"Oh, is that all?" I stated.

"This conversation just got really awkward really fast," Miki noticed.

"Get used to it," Rin alleged. "I've known Mikuo, there, for less than twenty-four hours and he already tried to get in bed with me."

"You did what, now?" Luki demanded.

"I did not!" I defended myself. "I woke her up at four this morning and I… It's a long story, okay?"

"He threatened to molest me," Rin went on.

"Holy crap, liar!" I yelled. "I made _no_ such threat."

"Mikuo, why are you trying to scare my sister's friends away? I don't think she would appreciate that."

"You guys suck," I said.

"Shut up, ass," Rin ruled.

"Rin's complementing my ass again!" I whined. Rin stuck her tongue out at me.

"You must admit, he does have a pretty nice ass," Miki noted.

Everyone paused and turned, unhurriedly, to stare at her.

"What? I-I speak from observation!"

As if on cue, we all, ever so slowly, turned our heads back and pretended that didn't just happen. (Well, everyone but me.)

"… Told you I have a nice ass."

0o0o0

"That. Was. AMAZING!" Rin squealed like a fangirl. "Iron Man was all like _fsshooo_ and Captain America was like _oooh _then Hulk was all like _grfgraahrmaaarrr_!"

"Well, Rin, I'm glad to hear you enjoyed it," Miki concluded. Tch. They sat next to each other in the movie theater. It was a nightmare. They were freaking out over all of the male heroes the whole time, and they always laughed just a little too loud at the jokes.

"What time is it?" I asked.

"I don't know. Check your pants," Luki retorted.

Rin and Miki's eyes immediately went to my crotch in confusion.

"Oh my god, guys, he means my phone," I said in exasperation, reaching into my pocket. "It's about seven. I should probably go home to my sister… oh, wait. That would mean m sister would be home."

"You have a sister?" Rin questioned.

"Of course. I'm sure I've complained about her at least once."

"Nope. You haven't. I would have remembered that. How old is she?"

"What, you got a thing for little girls? She's thirteen or something like that."

"Really? I have a sister that age, too. Her name's Neru."

"What is this madness? So you know my pain, right? Miku is always trying to get under my skin."

"Nope. I lurve my sister with all my might." This chick is crazy…

"You're crazy."

"Am not!" Rin refused. "Well you've got me interested, now. I have to meet her."

"Yeah. I haven't seen the little rascal in forever," Luki added. "You have food, right? We can raid your fridge for dinner."

"I want to meet this annoying sister of yours, too, Miku," Miki stated. "Oh, will Luka want to come?"

"No," Luki and I said in unison.

"Luka can tolerate Miku for about fourteen seconds before trying to kill herself with two rusty spoons and a paper napkin," Luki explicated.

"How does she use the…" Rin trailed off. "Never mind. Hurry, Mikuo! Where's your house?"

"In the middle of the forest," I said, starting the long trudge toward my mentally incapable excuse for a car. I didn't understand why I didn't get to use one of the Megurine's awesometastic vehicles.

So we got in my car and I started toward the near edge of the city where my house was, and apparently I was either just not paying attention to the road or this squirrel had an effing death wish. It was all like, "Ninety percent across the road. Better turn back," and, to my dismay, I hit it.

I say dismay because as soon as I hit it, Luki just about had a freaking heart attack.

"Stupid squirrel," I muttered as Luki started saying, "HOOOWW COOULLD YYOOOOUU?"

"Oh, dammit."

"Holy crap, Mikuo! _Turn around. Go back. Right now_," Luki said loudly.

I stopped the car. "Luki, the squirrel is dead. We cannot nurse it back to health."

"Dammit, Mikuo, turn around. We are burying that dumbass."

"I'm driving, Luki. Let the squirrel go. He is with God now." Insert trollface here.

"I AM NOT GETTING INTO THIS ARGUMENT WITH YOU RIGHT NOW."

"Great. Driving now."

"Assface!" Oh, now he was calling me names. How mature.

"Up yours, dipwad." I shot back. O, look! I'm mature, too!

"Luki, shut up. You, too, Mikuo. And stop having a nice ass," Rin ordered.

"What the hell, Rin. That's not exactly one of those things I can just turn off," I guffawed. Lol. Funny word.

*fifteen minutes later*

"Hey, mom! I made new friends!" I called out into the house.

My house had two stories. It was essentially the generic house that you image whenever you read a story on this site. Front door opens to a living room to the right and a kitchen to the left with a breakfast bar. There's some hallway to the back that never gets mentioned because it's not important to the plot but it has to be there for the house to have enough rooms so it won't collapse or something. Then there's an upstairs where the two siblings have to share a bathroom and there's a guest room next to the main character's room because you _know_ they're eventually going to fuck someone in it. *cough excuse my language cough* And then there's one room that's unique in every story, in my case, the closet where we store all the towels and sleeping bags and dirty laundry away from wandering eyes.

"Oh, good," I heard my mother sigh. "I was afraid you'd be forever alone. Did you have to use drugs this time?" She emerged from the kitchen, probably cleaning or something.

"Only a little," I replied. "This is Rin, and this is Miki," I said, gesturing to them in the respective order.

"Welcome! Please don't bring alcohol into the house! I'll be in my room if you need anything." My mom then turned to go to that insignificant part of the house in the back.

That was the moment Princess Buttfacebooblesssassypants the First decided to make her entrance. She was texting as she walked toward the kitchen—I don't know how she didn't trip on her freakishly long hair and break her face—and looked up to see who was at the door with a semi-hopeful expression on. "Oh, it's just you," she said with disgust, going to sit at the bar.

"So this must be the infamous Miku Hatsune," Rin viewed.

"Depends on who's asking," Miku said, trying to sound like a badass (and failing) without looking up from her phone.

"You text almost as much as my sister does," Rin noted.

"Huh," Miku huffed.

"Okay, let's leave the little teal monster alone, now," I said. "Anyone up for making a bucket of ramen for dinner?"

"Sounds good to me." Miki shrugged.

"Gross. There're chicken particles in that," Luki opposed.

"Bake an effing potato, Luki," I snapped.

"I'll make a salad. Good grief."

"So do you guys have any plans for the summer yet?" Miki asked, leaning over the countertop next to Miku, who gave her a curious look for half a second. Curse her for listening into our conversations.

"I think we should do a junior trip type thing," I suggested. "All of us and Luka and maybe other people should go… somewhere."

"We have a condo or two down in Florida," Luki disclosed. "I bet we can stay down there if we have the maids come in, you know, for 'supervision' or whatever." Luki winked. It was totally creepy, to me, but Miki and Rin probably melted a little bit inside.

"Sounds like a plan! Let's do it. Leaving Memorial Day weekend. For two weeks," I concluded.

"Omigosh, Florida! Can I go, Mikuo? Please please please please please please please please please…" Miku just kept going…

"No."

"Whyyyyy? But I waaaannt tooo Miikuuooooooooo."

"Pf. No way! I am _not_ taking you to Florida with me. No. Not happening."

"Oh, come on, Mikuo. Don't be so harsh," Rin insisted. "I can let my sister come, too. So they can annoy each other instead of us."

"That sounds like a good idea," Luki said. "Come on. It can't be _that_ bad. Even Luka could handle it."

"Fine… but only if I get to drive one of your fancy shmancy cars with working air conditioning." And good insurance. LOL.

"… Deal."

"YAAAAY! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, BROTHER! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!" Miku ran up to give me a hug then dashed up the stairs to go call someone or something stupid like that.

Damn, I was such a sucker… Then I realized the girls would _probably_ want to go swimsuit shopping soon, and I got over it.

0o0o0

**WELL THAT WAS FUN.**

**I like the squirrel thing… and the pants… but this was pretty much a short transition-esque chapter. I want to get out of school soon: I think I'll just give everyone Monday and Tuesday exams and do quick overview of the week so we can to go the BEACH sooner. And when I say "we" I mean the characters…**

**Only have ONE more character to introduce… I think I'll do that sometime next chapter. Anyone got any guesses as to who it is? I'll give you a hint: He's a bit newer and has the BEST male vocal. ;DD**

**Thanks for reading! Plz review?**

**OH YEAH ANONYMOUS REVIEWER  
**

**AliasStars: I love your reviews, dude. xDxD DEFINITELY the fastest way to pick up women. Thanks so much for reviewing. LAWL  
**


	7. F cking Censorship

**Okay, I guess I'll give you the late explanation here, where people might actually read it, and trust me. It's a good excuse.**

**So as of Friday, May 25, my 6 year old lizard passed away. She'd been sick for a while, not eating or, well, moving and I was kind of in denial the entire time. She was as close to me as a dog would be, and it really broke my heart. She was supposed to live for at least another 6 years, but she didn't, and I couldn't go a day without crying for… well let's just say a while. With some evil teacher at my school essentially calling me a slut just a week before, that was not the emotional trauma that I needed at that time. **

**On top of all of that, I was making a Black Rock Shooter cosplay all week for a con that just ended, well, today. So I had no time or energy to do anything but force myself to sew in my tiny crap room. And I had to make another cosplay at the same time. (btw pictures of that will be up on my deviantart soon, if any of you guys dig BRS.)**

**And the end of school (meaning exams) before that. I've been totally exhausted, like, beyond anything I thought possible. Holy crap. I just hope this thing makes sense.**

0o0o0

TiNaF

Chapter 6: F*cking Censorship

0o0o0

_I'm gonna sing the Doom Son, now. DOOM doom doomdoom doom doomdoom doom DOOM. DOOM doom doom. Dooom. Doom da-doom da-doom da-doom doom doomdoom doom doom. Doom do doom doom dooom doom DOOM DOOM DOOM. DOOMY DOOM DOOM. DOOMY DOOMY DOOM._

_What_ the hell was that infernal ringing noise?

Oh.

Alarm clock.

I hit snooze on my phone before it could start singing at me again and proceeded to fall out of my bed onto the floor. Today was Monday, the first day of class exams (much different from AP, btw). I'd been up studying—yes, actually STUDYING—the night before up into the wee hours of the morning. Six was much too early to be waking up.

Everyone had four exams on Monday and three on Tuesday, unless you took exams earlier, which I did for a few classes, so I only had two exams each day.

I rolled over on the floor and wondered why my back was so sore, as I did every morning before remembering I had a tattoo. I then proceeded to will myself into the shower, and, you know those cheesy stories where the person goes into the shower with their clothes still on? Well, I did that. And I didn't notice until after I got out of the shower after falling asleep twice and almost drowning a couple times.

This is why I don't study.

It took me, like, five minutes to get my shirt off cuz I was blind and wet. (Who showers in contacts? Seriously?) Then I just sat there on the floor feeling sorry for myself for a while until Miku started yelling at me, so the sorrow was replaced with mischief. When she threatened to bust the door open I decided to leave so she wouldn't actually try and end up breaking her arm or something. My sister was made out of twigs and various different squirrel-parts. She couldn't handle any of the minor pains in life, such as stubbing her toe, hitting her elbow on the table, or falling down the stairs.

I decided that it was seven-ish and I should probably make an effort to get to school and all since, ya know, I didn't study all night for nothing.

In the mornings I came into the school lunchroom (as if it would be some other lunchroom) and usually sat with Luki and other strangers, but the place was next to empty so I just laid down and tried to get a few more minutes of sleep until someone plopped down next to me and _totally_ screwed me up.

"What exams do you have, Mikuo?" Rin asked me. I looked up drowsily from the table I was sleeping on.

"German and Mr. K., today," I mumbled almost coherently. "Chemistry and theater tomorrow."

"Who's 'Mr. K.'?" she continued.

"Mr. Kamui. The art teacher. Duh. Don't you know anything? God," I replied mockingly, in that really tired sort of way.

"Wait, you take _exams_ in art and theater?" Miki butted in. Wait, since when did she, like, go to school?

"Yeah, it's dumb. They're usually little five-question papers with colors like 'What's a stage?' or 'How do you make purple?' then we eat pizza," I clarified. "Why the hell are you at school?"

Miki shrugged. "I'm homeschooled. I wanted to see what all this 'public frenzy' fuss was about. Seems pretty drab to me."

"Does Luki know you're here?"

"I dunno. I thought he'd be sitting with you guys," she said.

"No, I don't think either of the Megurine's have morning exams, lucky bastards."

"Oh… I don't suppose you have any ideas about what I should do until he gets here, then, do you?"

"I'm sure you can stay with Kamui. There're freshman in his first period that would get a kick out of you," I suggested.

"Sounds great! Um… where's that?"

"I'll show you. Come on, Rin. You still haven't told me your exam schedule." I rose from the table and stretched a bit like the show-off that I am, that and I kind of actually needed to stretch. My shoulders popped like machine guns, man. You don't even know.

"Chill, man, I'm coming. Gosh, you woke up fast," Rin uttered.

"That's what she said."

"You would know."

We dropped off Miki by the art room and she just about had a freaking seizure from all of the colors and posters on the walls. I swear, she was like a four-year-old. No wonder my pedo-best-friend liked her so much. Lol jk but really.

"So what do you have to take?" I inquired of Rin.

"All of my exams are today," Rin sighed. "Chemistry, math, and French II. It sucks because I suck at math. Like, hard. I suck at math so hard, I could make a suggestive joke about it. I'd rather get stung by five mthfrkn wasps than take the math exam."

"Tell me how you really feel," I said sarcastically. "I'm in Pre-cal soooo…"

"How do you even…"

"No clue. Wait, you only have three exams? How in the world did you manage to pull that off?"

"No clue," she mimicked. "Well, this is my class."

I looked at the room number. "Aw. You have Mr. Shion for chemistry, too? That sucks. He's such a prick."

"I heard that, Hatsune!" Shion called to me.

I was going to reply with something snide and inappropriate, but I totally lost my train of thought when someone yelled out Rin's name and walked over next to her.

"The fuck are you?" the stranger aimed at me.

I made eye contact with him, trying to make him feel uncomfortable and intimidated, ya know, cuz that's what I do, and then I notably looked him over. He dressed like a rebel (not really) with his ripped jeans, beanie sticking out of his left pocket, and very bland t-shirt. Green is _not_ a creative color, dude. (If you haven't seen the video I just referenced go look up "Don't Hung Me I'm Scared" on YouTube _right now_.) Of course, it _was_ exam week after all. Anyway, where was I? Hair! Yeah. It was kinda weird, but I was kind of totally jelly. It was dyed pink, but he let it grow out a couple inches so there was this section of blue at the top. So cool. I could never pull off the two-tone look.

Wait, what am I thinking? I'm supposed to be hating on this guy right now. Gah. Whatever.

"So, Rinny, is this that boyfriend you've been telling me all about?" I prodded.

Both of them freaked out at the same time. Rin started yelling obscenities at me and two-tone dude was asking questions.

"You said I was your boyfriend? Rin, what do you say about me behind my back?" two-tone asked.

"Mikuo, what the hell? I haven't said a word about this dude and I do _not_ have a boyfriend!" Rin sputtered.

I started laughing. "You two are fun. What's your name, anyway?" I said, pointing at the stranger I just flustered.

"VY2 Yūma," he answered curtly. The fuck…

"What the hell kind of name is that. Were your parents freaking high when they named you?"

"Probably."

"Good fucking Christ. I'm calling you Yu. It'll confuse you and everyone around us when I'm yelling at you."

That's great and all, but why are you going to be yelling at me?"

"You're probably little Rinny's boy toy, here, and since she's my new bfffffl, we're going to have to get to know each other a little better," I countered smoothly.

"What do all the—"

I cut Rin off: "Ah ah! Don't ask questions," I instructed, putting a finger on her lips.

Rin looked ridiculously confused and Yu appeared mildly amused. (Lol, totally didn't mean to rhyme that.) "Okay, whatever," Yu mused. "Exams are about to start. You may want to consider going to class, that is, if you don't want to fail for the year."

"Something tells me that skipping German and art exams isn't going to fail me for the year, but I'll take your advice anyway so it'll make you feel like you were cleverly getting me to go away. Haha. Yu, I'm going to have a lot of fun puns for your name that will only be recognizable in writing. I hope Yu know that." As a matter of fact, I think I'll start right now.

So I bid my adieus to the "happy [and aggravated] couple" as I have now labeled them in my mind and I couldn't help feeling a pang of something at the thought, and I couldn't help but wonder exactly what it was. It felt like it had something to do with the plotcase. What the hell was that thing, anyway? Dang, we needed to figure out the combination to it sometime.

German exam was boring. Oh, wait, that was redundant. Haha. German and boring. You see what I did there? Oh, gawd, I'm not funny at all when I'm tired.

My second period exam was art with Mr. K., but when I walked into the room, I [mostly] did not expect to see what I saw.

The room was, like, literally covered in paint. There was plastic over the computer and the floor and everything else was just _drenched._ Posters on the walls, tables, chairs. Paint ALL the things.

Then, Miki comes stumbling up to me simply dying with laughter and I could hardly recognize her with all of the paint covering her everything.

"You will _never guess_ what we did last period," Miki gasped between bouts of laughter.

"I think you may gotten paint on the wall, actually. But I honestly have absolutely no idea what the hell is going on," I admitted openly.

"Okay so we had this paint…" She trailed off into more laughing.

"No shit, Sherlock. You know what; you just keep it to yourself. It can be a special memory for you." And you alone. I started to push past her and search for Kamui, who was probably in the back room (aka the Bat Cave) or something, when Miki caught my arm.

"Wait," she said, a more serious look dawning her features. "We found something that looked important while we were throwing paint at each other. It had your name on it."

"Um, okay. What is it?" I asked, expecting it to be some art project of mine that Mr. K. lost at the beginning of the year.

"This." Miki handed me a plastic bag covered in paint. There was a notecard inside that had ten squares on it and two numbers filled in at random places. "It looked like some sort of password or something, so Mr. K. and I decided to keep it for you."

"Weird," I mumbled. "Thanks, I guess. I don't really know what it is, though. I guess I'll throw it away." So. I was _literally_ right about to throw it into the trash can when Luki walked in and took in the scene with no hint of surprise on his face.

Instead, he took notice of the card in my hand. "Dude. You got one of those, too? I just found one under my pillow this morning. So weird. I almost threw it away, too, until Luka noticed the same kind of thing in her closet or something. Crazy, right?"

I looked at him weird for a moment before moving my hand away from the trash can. "Strange indeed," I trailed off. Distantly, I wondered if maybe Rin found the same kind of thing. "We should get all of these things together and see if we can figure out what they are."

"I know, right? Wanna text Rin and see if she got something, too?"

"You know, I was just thinking about that. Wait, since when do you have Rin's number?"

"Since my sister became too lazy to find her own damn phone to text-slash-call her. You want it?"

"Hell yes," I answered. "Oh, she has a math exam right now. I don't think she'll answer until French."

"Since when are you an expert on her exam schedule?"

"Since this morning. I'm remarkably good at remembering useless facts like that when I'm so tired I take showers with my clothes on."

"… Dude, seriously? I thought that only happened in, like, cartoons."

"Me, too, man. Me, too."

It was at that moment that Mr. K. emerged from the Bat Cave, and also the moment that Miki chose to ask the most inappropriate and uncalled for question ever asked ever in the history of the fucking universe.

"When was the last time you got laid, Mr. K.?" she questioned with what sounded like genuine effing curiosity.

"What kind of a question is that?" I spat.

"It's an innocent question!" she insisted.

"Miki, that was in _no_ way innocent. Like, at all. There is absolutely no way you can say that and sound or _be_ innocent," Luki added.

"I don't think that's a school-appropriate question, Miki," Kamui led on gently.

"I'm not a student!" she attempted to affirm.

"That is just… just _so _awkward, Miki. You don't even know how awkward that it, it's so awkward," I drilled.

"Fine then! Leave me guessing! I'd say it's been at least a semester!"

"Why, of all people, are we discussing the love life of Mr. K.?" Luki requested.

"Is it really busy being a teacher? I bet doing art things all day is fun!" Miki continued enthusiastically, totally changing the topic too fast for my attention deficit brain.

"Well, I suppose it's alright. The students here are very charismatic and refreshing, so that's good," Mr. K. replied carefully, probably thankful for the random subject change..

"You talk so formal! You need to loosen up and, like, have a beer or something."

"Miki, we're not allowed to have alcoholic beverages on school grounds," Luki disclosed.

"What! No wonder you're so boring around here. So Mr. K., do you ever have your students draw naked people?"

"Um…"

"…Luki, you can just give me that phone number, now. And, if you would be so kind, do use extra effort so that I do _not_ get Miki's number. Or see it. In fact, just go ahead and make me completely unaware of its existence," I pleaded.

"Right… As far as you're concerned, she doesn't even own a phone."

"Good, good."

0o0o0

Art class didn't stop being awkward and I guess I _could_ tell you what else Miki brought up, but this is a rated-T fic, and I'm not allowed to say those things in a rated-T fic. In fact, I'm probably pushing the boundaries already. Maybe I should start censoring whenever someone says the fuck word… Oops.

Aight, I'ma skip ahead now past going to sonic with Luki, Mr. K. and Miki (infinitely more awkward times) and go to abducting Rin after her last exam.

"Oh, hey, Mikuo—whoa!" I snatched Rin up onto my back (don't ask me how; I'm still wondering myself) because, you know, bridal style is so overused, and stole her away into my car. "Where are we going…?" she asked warily as I started up the car. Luki and Luka had already gone on.

I ignored her question and replaced it with my own: "Did you find one of these—" I pulled out the number notecard from my pocket "—anytime today?"

"Um, yeah. One fell out of my math exam and my teacher thought I was cheating, so it took me fifteen minutes of exam time to explain myself, meaning I failed even worse than I would originally have," she answered with distaste. "You didn't answer my question."

"And yet, you answered mine. So who is this VY2 guy or whatever?

"Just a friend I met freshman year. _Where_ are we going?" she repeated.

"I want his hair," I went on, ignoring her. This was a fun game. "But really. Just a 'friend'? Tch. Yeah, right."

"Okay, so maybe he was my boyfriend a couple years ago. So what? We decided the friend route was the better option. Answer my freaking question!"

"So _that's_ why you two freaked out so much at my comment. Very interesting, indeed. So. Was he any good? You know, at that 'boyfriend' stuff?"

"The hell? Like I would tell YOU that!"

"Of course you would. I'm your bfffffl, remember?"

"Okay, _what_ do all of those f's stand for?"

"Hm. Let me think… And I noticed you stopped asking where we were going."

"I know the way to my best friend's house, Mikuo."

"But is she your bfffffl?"

"Not until I know what it means!"

"Let's see… In your case, it's 'best freaking friends f***ing fantastically for life'." See what I did there? Censorship!

"… Mikuo, we've never f***ed before." I did it again! Oh, I am so good at this.

"Oh, but we will. You'll see. And it'll be fantastic."

"You're such a freak."

"Yes, but I'm your freak."

0o0o0

**Wow. I managed to write 2800 words without a single thing happening. I should really start leading on to the girl that Mikuo's going to end up with. And, like, give her more backstory. BONDING TIME. Dude, seriously. I should do that next chapter…. Now….. how to do it creatively…. OH I got it. S'ALL GOOD, GAIZ.**

**But really. You, like, know who he's gonna end up with, right? I'd be kind of sad if you didn't… and a little confused.**

**Thanks for reading, and please review~! :DD**


	8. Twelve Inches

**BTW, since I've had a couple people ask me, I drew the new cover for this story a couple days ago. XD LOVE that new image feature! Here's the full-size image for anyone who's interested. sexywhales. deviantart #/d52 gf65 no spaces**

**WHOOPS. Forgot to reply to anonymous reviews last time. I'll make sure to do that at the end of this chapter. ^^;;**

**You know, the usual sexual references and language warning, paired with a disclaimer about not owning Vocaloid.**

0o0o0

TiNaF

Chapter 7: Twelve Inches

0o0o0

"We're here!" Rin announced as we headed toward the staircase leading to the third floor. We entered the study room, which was still covered in rubble from the breaking of the fourth wall, armed with our retarded little number cards.

"Alright. Who has the first number?" Miki asked.

"I do," Luka said. "It's seven."

"Wait, why is Miki here? She didn't get one of these," I wondered.

"I helped you find yours! Besides, I wanna know what's in this thing, too. It's not every day that you stumble across a plot case just lying around asking, pleading to be messed with!" she insisted. Everything is a sexual reference with this girl.

"Oh, whatever. Second number is five," I declared

So we went around the circle and Luka carefully entered the number 7526800234 into the number lock thing. We all stared at her expectantly

"Okay, I'm going to try to open it. Are we ready for this?"

"Yes, yes. Just hurry up and open it already," Luki whined. "The anticipation is killing me."

"Okay, okay!" she said. She tried opening the plotcase. Once. Twice. Thrice. "It won't budge."

Everyone let out the breath they'd been subconsciously holding. "Ugh, seriously?" I complained. "Can I try?" It'll make me feel better."

"Psh. Be my guest," Luka muttered.

Sure enough, it would not open, no matter how many sexual noises I made while trying to do so.

"Screwit," I alleged, pushing the thing away from me.

"It didn't work…" Miki trailed off, sounding dejected.

"Well damn," Rin said. "I guess I should go home, then. Nothing else to do but sleep. Plus my mom is probably wondering what's taking so long. Bye, guys." Rin rose and left the room for a few seconds before coming back with a realization. "Mikuo, my car is at the school."

I sighed. "Luki, I need 100 bucks."

"What the hell, dude? I don't have to give you money."

"Oh yes you do. I drove your ass down to Atlanta and I've been driving your sister's best friend around all day. You owe me."

"Oh, yeah. You made me pay for gas," he mumbled, fumbling around for his wallet. "Here. Shut up and take my money." He handed me five twenty's.

"Much obliged."

"Well, aren't you two just the nicest gentlemen," Rin observed.

"Indeed we are! Why, thank you for noticing!" I exclaimed.

"I'm thirsty. You have anything to drink around here, Luki?" Miki demanded.

"You have legs. Go look in one of the seven refrigerators we have in this house," Luki retorted.

"That's not a very nice way to speak to your girl toy," Luka remarked.

"No, I'm simply giving her permission to freely roam the kitchens of our house. That's, like, a legitimate step toward a healthy, male-dominated relationship."

Miki started laughing. "Hah, Luki, that's funny. But we all know that these—" she pointed to her breasts "—dominate you in this relationship."

Luki didn't reply, either because he didn't want to admit she was right, or he was thinking about Miki's chest. Knowing Luki, it was probably the latter of the two. Plus, I was thinking about Miki's chest, so surely the dude that had seen more than a flash was lost forever.

"Mikuo, are you taking me to my car, um, today?" Rin stated impatiently.

"Huh? Oh, right. That. Well I guess we have to go, then. See you guys later," I called, rising to go down the billions of stairs leading to my retarded car. Holy damn, I hate my car.

"Oh, um, thanks for the rides, I guess," Rin said as we made it outside. Dang, it was fucking hot out here.

"Sure, sure," I replied nonchalantly. "I've been abducting you against your will, anyway."

"Well, maybe not completely against my will," she muttered, barely audible.

"What was that?" I teased.

"Nothing. I didn't say anything."

"Sure you didn't. Come on, I totally heard you."

"What?"

"What?"

"What?"

"What?"

"What what?"

"Fine then."

"Oh, gawd," Rin fretted.

"What?"

"We sound like an old married couple."

"… Well shit."

"Exactly."

0o0o0

Okay, so instead of boring myself to death by recalling all of the dialogue exchanged in the relatively short drive back to the school, I'll just tell you the important things. Rin apparently had an older brother named Len or something that had already graduated from a four-year college and was going into medical school to become an anesthesiologist. Oh my gosh. I can't believe I spelled anesthesiologist correctly. Also, Rin's dad's job caused him to go out of town for, like, two-week periods of time at least once a month so the house was usually relatively quiet. Rin's mom taught elementary school. I told Rin about my unique family situation and she kind of freaked out and started asking a million questions and apologizing for things that weren't her fault. You know the usual stuff. Then we got to the school and she seemed, I don't know, almost reluctant to leave.

I stopped the truck. "…I'm gonna… go get my car now," she stammered. "See ya."

"Yeah, see you." I looked at her for three more seconds to see if I could turn this into an uncomfortable situation, and, low and behold, it worked. She proceeded to slowly open the door and creep outside. I waited for her to take a few steps before going home.

0o0o0

Went home. Fell asleep. Woke up at seven a.m. AsdfghjklSEMICOLON. Good thing I'd studied two days ago, but still. At least today I had time to stare at a plate and pretend to eat breakfast instead of scrounging to get dressed and all that jazz. If not eating breakfast makes you fat, I fear what I would look like any thinner than I was… Oh gawd I'd be, like, Luki.

Nope. Never eating breakfast.

Went to school. Took tests. Tralala. All that fancy shmancy shit. After my last exam, however, Yu came up to me and apparently had a question or something, so of course I'm all like "Wtf, fool? Da hail you want wit me?" but I'm totally lying because, you know, I don't talk like an angry black lady out loud.

"Hey there, Mikuo. I have a question to ask of you," Yu stated like he was trying to be better than me, but in a very, very subtle way. Ain't no one messes with Mikuo without my noticing. Ain't no one…

"Ask away," I allowed.

"I heard from Rin and Luka that you guys are doing some sort of Florida thing, and I want in so I don't have to gouge my eyes out from boredom or anything. But they said something about you being the most authoritative and defensive about making decisions."

"Holy crap how does everyone know you except me? Whatever; can you buy your own food?"

"Um, yeah?" he said in a way that was more like a question than an affirmation.

"Then I don't care what the hell you do."

"Well, that was much easier than Luka led me to believe it would be."

I laughed, "Haha. I'm totally keeping my eye on Yu, bitch."

He kinda stared at me for a moment. "That's totally not intimidating," he said trying not sound SCARED OUT OF HIS PANTS. Jkjk. No I'm not.

"Glad to see we understand each other. Text Rin for the details or something. I gotta get home and sleep." Yeah. I know. I got twelve hours of sleep last night. I shouldn't be tired. But I was. Must have a low blood pressure or something…

I turned around and walked toward the front so I could drag my tired ass back home.

So I'm there, upstairs, in my outrageously messy room that my sister apparently considered a biohazard of sorts. Hey, at least it didn't smell bad, since I didn't, like, have rotting food hidden under my mattress. I never ate in my room because my house had a tendency to get these awesome ant infestations, which was always fun, especially in my living space. I stripped off my shirt before collapsing onto my bed since everything is so hot during the summer and all when my phone buzzes. Text from Miku.

From: boobless

Hey, jrkface, im coming home from a friends at

2. Let me n the house

To: boobless

Yeah, whatever. Ring the doorbell or something.

And learn how to spell; holy fuck. Gah, don't

say that word.

Less than two seconds passed, I swear…

From: boobless

I no how 2 spell! And I hear dat wrd all the

time. I go 2 middle school, Kuo. God.

To: boobless

That's exactly why this is a problem. Now stfu.

I'm sleeping.

From: boobless

Didn't u sleep like 12 hours last nite? Wutevr.

Go sleep, lazee.

Oh my god the spelling horrors…

0o0o0

I had nightmares about my sister's texting speech in my however-long nap. It was freaking terrifying. I woke up gasping when the doorbell rang. Here came the mini she-devil herself. She seriously needed some training in the art of the Grammar Nazi.

The doorbell rang again as I made my way down the stairs. "I'm coming! God!" I yelled at the foyer.

I flung the door open and stared at the blonde in front of me.

"… Miku, you dyed your hair," I said, then narrowed my eyes at her. "And you got contacts…"

Miku blinked at me for a moment then sputtered," Dude, I'm Rin."

"Holy crap you are! How did you find my house?"

"I followed the trail of squirrel blood. Why is your hair so messy?"

"Oh, this is just my sex hair."

"Oh, I, ahm, sorry, did I interrupt something…?"

I gawkily stared at her for a few seconds before bursting out with laughter. "Oh my god, no," I mused. "That's just my term for messy hair. Wow you looked confused." I looked down and found that I was still half-naked and had subconsciously started leaning on the doorframe. "It's probably because I'm shirtless or something. Amiright?"

"Little bit. Anyway, um, hold this!" Rin directed, shoving a gigantic purse at me.

"Why…?" Lol she was totally making me cover up for her to talk.

"I have to ask you a question! Actually, it's not really a question, it's a direction. You are taking me to the mall to go swimsuit shopping."

"That sounds a little inappropriate. Um. Why…?" I repeated.

"Because you have 100 dollars and I need a swimsuit."

"How the hell is that a reason?"

"It doesn't matter because you'll do it anyway."

"And how do you know that?"

She stared at my face, then looked lower, then at my face again.

"Yeah okay I'll go get dressed." I started to turn after returning Rin's purse.

"Wait!"

I stopped.

"Keep the sex hair."

I smirked and continued my stroll up the stairs.

One shirt, cell phone, and wallet later I was heading back out. I texted my sister so she'd know the door was open and all, though I contemplated keeping it locked anyway… nah. I'm not that mean.

I emerged from the staircase once again and Rin shoved her keys at me. "Also, you're driving and we're listening to K-pop."

"You're lucky I like both of those things or I would be very upset with you for being so bossy," I noted, getting into the driver's seat of Rin's car. It felt cool inside. Curse her for having air conditioning.

She climbed into the passenger side as I turned the ignition. "I'll also need you to help me choose something, and don't be a pervert. I hate those little string bikinis. They make me look like a whore."

"Why not just have us make out while we're at it? Gosh," I complained. Okay, maybe it wasn't really a complaint per say.

"I-I'd never say that!" She stuttered. Lol this chick. "Oh, you have a…" she trailed off as she roused her fingers through my bangs "an exceptionally retarded piece of your hair in the middle of your face. Don't worry, I fixed it.

"Just don't go messing up my sex hair, now."

"I didn't mess it up! I just made it more… artful. Now, are you going to drive?"

"Only if you stop touching my face," I murmured, pulling out of my driveway in Rin's pretty little air-conditioned car.

"… You know what really bothers me?" Rin started. "That freaking plot case. It's, just, so weird. And I can't believe that we all would have found one of those cards and it didn't open. Something's up with that…"

"I bet some dumbass said the wrong number. Or if you have to put the combination in backwards or something…"

"Maybe. Either way, it's weird. What's it supposed to be, even?"

"Maybe it's a detailed account of everyone's sex lives, locked safely away behind the fourth wall where no wandering eyes will find it, you know, case someone did something really stupid and regrettable that they don't want anyone else to know."

"… As plausible as that doesn't sound, fuck no."

"Oh, come on, that was a totally legitimate guess," I insisted.

"Not even, Mikuo, not even. What? Have you done something really stupid and regrettable that you don't want anyone else to know about?"

"Hell yes! This one time at Comic-con…" Lying, btw.

"Tch. Yeah."

"Hey, I'm sure you did something, too, you crazy teenager, you."

"Considering I haven't made the mistake of being attracted to you, I'd say my slate is clean."

"Oh, ouch, Rin. That hurts. RIGHT in the ego."

"Ack! Forgot to turn on the K-pop!"

0o0o0

The rest of the ride went on with us blasting a remix of Bonamana and Lucifer put together and me dancing at all of the stoplights. The looks on all of the other drivers' faces, OH MY GOSH. It was golden.

So Rin had to direct me through the mall to some department store or whatever and I would have felt totally awkward being the only dude in the section except that I had lost the ability to actually feel that emotion a long time ago.

"What do you think of… this?" Rin asked, holding up something covered in flower prints.

"Hm?" I looked up from my cell phone. I was playing Unicorn Dash. "Ew. That looks like something my grandmother wore in the 60's," I retorted.

"But this style is coming back in! Gah, whatever. What about this?" She held up some other thing that I could not describe without questioning my sexuality.

"Rin, you and I both know that you are about five chest sizes too small for that thing."

"Oh, shut up, you."

I sighed. "Just admit you need something with twelve inches of padding to look attractive so you can stop picking up all of this shitty crap."

"… Fine, but I'm still trying this one!" she announced, holding up the grandma print triumphantly.

She was in the dressing room FOR. EVER. Like, it'd been ten minutes since she went in. This was ridiculous. I'd beaten my high score, like, twenty times by now.

"My god, Rin! Did you get lost in there?"

"Shut up! Nothing looks good!"

"Holy crap, at least hold conversation or something. I am so bored.

"Hold on!" she yelled. I heard the door unlock.

"Oh, thank Jesus," I murmured. Rin emerged in this yellow/orange/green plaid patterned bikini thing. I looked her ov—damn! Those legs are sexy. She turned to the side a bit and I tried not to stare at her ass for too long.

"Twelve inches of padding?" I asked.

"Maaaybeeee… But, well, does it look decent?"

"All I have to say is 'I told you so.'"

"Shut up…" she said angrily before closing the door again.

She put her normal clothes back on apparently then emerged all not naked and junk, [unfortunately], so I threw my wallet at her and told her to pay.

"What, you can't get up there and do it for me?" she teased.

"This how you treated Yu or something?" I threw back.

"Oh, no. I was much nicer to him."

"That makes me more special, right?"

She winked at me. "Not in the slightest."

0o0o0

**HOPE I DON'T HAVE TOO MANY TYPOS. WHOOPS.**

**DANG Rin is annoying me. IN DENIAL. YOU KNOW YOU LOVE MIKUO. HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE MIKUO? IT IS IMPOSSIBLE NOT TO LOVE MIKUO.**

**Lol and I totally stole the "sex hair" thing from one of my bffffffffl's aka mai waifu. Funniest thing I heard all week. XDXD**

**But hey, at least I feel like I'm developing more relationships now. I really need to make myself like Yuuma more. Right now he just seems too much like a rival and a nuisance. He's /almost/ as cool as Mikuo, which is a problem because Mikuo is sadistic…**

**WELL ANYWAY.**

**ANONYMOUS PPLZ!**

**AliasStars: You never cease to amuse me. XDXD**

**random chick: Sorry for a delayed response! And I'm guessing that by now, you know that Princess Buttfacebooblesssassypants the First is indeed Miku. Lol.**

**By the way, I'd like to thank ALL of my reviewers for the sympathy last chapter. ^^; I had a really sucky week, but I should be back to normal! Also a warning: I'll be going out of town for a week, but apparently I'll still have internet SO I have no idea how updating is going to work so PLEASE bear with me. **

**Thanks for reading!**


	9. I Have NO IDEA what I'm Doing

**Okay so I've had a few people ask me where I got my new story cover picture, and actually, I drew it, so if you want to see the full size image, just check out my deviantART. XD Username "sexywhales". I'd give you a link buuuut that's kind of a pain on this site. ^^;;**

**Also, I'm sure you're wondering what took me so long on this piece of crap. Answer is simple. I'm on vacation with limited internet and this chapter is about 4000 words long. Yeah. 14 pages on Word. Holy crap. And I STILL haven't gotten to the beach... **

**Sorry if the editing on this looks weird or anything. Everything got jacked up without my computer and I had to go back and re-italicize all my words and crap. SO FRKN ANNOYING. Ugh.**

**WARNING! Language, sexual themes, and references to alcohol. I do not own Vocaloid.**

0o0o0

TiNaF

Chapter 8: You Know that Meme where there's a Dog Doing Something Weird and they're just like "I have no Idea what I'm Doing."? Yeah. That's Me.

"... And you have extra underwear?

"Yes, mother."

"And you packed clean socks?"

"I don't know why I'd need them at the beach, but yes, I have socks."

"Don't pretend I don't know what you teenage boys do in your rooms all night."

"Holy crap, mom! I don't do that!"

"Sure, sweetie. And you have deodorant and a toothbrush and toothpaste and spare contacts and solution and your glasses and-"

"Yes, mom. You asked me this an hour ago and, believe it or not, I haven't decided to burn anything since then."

"Oh, you're such a good boy." She patted me on the head like I was six or something.

"Geeze. Since when are you suck a crazy, overprotective mom?" I asked.

"Since I was dumb enough to let my children go to Florida with minimal supervision."

"What, should I have Mr. K. come with us?" I kidded.

"Something tells me that would make matters _worse_ rather than better."

"There will be a very big, very well-paid staff there to keep an eye on us. You need not worry."

Mom sighed. "Oh-kay. But you keep an eye out for Miku, for me. Don't let boys even look at her, much less touch her. The last thing I need is a pregnant thirteen-year-old."

"Don't worry, my mere presence scares away all interested parties within a three-mile radius."

"Thank you. And, also, please don't _create_ an pregnant 13-year-olds, for I fear that would be a even worse problem."

"... I'm leaving now, Mom."

"And no wild drinking parties, either!"

"Oh, come on, Mom. You know I don't drink." _That_ often...

"I don't want a drop of the stuff getting near Miku, you hear me?"

"She's already annoying. I wouldn't do anything that could possibly make that worse."

"I know, I know."

"Okay, This is me, getting in the car now," I said, slowly scooting away from her.

"Wait! I just need one more hug!"

"No, mom, just don't," I said, holding up my hands. Fifteen hugs was enough for one day. I managed to escape my mother long enough for me to yell at Miku to get her nonexistent ass down here, and of course, Mom had to give _her_one of those ten-minute speeches filled with girl-words that I didn't want to hear, so I waited in my craptastic excuse for a truck. It was, like, nine in the morning and we had to get to Luki's before we could actually head down. It was a _ridiculous_ fourteen-hour drive to Miami so we'd scheduled one stop near the middle of the trip in some fancy hotel in, like, Albany or something. I don't know cities in Georgia.

Six hours today (it was a Thursday, by the way) and eight hours tomorrow. Lovely.

Miku came into the truck in a daze. "Mom gave me 'the talk' again. You know, I learn something new every time she gives me that," she marveled.

"Please feel free to never tell me what she tells you ever in the progression of our lives," I stated.

"Gladly."

We were at Luki's house in ten minutes. I only sped a little bit. Not too much.

"Hey, you're finally here. So, who sits where?" Miki asked, straight to the point.

Yup. Of course we were the last ones there.

"I don't care _where_ the hell you guys sit, as long as I get to drive something fast with good insurance," I replied.

"I knew you'd say that," Luki huffed with a smirk. "So I got the convertible out."

I smiled so wide I was sure my face would break. I _loved_the convertible. It was silver and shiny and had the best coverage of all the cars. Oh yeah, and it was Luki's. Luki had two cars, the bastard, one for school and another made to go fast and look sexy. I loved this hot hunk of metal. I got excited just thinking about it. (Lol. Are you allowed to say "boner" at this rating?) I saw that Luka's car (she was the youngest so the poor girl only got one.) was the other one being used, but I didn't pay it much attention because it was parked right next to MY BABY. Very distracting

"Luki, can... can I hug my car?" I asked, claiming that hot ass as my own. I didn't wait for an answer and went ahead to embrace the side of the car. So beautiful... *sniff* Such pretty white leather interior and gray dashboard with built-in GPS and all-digital display. GAWD this car turned me on. "If you have ever slept with Miki in this car, please don't tell me about it, so it can keep its virgin beauty that is the image of love itself."

"... Kay," he said.

I really, really like this car.

"Alright, I'm loading up luggage. Whoever the hell wants to risk getting into my car-NOT you, Miku-" I enforced, pointing at her, "hurry the hell up and get in because I'm leaving in thirty seconds."

My bags were in the trunk of that awesome thing in a heartbeat. Now, we count. 29... 28... 27...

There was lots of commotion coming from behind me. I saw Luki get into the passenger seat beside me, which meant he was labeled official phone-keeper, and he gave me the okay to go before I hit 18.

"I'd like for everyone to wear a seatbelt in here, please, for I have gotten more than one speeding ticket in my lifetime," I called, starting to slowly back out of the driveway. I'd try to stay within normal speeds until I got out of town. Then it's fast-lane for 6 straight hours... not including lunch. Dang. I was going to be hungry soon. That was a legitimate excuse to drive fast, wasn't it?

I got out on the road, not speeding yet mind you, and decided to ask who I got for my lucky passengers. "Who was dumb enough to climb into my back seat?" I yelled, 'cause it's kinda loud in a convertible.

"Me and Rin!" I heard Miki inform.

"Sexy. Well, Rin and Miki, we are going to have some very special, _quality_bonding time on the way to Miami. I hope you came prepared for it. Luki, what kind of music do you have in here?"

"Everything," he said.

"Oh, good. Surprise me."

So Luki hooked up his ipod and put it on shuffle so we were blasting the weirdest music ever as we sped down the interstate. Really. Luki's got some strange shit on his ipod. One moment it was J-Rock, the next it was the Shia Labeouf song, and then all the music you hear at those drinking parties disguised as school dances.

Oh yeah, and we stopped for lunch about halfway through, but nothing interesting happened so I'll just skip that.

Now, here we are, a huge, empty stretch of road before us, just _begging_ to be driven on recklessly.

"How fast can this baby go?" I questioned at Luki.

"I've never tried past 100."

"I think we need to change that," I said, a wicked grin crawling across my face.

"W-wait wha-"Rin was cut off by my sudden acceleration. Haha. That sounded inappropriate. Hahaha...

Psh. This thing did 80, 90, 100 miles per hour easy.

"You only went this fast in this thing?" I yelled through Rin's scream.

"Rin, you are freaking out way too much. He's only doing 100," I heard Miki shout.

"Actually, I'm up to 120, now," I yelled back.

Rin replied with another scream. Her vocal cords were going to be shot. "_Miiikuuooooooo, slow down before we DIIIIEEEEEE_," she shrieked.

I did that, but only because this thing was burning gas like crazy and I_really_ didn't want to have to buy more. I looked back and saw Rin was, like, white.

"Damn you, bastard! Damn you! I'm changing cars tomorrow!" she threatened.

"Whatever you want, babe," I said, though it kind of stung a bit. Between Miki's chest and Rin's ass, we had a complete hot chick back there... and another kinda normal boring looking one.

0o0o0

Another three hours passed. It was a bit slow but there was music and the whole fact that we were in Luki's car so I was okay. I pulled that orgasm on wheels in front of this quite large hotel, of course, it was under the Megurines, after all.

"Let the valet take care of the car. Staff knows we're coming so we can go ahead to the room to hang out for the evening," Luki explained. I assumed Luka knew the same speech since their car wasn't even in sight yet and Luki showed no intention of waiting. We lost them back when I was breaking the law by about 50 miles per hour.

So we go up_twenty-thousand_(okay maybe it was only sixteen or something) floors and get to this suite. There's a living room there with a wonderful view of a parking lot and some kitchen-y place with four doors coming off that probably led to bedrooms of sorts.

"I have no idea how many beds there are, so we'll figure out rooming and crap when everyone else gets here," Luki said.

"Wooooow this place is awesome, Luki," Rin commented.

"I see a kitchen. Someone needs to make me a samich. I'm starving as hell," I complained.

"Oh, shut up, man whore," Luki hissed.

"Man whore? What's that about?" Rin asked.

"Huh, don't get me _started_ on this guys summer flings. Though, I have to say I really liked that one Korean chick, SeeU, was it? Wish you kept her around longer," Luki reminisced.

"What? I need in on these 'Mikuo's sex life' things. So tell me; what's your favorite-" I stopped Miki before she could finish.

"Don't finish that question. Oh my god, Miki, I am not telling you about that. For the record, I think I already know too much about yours," I replied.

"You're no fun," Miki pouted.

Just then, Luka burst in looking to be a bit annoyed.

"Mikuo you are so lucky I didn't BREAK YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S FREAKING NOSE OFF," she growled.

"Why? What'd she do?" I asked.

"SHE TALKED. Made a new bfffffl out of Rin's sister, too. Goddammit."

"Please tell me bfffffl means something different for them than it does for Mikuo and I," Rin fretted.

"What's yours? Mine's [something that wouldn't be permitted inside a rated-T fanfiction]," Luka said. Mmmm censorship.

"Whoa, this is what I walk into after a six-hour drive? I feel like I'm missing something here," Yu remarked.

"Oh, you know. We were just talking about all of the sex you're not having," Luka retorted, but smoothly.

"Now I feel like _I'm_ missing something," I said. "So, we going to figure out rooms or what?"

"Sounds good to me!" Miku chimed in. I wonder how long she'd been listening... whoops.

We looked around and found that there were six beds total, all boring and white; two rooms had single king-size beds and the others each had two queen-size. Dang, this place was fancy.

"So I guess we should figure out who doesn't mind sleeping together," Luka began.

My hand shot up immediately. "I'll sleep with you, Luka!" I said.

"Preferably of the same _gender._" She scowled. "Something tells me these two twerps over here-"

"Hey!" Neru cut in with a half-hearted glare. I was sure that they knew each other anyway, though, I guess it was to be expected.

"... Anyway," Luka continued, "They can share a bed so that just leaves us. I guess I can share with Luki if I have to... Oh. Does anyone here snore?" No one spoke up. "Well, I guess that's one less thing to worry about."

"I'll share with Luki!" Miki said enthusiastically. "And don't worry, I know the rules."

"What rules?" Miku questioned with... curiosity.

"Doesn't matter. They don't apply to you," Luka affirmed quickly.

Just then the luggage decided to come so we had to pause the conversation for a few minutes.

"So with half of us taken care of, I guess I'll just go with Rin and Mikuo can man up and join Yuuma," Luka concluded.

"Tch. I assure Yu, I'm not the one that will need to man up in this relationship," I scoffed. LOL Yu puns.

"Just play nice and don't, I don't know, eat each other," Luka sighed.

"Can I move in, now?" Rin asked. "I've been standing here for ten minutes and my ass is still sore from being in a TERRIFYING SPEEDING CAR for hours and hours upon end."

Well, what a great Idea. If only I'd thought of that. It was less than five minutes before everyone was back, sitting and chatting in the living room. It was about 4:30.

"Miiiikuuoooooooo." Oh, gosh. It was the voice. Miku's asking for something ridiculous voice. "Will you give me a neck rub?"

"No."

"But pleeeaase? You have magic fingers!"

Heheheh._ You have no idea, sister._ "No."

"Oh, but Mikuo, they're _magical_," Miki enthused.

"Shaddup."

"Come on. I don't have Mom here to do it for me and my neck huuuuuuurtssss."

Holy crap that was getting annoying. "I will only do it if you will stop whining and dragging every word out three miles long. You're driving me _insane._"

"Yay!" she exclaimed.

"Wow, Miku. Your brother sure spoils you," Rin commented.

"Rotten to the core," I muttered... "Miku, would you_ please_ refrain from making sexual noises while I'm doing this? I feel like I'm in some kinky incest story and that idea is a little freaky to think about."

"But it's so gooooooood."

"Omigod I told you to stop doing that."

"I don't know, Mikuo. With all of your sister's approval, here, I might need a massage myself," Rin remarked.

"Get in line. I think I'm starting a fucking business... Oh, goddammit, don't say that word," I said.

"Say what? I didn't hear anything," Miku played along.

"Anyone here hungry?" Luki called.

"You are," I shot. "Probably because you only eat plants. No fat stored to feed your STARVING muscles."

"Stfu. I'm ordering room service. Anyone else want something? Speak now or forever hold your peace."

I totally ignored whoever answered; my previous hunger had been forgotten. A few more hours passed and eventually everyone decided they were tired enough to head to sleep. Except me. I hung out in Luki's room. I think Miki was taking a shower or something.

We were talking about some cheesy movie we'd both seen on, I don't know, Nickelodeon or something.

I was in the middle of a rant. "It was so cheesy you could have spread it on a cracker... Hey, go to the kitchen and make me a cheese sandwich, Luki."

"Mikuo, make your own damn sandwich. Nasty solidified cow semen," Luki muttered.

"Cows are female, give milk..."

"OH YOUR GOD, MIKUO. THAT IS SO SEXIST. BULLS SHOULD BE ABLE TO MAKE MILK, TOO."

"Dude, that's just disgusting to even think about," I scoffed.

"SEXIST, MIKUO. SEXIST.'

"WHATEVER, LUKI. Where's my sandwich?"

"Of all the fucking-MAKE YOUR OWN SANDWICH"

"What? I have to _work_? Luki, this relationship is not going to work for me."

"Dammit, Mikuo. Learn how to get off your ass and do things," Luki hissed. "Man, you need to get laid. Gahd."

"How does this relate to making my sandwich? Whatever, sure. When's Luka free again?"

"NOT with my sister!"

"Tch. Then who?"

"You've been flirting with Rin like there's no tomorrow. Just remember, no sex in the hotel rooms. Dad's rule." He paused. "And trust me. He knows."

"Is he, like, magical? LUKI ARE YOU FAIRY OFFSPRING?" I gasped. "And get your crazy fairy balls straight, dude; I don't like her."

"... You're a dumbass. Like, a huge dumbass. Get out of my room, I fear your dumbass is contagious."

"Does the love that I bought from you via surplus amounts of fried potato mean nothing to you?"

"Oh, the fucking french fries. DUDE, gtfo my room. Get a girlfriend. I'm going to go have not sex with Miki."

"Dude I have seen that girl naked. It is impossible to have not sex with that piece of woman. I guess I'll just go hang _with your sister,_ then. See what she's up to,"

"My sister is sleeping, like a normal human being."

"Your sister has too much chesticles to be normal."

Luki sighed, placing his face in his palms. "Whatever you do, just _please_ promise me that my sister will never become one of your 'summer mistresses'."

"I wouldn't do that, man."

"Good. Gtfo."

"Fine, go not fuck your not girlfriend. I'll just go be UNWANTED."

"THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT YOU ARE."

Holy crap that was the longest conversation I've ever written. I need a break.

.

.

.

Okay so I left the room kind of thinking about the important parts of that conversation, you know, normal people stuff. Like Rin. I... I don't like Rin. Psh. Well, she's okay, I guess. A good friend. Yeah. That sounds believable. I mean, it's not like it could ever be more than that. No way.

Damn, I'm bad at lying to myself.

Alright let's think about this logically for a moment. What's so great about Rin anyway? I mean, she's fun to mess with. And she's kinda funny, I guess, when she tries to be. Ant interesting. And she's not morbidly obese or anything. Actually, she's kind of the opposite. And her _legs_... oh shit.

I think I may like this chick.

Holy crap where is my goddamn sandwich.

My whole mini tirade in my mind n junk had occurred in Yu's and my room. This guy slept like a brick. I was lucky he didn't snore, too. I cannot _stand_ snoring. So after I discovered myself (you know, regarding the sandwich and all) I crept out of the room. And almost fell over.

There she was. In the kitchen. In front of God and everyone.

She looked up; must've heard me come out. "Oh, hey, Mikuo," Rin said. "What brings you here?"

"Eh. Luki refused to make me a sandwich because he'd rather have not sex with his not girlfriend so then I got kicked out and I realized I was still hungry. You?"

"Um, couldn't sleep. Making tea. Though I feel like I should have so much more to say after your killer explanation."

"I know right? So you can't sleep? That's unfortunate. What's keeping you up?" I walked over and leaned on a countertop across from her.

She kinda stared at me for a second. What? Was I naked again? I rolled my shoulders and felt a t-shirt so that certainly wasn't it. And I was _sure_ I had pants on. "Just been thinking too much," she eventually held.

"'Bout wut?" I searched lazily.

"Things."

"Oh, come on. You're being too vague. Go ahead. Tell me about what kinds of deep, life-altering 'things' have been keeping you up after a traumatic day like this one," I encouraged.

"Well, honestly? It's totally embarrassing," she avoided. "But..."

"But?"

"Okay, I was thinking about dating," she admitted.

"Dating? Damn, I hate dating. You have to be nice to someone_ all the time._ And on purpose. Disgusting topic. No wonder it's kept you up all night."

"Yeah, well, I haven't dated anyone for about two years."

"Since Yu, right?"

"Um, yeah. I can't believe you actually remembered that, really."

"I remember all kinds of useless information when I'm tired. Hell, I remembered your exam schedule."

"That's... odd."

"If by odd, you mean impressive, then certainly. Anyway, go back to what you were saying."

"You seem awfully interested."

"Dude I'm an extroverted, interpersonal learning, people person. This is what I live for. Why else do you think I slept through all of APUSH except the social history?"

"I wouldn't know! I wasn't in your class!"

"Ugh. Continue, please."

"I can't! It's too embarrassing!"

"How is it embarrassing?" I demanded.

"Because you're a boy!"

"Then friendzone me! Oh my god the curiosity is killing me." I cannot believe I just_ told_ someone to friendzone me for the purpose of learning personal information.

"Whoa you must be desperate. Okay, um, dude, you're the best friend a girl could ever have!"

"Ouch. Still stings. Okay go." I only speak the truth.

"Okay, um, so Luka has been pestering me lately about me needing to 'get back out there' or whatever and it's starting to get tooootally annoying."

"Totally, huh? Well _do_ you want to start dating again?"

"I have no idea!" she exclaimed, but quiet enough so it wouldn't wake everyone up. "And it's so awkward since Luka's all like 'Maybe you'll find a nice piece of ass candy at the beach.' or 'You still have any feelings for Yuuma?" or "Damn, girl, you need to get laid.'"

"That last one's true," I slipped in. Funny how both Megurines have said the same thing to each of us.

She glared at me for a second. "So anyway, it's not like i feel any pressure to start anything 'cause, like, Luka's always like this, but I'm starting to wonder if maybe she's right."

"... Wow you talk fast when you're stressed. And you sound like a valley girl. Kind of."

"Well, yeah, I grew up in California up through middle school. And that was not the response I was expecting from le friendzone."

"Really? California? It sounds so much like the girls here, I never would have guessed," I observed. "Oh, I think your water's boiling. Been boiling, actually." Totally ignored the second statement. Trololol.

"Damn," Rin cursed. "Well at least I feel a little better after that rant." She yawned, putting some sort of tea bag into her cup.

"What kind of tea are you making?" I asked, remembering I still had a sandwich to conjure up. Where the hell was the bread here...

"Green tea with vanilla. Want some?"

"Nah. I'm not big on green tea. I like white and red, not green."

"So picky," she remarked.

I couldn't find the bread so I just gave up on my sandwich. Wasn't worth the effort. "What, so you'll just drink, like, anything?"

"Just about. Except beer. I cannot_ stand_ the taste of that stuff." She shuddered.

"Oh, so we're talking about alcohol, now," I stated slyly. I leaned back on the table next to her. "So tell me; what's your favorite?"

"What the hell, Mikuo?" Rin laughed. "It's not like I've been around the world tasting alcoholic beverages."

"So what's the best thing that you've had?"

"Umm... I'd say dessert wines are the best. The less alcohol I can taste, the better. Okay, your turn."

"Me? I hate it all, but anything bubbly gets me tempted. I like the texture, I guess. Can liquids even have texture?"

"Hah. Sure they can," Rin affirmed, sipping some of her tea. "Ow, still hot," she observed, biting her lip.

"Hey, I wanna try something," I said, standing myself up again.

"Um, okay? What are you trying?"

I stayed quiet for a moment then moved closer to Rin. In reaction, she started to shift away. "No, don't lean away, I'm trying something," I directed, putting a hand on the middle of her back. She didn't flinch so that was good. Then I kissed her. Not any of that hot, fiery makeout crap. No, just... an experiment. I subconsciously hoped I didn't have disgusting breath or anything before pulling away (but considering I hadn't eaten since lunch I guessed I was okay.)

Rin looked a little dazed. "... Wut?" she said.

"Huh," I marveled before turning to walk away.

"Whoa, wait. You're just going to kiss me and walk away?" she sputtered.

"Yeeeaaah."

"Y-you can't do that!"

"Yeah I can. I just did. And I was just experimenting, anyway."

"Then w-what are the results?"

I pondered for a moment. "I dunno. Good night!"

"You're horrible at staying in the friendzone," she scoffed.

"Yeah. So I've been told," I called over my shoulder.

Yeeee. There was no way she was getting to sleep now.

0o0o0

**FINALLY that kissing scene you guys have all been waiting for! Granted, it was only, like, a sentence long, BUT YOU FORGIVE ME RIGHT? I already have ideas for next chapter. I cannot BELIEVE I finished this thing up before midnight. I'm so talented.**

**Sooooooo getting to the beach next chapter. EXCITING. Can't wait to see everyone in their swimsuits, right? ;D Hahaha... haha... ha... shuddup.**

**I'M GONNA GO WATCH SHERLOCK NOW! Sorry, can't reply to mah anonymous pplz today but I DO read all my reviews so know that you are appreciated! However many of you there are... um... so... REVIEW PLZ? AND BAI NAO!**


	10. Frying Squirrels

**HEY GUYS THIS IS REALLY IMPORTANT.**

**I TOTALLY HATE MY USERNAME, SO I'M CHANGING IT SOON. New name will be **_**67Sexy-Whales42**_** I'm hoping that, ya know, people will still recognize me and junk… I guess I'll put little notes on all my stories or something. SO YEAH. **

**The language in this chapter is terrible. Just **_**terrible**_**. Kind of a usual thing though… So. I warned you. And there're references to alcohol… and sexual references. Also the usual.**

**SHUT UP AND READ MY [FREAKISHLY LONG] CHAPTER.**

0o0o0

TiNaF

**Chapter 9: Frying Squirrels **

0o0o0 I woke up in the morning.

No, was woken up.

No, was pounced on.

No, was brutally attacked by a giant, ninety-pound, teal-furred squirrel.

Should have hit it with the car while I had a chance.

"Miiikuuooooo!" she bellowed before _attacking_ me. Do squirrels bellow? I guess they do now.

I opened my eyes into slits and glared at her. "Miku," I rasped, "Get your tiny, pointy squirrel-parts off of me before I stick my tongue INTO YOUR EAR."

"Mikuo, that sounds dirty and unpleasant. Are you sure you'd want to put your tongue through such trauma?" I heard Yu yawn next to me. "On a more important note, are you taking a shower first or shall I?"

"Knock yourself out," I answered, trying to push Miku off of me, but her rodent claws had latched on to my arms. I started sticking my tongue out at Miku's face to scare her off. She continued to resist.

"Um, what are you guys doing?" I heard an unfamiliar voice sound. Oh. It must have been Neru's.

Miku still didn't move. This girl has no shame.

"Miku, let go of your brother," Neru deadpanned. "You'll catch diseases."

"Bad diseases, Miku. Very bad," I elaborated. I guess that prompted her to get off of me, that or she was just being a teenager and she HAD to have the approval of her friends or whatever. I don't care. As long as I got to breathe.

Damn, this morning was boring. And the car ride. Can I just skip to the beach? Oh, wait. Important stuff happened in the car. Kind of. If you count character back-story as important.

So Rin still stayed in my car after all of the incidents of the night before. And we left at like… eight in the morning. Something like that. It was way too early. Anyway, it was a couple hours after we crossed the border to Florida that Miki started talking. Well, she was talking the whole time, but at _this_ moment she started speaking to everyone.

"Okay, I didn't want to break into these until after we got there, but I am STARVING. Who else wants some rice crackers?" Miki announced.

"Wait, didn't want to break into them? What makes these rice crackers so special?" I returned.

"They're the ones I brought back from Japan, so ya know, they actually taste good. Japan knows its rice crackers."

"When were you in Japan?"

"Didn't anybody tell you where I was living before I came back here? I was over there for, like, seven years."

"Say something offensive in Japanese."

"Okay, um… おおかまじゃない?"*

"What?"

"ばかです."**

"Okay, you can stop now."

"ふふふふふ."***

"Luki, make your girlfriend shut up."

"Well, I would," he started, "but I can't exactly make out with her from the front seat. Unless Rin and I switched places, which would be very dangerous in a topless vehicle."

"Mikuo! Beach!" Rin yelled out of the blue, pointing diagonally. Beach? Yes! Finally reaching the coastline. Cliffs and water were so much more fun to drive next to than, well, trees. Especially in this car. Smelled _amazing_.

"We should have a picnic," I suggested, "on one of those overhangs next to the water."

"Yes!" Miki agreed loudly. "Let's park illegally and DO IT. I'll text Luka."

Soooo we did. Park illegally and have a picnic out of Miki's rice crackers, potato sticks covered in foreign substances, and various other snack foods that you couldn't get in America, or at least where I lived… stupid rednecks.

"Miki, please don't tell me whatever the fuck this is because it tastes delicious," Yu remarked.

"Oh that? It's just a rice cracker flavored like fermented bean snot," Miki replied cheerfully.

"Nope, not hungry anymore," Yu said.

"So, Luka," I began. "Had any luck with the plotcase yet?"

"Plotcase? What's a plotcase?" Yu asked. Why Yu have so many questions?

"I'll tell you in the car. And, no, I haven't had any luck with it. But I'm pretty sure some dumbass just switched the numbers. I brought the case, so we can try at the beach house," Luka answered.

"I can't believe you brought that thing," I commented. "But whatever. Maybe we can open it and the mystery of its contents won't bother me anymore."

"That sounds like a good excuse to get on the road to me," Luki sang, standing.

"You just want to make out with our girlfriend in the back," Rin retorted playfully.

"Ooh! I've graduated from girl toy to not girlfriend and all the way to regular girlfriend all in the course of two days!" Miki celebrated.

"Congratulations, Miki. You win the prize. Now take your weird food and get your ass in Luki's lap in the back," I directed monotonously.

"But… I thought you said no sex in Luki's car," she pondered.

"Fuck yes I did! I never gave you two permission to elope back there. Such perverts…" I uttered.

So we packed everything, well Miki did since she was the only one that had things to pack, and crossed the dangerous road back to my beautiful—I mean Luki's *cough*—beautiful car.

"Rin, you are now the new, official cell phone carrier. Isn't that lovely?" I mused, pulling my phone from my pocket and handing it to her.

"Wow, what a great perk to sitting in the front!" Rin rejoiced sarcastically. "You don't have, like, crotch germs on this thing do you?"

"Of course I do!" I exclaimed, pulling back out onto the road. "Though, if I were you, I'd be more afraid of Luki's pants germs that of mine. You might catch his vegetarian agnosticism."

"I didn't know that was contagious," Rin marveled.

"Damn, these hormones are killing me. So. Effing. Horny," Miki complained. Haha. Whoremones.

"I know that feel, bro," I agreed.

"I know, right?" Rin murmured.

"No, Rin," Luki said. "You're not supposed to say that in front of Mikuo. He'll hold that against you later."

"Tch. Mikuo doesn't scare me."

I casted a sidelong glance at her and smirked. "I should," I growled.

Funny how she didn't say anything after that.

"… Mikuo, you're scaring my sister's friends again."

0o0o0

No idea how much time passed, but it was, like, four when we got into Miami and traffic postponed us another half hour. BUT WE MADE IT. WE MADE IT TO THE MOTHERFUCKING BEACH.

Took long enough.

Okay, description time. About two miles of beach was private to the Megurine condominium district and there were only, oh, twenty condos total or something so it totally wasn't crowded. Plus, the one we were staying at was the family's private one, so it was huger with a larger space around it. The beach itself supposedly had a coral reef around it a couple hundred yards out, so the waves weren't too big. Sucks for surfing, but I was sure I'd find another place for that eventually, plus, swimming in rough ocean sucked ass. I also noticed some sexy tide pools and rock formations scattered about. You know what that means, right? Oh, yes. Nighttime hide and seek at the beach. Let's see how many arms we can break in two weeks.

Took forever to get everything into the frekking house. Miki and her bags. Seriously. And yet, somehow, Rin, _a girl,_ managed to pack lightest of us all, fitting everything into one bag and a purse. Those stereotypes about women packing—I no longer believe them. And she just shrugged it off, claiming she could buy anything she didn't have… genius. I needed to jack money off of Luki.

Back to my mad description skillz. Aight. Inside. Oh, where the hell do I start? Well, you walk in, and there's a huge living room with cream-colored carpet and a really, I dunno, modern feel to it and everything. The furniture was all somewhat geometric in shape and the walls were light blue. Behind the living room was a huge window facing the beach and beside it was a chrome finished staircase, going to a second floor. To the right of _that_ was a kitchen-y area, including some bar thing that still had alcohol attached to it. Whoops. That's irresponsible. And… um… I think there was a bathroom down there somewhere. That covers the first floor.

There were four bedrooms and bathrooms on each of the second and third floors. Everything had a view of the ocean and all bathrooms were located strategically between each room. Thank jesumus. I did not wish to hear Luki have fun with his "official" girlfriend. How did they become an item, anyway, after however many years Miki was gone? Whoa. Sidetracked again. Where was I? Oh yeah, rooms. Each room was different in size and theme, and I'd go through and describe each one, but that sounds so boring that I'd want to shoot myself and that would seriously reduce viewers, so I'll just list who got where. Second floor was Miku, Neru, Rin, and Yu, residing in respective order, and the third floor held Luki, Miki, Luka, and me. My room was the coolest. Just saying. Oh yeah. And I think there was some maid/butler station and laundry room on the second floor. And then a whole bunch of other random rooms that I didn't know what went to. WTF that sentence is weird.

Holy crap that's a long paragraph.

Oh yeah, there was a pool, too. Right outside the giant window on the first floor. Because, you know, there's not enough water to swim in IN THE OCEAN.

It was, like, five by the time everyone got settled in and all. And that Japanese snack food had long since worn off.

"What are we doing for dinner?" I asked.

"Maybe there's food in the plotcase," Miki suggested.

"Miki, that is a dumb idea," I spat.

"Yeah, I know… Let's try anyway!" she yelled, pulling four cards out from her cleavage—_what_?

"What are those…?"

"Oh, I jacked the number cards from you guys before you left."

"Miki, mine was in my back pocket…"

Miki stared at me, total poker face. "You remember what I said about your ass that one time?"

I nodded slowly.

"It's true."

"I'm lost. What did Miki say about his ass?" Yu inquired.

"Everything," Rin answered mellowly.

"How very descriptive."

"Luka! Fetch the plotcase!" Miki demanded.

"It's already here," Luka sighed, pulling the black case out from behind the couch she sat on.

Miki snatched the case away excitedly and started checking numbers. "Oooooh," she remarked. "Some dumbass switched the fifth and sixth numbers. Probably Mikuo."

"Hey! It could have just as easily been Luki," I insisted.

"Sure, whatevz. Ready to open this thing? I am!" she yelled, not bothering to wait for a response. She flung the case open, the stared at the contents as if they were given to her by some sort of wizard.

"So…" I heard Yu say.

"So… Much… paper," she whispered.

Rin forced herself forward and sat next to Miki. "Luki P.O.V., Miku P.O.V., Neru P.O.V.," she read. "What the hell?"

"Is there food in there?" I pushed, not actually expecting anything.

"Of course there's not food in here!" she snapped.

"All there is is—"She stopped dead and pulled out a plastic orange package, then handed it to me with a blank expression.

It was instant ramen with a sticky note on it that said "for Mikuo."

"Hell yeah," I hollered.

"How did it…" Rin trailed off and I left to boil some water in the microwave. I'm a fucking boss when it comes to microwaves.

In five minutes, I returned with a very hot bowl of instant-ramen and found that papers had been scattered all around. People were staring at them like Jesus came down and typed them just for their precious little eyes to see. Luki shoved one titled "Mikuo's P.O.V." at me and I set my bowl down on a table next to the smallest couch.

What the hell was this thing…? I skimmed through the pages and found everything that I had experienced since the day I met Rin and Luka in Atlanta, all written in intriguing first person point of view. In fact, the words seemed familiar. My god, that's because they were! They were the words of this very story! Then, it got to a point that hadn't been written yet and all the words were blacked out. Well, there were a few articles and conjunctions visible, kind of like classified documents.

"Rin…" I started. "What… _the fuck_… did you land on when you broke the fourth wall?"

She just stared at me.

"This stuff is dangerous to have around," Miki observed. "But, at the same time, I don't want to get rid of it."

"Yeah," I agreed. "Is there anything else in there?"

"Um…" Rin muttered, digging a bit, then spoke up, "There's one other stack that says 'Third Person P.O.V.'. And then there's some flashlights labeled 'hide and seek'."

"Hide and seek? Aren't you guys a little… old to play that?" Neru commented.

Luki slammed down whatever he was holding and stalked up to Neru, standing over her and glowering down at her evilly. "You will be eating your words when you are hiding for your motherfucking life," he hissed.

Neru shrank down. "O-okay," she stammered.

"What were we doing, again?" Miku said, appearing to have just snapped herself out of a daze.

"You guys were going to scrounge for food while I watch you with my magic plot ramen," I explained. "And then we were going to play hide and seek in the dark on the beach."

Everyone else found food and joined me at the breakfast bar to eat. By the time everyone else finished, it was about six thirty or something so the sun would be down soon.

"Someone get the flashlights. Let's all gather outside to discuss the limits," Luka directed. She's such a leader like that. Yu was back shortly with an armful of flashlights. "Okay, so. Here're the rules. Two people will let the other six hide for five minutes. They then have fifteen minutes to find at least one person to take their place for the next round. Both people that are 'it' have to find their own replacement, which means someone _can_ be 'it' twice in a row. The searchers can work together or go separate, whatever works best for them. To those hiding, use your flashlight at your own risk. The boundaries are from the edge of those rocks over there—" she gestured far out to the left "—to the tide pools over there—" she gestured far out to the right. There was a good 300 yards of space to work with, which was why the time limit was so long. In fact, fifteen minutes almost didn't seem long enough. "Okay, also, no going into the water or you _will_ be raped by various sea creatures and species of dolphins. You can bury yourself, but don't suffocate, and don't complain about ribs. And _please_ no sex. *cough Luki cough* There are children present."

Jk, gaiz. This is a much longer paragraph.

"Not it!" Miki yelled. As did everyone else, except Luki and me.

"Haha. You guys are all fucked," Luki said. That's what he did last time, too… Except this time it was twice as true. Probably.

"What are you waiting for! Five minutes!" I called. The comment was followed by a flurry of cursing and running.

"So. What do you want to do for five minutes?" Luki asked me.

"I dunno… hey, wanna look at the plotcase?"

"Oh, you sly thing," he mused. "That's totally immoral and unfair. Let's do it."

He set his watch to go off in five minutes and we walked into the living room to start sifting through papers. "I bet you want Miki's right?" I asked, holding up her stack.

"Yup. How'd you know?" he kidded. "And I bet you want Rin's" He traded with me. "Karma's gonna bite us in the ass for doing this."

"Hell yes it is. Now shut up."

Let's see. What has little Rinny been thinking over the course of this past week…

_So there I am, minding my own business, chatting up all the other choir nerds around when Luka starts acting sick. Now I, being the wonderful friend and decent human being that I am, start to attempt to console my poor, sickened friend by taking her back to her room. So we leave the restaurant and, low and behold, who do I see but the infamous Luki Megurine and his friend. I guessed his name was Mikuo, no idea on the last name, though. But damn, I didn't know jeans and a t-shirt could look this hot until this guy stepped in front of me. He shot me a smirk, looking _directly at me_ and turned to follow Luki outside. I tried to keep focused on the important things, like where the hell our luggage was, but this guy is walking _right there_ in front of me. Oh, he had a nice ass, too. You don't see this kind of figure on every teenage guy out there. Wow. That's sexy._

I started laughing out loud.

"What? What's so funny?" Luki said.

"The fact that _every_ female I meet thinks about my ass," I replied.

"Oh… Yeah, Miki mentioned it a couple times in here."

"Figures. How much time do we have left?"

"Two minutes."

"Perfect." Just enough time to read one more thing.

_He kissed me… _He kissed me_… MTHFKN BASTARD KISSED ME. Then tried to walk away, of all things! He's so… in his own world! Only does as he pleases. And he's so stubborn! He can get whatever he wants, and it's all because of that… energy. It's like I wanted him to do just whatever and get away with it…!_

_Gah! Why did I find that so HOT! Goddammit, he's getting into my head again. Okay, Rin. You need to relax. You know what they say; if you can't beat them, join them. Besides, I like games, right?_

"Ooh. Kinky," I remarked."

"What is?"

"Rin is a little… sadistic on the inside."

"She's a little sadistic on the outside, man."

"Point taken."

"We have twelve seconds left. Let's go."

We ran outside and the first person we saw, standing in the middle of the beach, facing into the sunset, was Miki. We jogged up to her at the same time, probably thinking the same thing.

"Miki, what the fuck are you doing?" Luki sighed. Well what do you know? We were.

She huffed. "Damn it. I was hiding in plain sight, hoping my hair would blend into the sky."

"Well, now you're replacing me in the next round," I claimed, "and helping me find more minions to search in my stead. You have fourteen minutes, and it looks like by then the sun will be down."

"I'm on it!" Miki shouted, saluting me before running off to the right.

"You wanna just…" I never finished. He knew what I was going to say.

"Wait until she comes back with people? Yup. This game is boring with sunlight."

"Don't worry, o nocturnal one; your nighttime sky will be with us shortly," I teased.

And. Sure enough, fourteen minutes later, it was dark. Everyone gathered back in the middle of the beach with flashlights on hand. Like, literally. They had these convenient little wrist straps so you didn't have to hold on to them all the time. Nothing worse than trying to keep up with a flashlight, ya know.

"Well, considering most of us didn't get caught, I assume Luki wasn't actually trying," Luka observed. Luki nodded and smiled. "Probably waiting for the dark or whatever… So it's Luki and Miki searching now?"

"Indeed it is," Luki stated.

"Alright! So we might have a chance since they'll just be making out the whole time!" Miku cheered.

"Nah. What did you think the five minutes at the beginning was for? Hiding? Huh. You know, you can get a lot done in five minutes," Luki said, creeping out my sister. She inched away from him.

"Luki, must you scare all of the children in one night?" Rin chided.

"Um, duh. Is that a trick question? Now, you should scurry along. Your five minutes is about to start," Luki said, turning and starting a stroll toward the house, one arm around Miki's shoulders.

I darted toward the right. Since I'm such a strategic hide and seek player, I decided to take the short time I had to scout the area. There were all kinds of places around the tide pools that would be amazing to shelter in, that is, if I were small and aquatic. But I was sure Luki knew about this, so he'd be more likely to start out with the left side of the beach, and time was what I needed here.

Damn, I am way too serious about this shit.

Farther away from the water, there were more places that had actual oxygen to take cover in, so that was good. I could probably dive from rock to rock in a chase…. Nah, not enough energy for that, but the initial intention made me feel better about myself.

Crap. I saw lights come from the house. Five minutes was up. I crouched down and turned off my light before Luki could spot me and began scrounging for lower ground.

I found Rin instead.

"Ow," she complained when I rammed into her side. I immediately put my hand over her mouth.

"Shh," I whispered. "He's coming."

Her eyes widened and she pulled my hand away. "Already?" she mouthed.

I nodded in reply.

"We… we need to do something. Let's dig down," she said softly.

I peered over the rock and saw the light facing opposite us.

"Sure. Why not?" I huffed. We found a crevice that would work well as a wall. "Hurry."

We miraculously managed to dig a decent hole in about five minutes. So here we are, hiding like cockroaches in a hole in the beach. Tch. We're cool. Oh yah; and Rin was sitting _on_ me.

"Rin, you're on my crotch," I mentioned.

"Well, Mikuo, it's not like there's some other place I can sit on inside this hole," she returned.

"Hey, I'm just warning you. Don't do anything reckless. Or sexy. Or sexy and reckless. Oh!" I grabbed her mouth again. "I heard something."

"You sure it wasn't, oh I don't know, another person _hiding_," Rin snapped through my hand.

"Shh!"

Aight, I know I was supposed to be listening for footsteps, but Rin was kind of _sitting in my lap_, and when you're a teenage boy you can't just ignore that. I mean, I could feel _everything_. Her back was pressed up against my abdomen and the hand that I didn't have on her mouth was around her waist. Oh yeah, and her ass WAS STILL ON MY FUCKING CROTCH. But she was so, just, tiny. Like, you could fit two of her in me and I'm not a large guy. More like one step away from Luki's fucking anorexia. Jkjk but really.

"Mikuo, stop humming," Rin said.

I snapped my attention back to not Rin's body (to my disappointment). "I was humming? Sorry, I do that sometimes. What song?"

"I think it was a Katy Perry song, but I'm bad with titles.

"Huh. Katy Perry. That's a new one," I mumbled. "Goddammit, Rin, can you turn around or something? You nice ass is killing me."

Rin started to turn, but paused halfway. "Wait, you think I have a nice ass?"

"Rin, _the world_ thinks you have a nice ass. Just imagine, if we had children, their asses would be so nice, they'd need to have plastic surgery to make them _less_ nice."

"You know, I was totally going to say something like that, but I held it back because most guys freak out when I say the word 'children'."

"I desensitized myself to it a while ago. Took away from my humor."

Thankfully, Rin remembered to turn around the rest of the way and my crotch was saved.

"We're going to need a bigger hole next time," I commented.

"Next time… You mean I have to do this again?" Rin fretted.

"What, you don't like me?"

"Ah, no, it's just…"

"Just what?" I asked, leaning in on her.

"Just…?"

"Do I drive you _crazy_? Is that what it is?" Seemslegityo.

"Well, I wouldn't call it that, per say, but—"

"But what?

She didn't say anything back so I moved even closer, bringing her face in to me and parting my lips right over hers then stopping. I stayed there for a moment before smiling and settling back on my side of the hole. The look on her face? Priceless. Mouth slightly open, eyes hazy, but just for a moment before she realized what happened and got irritated.

"Wh-what the—"

"A hole in the dirt? Really, Rin? It's not very romantic. Plus, I still smell like ramen. You need to catch me at a better time, like after I chew some gum or something." I winked at her before jumping up. "It's been fifteen minutes. He didn't find us."

0o0o0

A couple rounds later, everyone decided they were cold and wet and tired so we went back. Luka, Neru, and Miku all went to sleep, so it was slowing down to a peaceful, quiet evening for the rest of us.

I was helping Miki pick up papers to put back in the plotcase.

"So, whose did you read?" Miki began. "I mean, come on, we all did it. I'll tell you which ones I read."

"Rin's," I admitted, low enough so she wouldn't hear me.

"Heh, figures," Miki noted. "I read yours and Yuuma's."

"Mine? Why'd you read mine?"

"To get to know you better. And to understand a day in the life of someone with an ass as nice as yours."

"You really can't get over that, can you?"

"One mustn't ignore beauty!"

I left after that. I walked over to the kitchen, where all other wakeful teenagers had migrated, and I found Luki sifting through things at that drink station place in the corner of the room.

"Luki, what the hell are you doing?" I asked accusingly.

"Looking for the freaking ice. It should not be this hard to find," he criticized. I looked to my right and saw Yu and Rin watching intently.

"Did you maybe think to try, I don't know, THE FREEZER?"

"Oh, of course!" he exclaimed, crouching behind the bar.

I turned to Yu. "What the hell is he doing?"

"I don't know. He said something about mixing drinks under his breath," Yu explained.

"The hell? How the fuck do you know how to mix drinks, Luki?"

"A maid taught me over spring break. Shh. It's a secret," Luki said.

"There is _so_ much illegal attached to that statement. Why didn't you invite me!" I nagged.

"I didn't want the poor girl to get fired. So, what do you want?"

"Something that doesn't taste disgusting."

"Very descriptive. Anyone else?"

"I've always wondered what Sex on the Beach tastes like…" Rin pondered.

"Well have you ever _had_ sex on the beach? Cuz if not, you'll have to try it, for comparison, you know," I pushed.

"A-a-ah of course not!" Rin stuttered. "Doesn't that sound a-a little slutty?"

Yu kind of tried to look away from both of us, which was difficult for him considering he was sitting in the middle. Hm. Interesting reaction… Was that… Was he blushing? Oh my god. No way. _No way_. OH, Rin was going to hear about this later.

"I should really think more about my choice of words when I'm around Mikuo," Rin murmured to herself.

Yes, Rin. Yes you should.

Everything Luki made ended up being virgin since he figured his father knew exactly how much of what was in each bottle and _nobody_ wanted to face the wrath of Luki's father. (Lol. Virgin Sex on the Beach. That's inappropriate on a whole new level. Damn I'm a pervert.)

What time is it?" Yu asked.

I pulled my cell phone from my pocket. "Only eleven" I yawned. "Why am I tired at eleven?"

"I don't know," Luki sighed. "Probably 'cause of how early we got up. I'm going to bed."

"Sleep. I like that idea. Let's do that," I agreed. "Night, peoples."

I bounded up the stairs and into my awesome room. It was nice because it was in the top corner of the condo, so it had two walls composed mostly of windows and everything was light and pleasant and all that crap. The bed was in the right corner of the room. It was plain white, but there was this square texture on the comforter that made it less boring n shit. Then there was a giant flatscreen on the left wall and one of those window bench things on the far wall. FREAKING LOVE THOSE. I don't know why but I just do. Makes for the perfect spot to chill and surf the internet.

Which reminds me—I should plug in my laptop.

And get comfortable. Gahd I hate clothes. I stripped off my shirt and pulled on some sweatpants to sleep in before finding my computer.

So while I was digging around for my charger, there was a knock at the door. "Ahm, it's open," I called at whoever was out there.

Rin stepped in wearing shorts and a tank top.

"Oh, hello there, Rin's legs. What brings you up here?" In reply, she threw something at my head. "Ow," I griped. "Ooh, gum." That's what she threw at me: a box of gum.

"I found it in my suitcase while I was looking for clothes," She said, stepping forward and closing the door halfway with her foot. "It made me think of you."

I stuck a piece in my mouth and smirked at her. "Are you trying to tell me something, Rin?"

"Maybe," she eluded, stepping past me to sit on my bed.

"So what was that back there?"

"What was what back where?"

"Oh, come on. I saw the look on Yu's face when I was giving you a hard time earlier."

"_I_ don't know what you're talking about," Rin insisted.

I found my charger and plugged in the laptop before going to sit next to her. "You never told me why you two broke up," I said.

"It was a long time ago."

"So? I'm curious. Who broke up with who?"

"We just decided it would be better if we were just friends."

"Sounds more like he broke it off."

"Okay, maybe it was _his_ decision alone."

"Why?"

"I don't like talking about it."

"What, did the jerk sleep with you and then leave or something?"

She gave me a hard stare.

"Oh…" I glanced away from her. "Well that explains things. Damn, that's harsh. How'd you deal?"

"I still am," she puffed."Le friendzone helps."

"Until Luka started giving you hell about it."

"Exactly. You're good at this."

"I know, right? It's sickening." There was a 9-second silence, long enough to let her think but just under the point of awkward. "But really, why are you here?"

"Huh?" Rin must have gotten distracted. "Oh, um, I came to throw gum at you. Mission accomplished."

"Then why are you _still_ here?"

"Why did you kiss me last night?"

Oh, that. Kind of caught me off guard. To be honest. "I just wanted to see what would happen. I'm kind of impulsive like that, you know. I have the tattoo to prove it."

"Did that ever heal?"

"Oh, yeah. It looks awesome. Wanna see?"

"No; stop distracting me. Saying 'because I can' is not a real answer."

"Okay. So _you_ want _me_ to give you reason for why I kissed you yesterday."

Rin nodded patiently, folding her arms across her chest.

"Let's see. I _think_ I wanted to see your reaction."

"If you just wanted an amusing reaction, you'd be kissing Luka."

"Ooh, good point. We're playing hard ball, I see." I leaned back on my elbows. "Maybe I… wanted to see why _my_ reaction would be."

"Now we're getting somewhere."

"Yeah. And I think I finally know what it is," I deliberated. "Hey Rin, wanna make out?"

"W-what?"

"You heard me."

"B-but I—"

"Need some gum? I just so happen to have a piece lying around her somewhere." I sat myself up and leaned in on Rin, hooking her back toward me. I kissed her before she got the chance to think, but only long enough so I could give her gum back.

Rin looked up at me with that "are you fucking kidding me" face on. "You sucked all the flavor out, asshole," she hissed.

I gave her a large smile. "I try." I stood and walked toward the door.

"Whoa, where do you think you're going?" Rin shot.

"I'm closing the door, genius. There are people sleeping."

"Oh, well if that's all," Rin said, spitting the gum out into an adjacent trash can. "Come back over here and do that thing again."

"Gladly." I walked back to her and kissed her again before forcing her onto her back, climbing on top of her as a devilish smirk crossed my face. I brushed the hair from her cheeks and took a moment to admire the lust in her eyes.

"You work fast," she observed. Huh. You don't even know.

"Five minutes and I'm kicking you out," I replied, kissing her slowly.

"Why so short?" she panted, obviously repressing a sound as I grazed my lips down her neck..

I chuckled a bit. "Because I wasn't lying when I said I was tired, and my judgment is _severely_ impaired when I'm tired. We wouldn't want me manipulating you into something that you may not want to do," I murmured into her ear as I trailed my fingers down her arm.

"… That was the sexiest rejection anyone has ever given me."

0o0o0

**5700 words, people. I really hope you don't start expecting long chapters from me, now, though. This is very uncharacteristic of me. ~ Dang, I need to reteach myself how to write makeout scenes. This feels so… urgh. **

*** You're a shemale, right?**

**** Idiot.**

*****fufufufufu.**

**And that would be the extent of my Japanese knowledge. Jkjk but really.**

**Anonymous!**

**AliasStars: ALWAYS GLAD TO HEAR FROM YOU. Thanks for reviewing again, man. XD You amuse me.**

**Anon: LMAO THANKS. I APPRECIATE THE VIRTUAL LOVE**

**Lolcat ftw too lazy to log in: I know that feel, bro. The not logging in one.  
lol. I totally ship MikuoxLuki's car**

**And don't worry. Le friendzone totally doesn't phase Mikuo.**

**Thanks for the review~! XD**

**And thanks to all of you crazy people reading this right now! ~o Why aren't you doing something productive, like, going outside…? WHATEVZ. THANKS ANWYAY.**


	11. When Our Eyes Locked, I Ran Into You

**2500 hits? I never thought it could get that high for this story! Gosh, I love you guys so much. You could be doing things like doing summer homework, going out with your friends, or reading **_**real**_** books with page numbers and everything, but instead, you're reading this story. **

**Thanks, guys. Thanks for throwing away your lives for me.**

**Less language warning as usual kind of… everything else? Little bit worse… **

**This is me, still not owning Vocaloid.**

0o0o0

TiNaF

Chapter 10: When Our Eyes Locked, I Ran into You.

0o0o0

I woke up the next morning feeling refreshed and energetic. LOL JK. I FELT LIKE SHIT. The sun woke me up about three hours earlier than I wanted to be awake. _Fucking windows. _Remember yesterday when I talked about liking windows? Haha. _I lied_. I would rant and curse about it more, but I'm pretty sure I've reached my quota for saying the f*** word, so I'm going to be good and censor myself for the WHOLE rest of the chapter.

Yeah. I got up at F*CKING EIGHT O'CLOCK, before _every_ sensible human being on this planet, cuz, ya know, I was all like "Oh, I still have time to sleep more" and the sun was all "LOLNOPE." Or, well, I thought I was the only one up until I looked out one of my windows. You'll never guess who I saw. Well, you will, actually. Rin was down there in the pool that I just so happened to have the perfect view of from my room. How about that?

It's okay, windows; I forgive you, now.

So I start chilling on my MTHFKN AWESOME WINDOW SEAT and watching her like the creeper that I claim to be. Let me tell you: the way that this chick swam… Oh my gahd. I'm not big on fantasy crap, but this girl could make you believe that mermaids exist. She was like a fish. 'Cept with legs.

Really, _nice_ legs.

_Not sure if I've italicized enough things yet, gaiz._

All of these single lines of text are making this chapter look longer than it really is.

Lol. I'm such a troll.

… Where was I? OH RIGHT COFFEE. I was too tired to stay awake but way too awake to go back to sleep. It was a coffee kind of morning. With, like, twelve spoonfuls of sugar attached. Because I fuggin hate coffee. Like, those Starbucks mocha things that you buy already made at Target or whatever? I have to add sugar to those. So really, it's more like "Would you like some coffee with your sugar?" to which the answer is more than often "hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaf*ckno."

I managed to get off of my lazy, tired posterior and drag it relatively quickly down two flights of stairs and into the kitchen, where I found the coffee maker. I then proceeded to make it do its nifty little coffee maker thing and then lay on one of the many couches so I could feel sorry for myself since I should be sleeping right now like everyone else.

However long later, I got up and found a bag of sugar and contemplated just pouring the whole thing in a cup and forgetting the coffee, but I needed the caffeine so I decided against it. One cup of sugar later I was headed outside so I could become more open about my stalking.

The sun felt _awesome_ out there. I hated being cold. So the beach was totally okay.

I waited for Rin to come up for air so I could start asking inappropriate questions. She looked very surprised to see me.

"Rin, why would you wear a bikini if you know no one was watching you swim? I mean, it's not like anyone's going to see you… better yet, why not swim naked?"

Her face immediately went red and she subconsciously crossed her arms over her chest. Well, it wasn't like she had much there to hide anyway. Oh, crap, I'm staring. Better look back up… Trying… Trying… Nope. Not happening.

"W-what are you doing being, um, awake?" she kind of asked. It was more like a suggestion than a question, really.

"Freaking windows woke me up. Stupid sunlight," I griped. "Can't sleep. Can't wake up either."

"Is that coffee?" she said, pointing at the cup in my hand.

"Psssh. Not anymore," I huffed.

"What did you do to it?"

"I hate coffee. I put, like, fourteen spoonfuls of sugar in one cup because it's so gross."

"How the hell can you hate coffee? Are you human?"

"PROBABLY NOT. I dunno. I just do."

"No coffee, no green tea, is there anything you _do_ drink?"

"Coca Cola and purple drank."

Damn, I'm so f*cking racist.

I pulled my pants legs up to my knees and sat next to the pool to put my feet in the water.

"Damn, Rin! This water is _freezing_. How do you move in this without getting hypothermia?" I demanded.

"I like swimming! Water temperature is irrelevant," she replied.

Rin swam toward me and pushed herself up, not beside me or anything, but _on_ me, both of her elbows resting on each of my knees. I flinched.

"Holy crap, Rin! What the hell do you think you're doing?" I hissed.

"I'm resting! Swimming is hard work! What, is there something wrong with this?"

"Um, _yeah_, a little bit!"

"What?"

"If someone comes outside and sees you they'll think that—"

"They'll think what?"

"That you're about to blow me, genius," I deadpanned, glaring down at her.

"Well what if I am?" she said "innocently", fingering the waistband of my pants.

"HOLY JESUS. Stoppit!" I grabbed both of her hands in one of mine.

She stuck her tongue out at me, and then got a particularly mischievous look in her eyes.

"Oh, shi—"

I was in the water. The mothertrukkin colder than Greenland ice-water water. Thanks, Rin. Thanks.

Cue make out scene in the pool? Heh. You wish.

"Oh, you little… You will pay for this. Soon…" I growled, pulling myself up out of the Arctic Ocean. She splashed me, just to piss me off. "Very soon…"

I started to walk away, when I realized how absolutely soaking wet I was, so I stripped off my sad excuse for pants and tried to wring some of the water out of them.

"Ooh, red plaid boxers. Interesting…" Rin remarked. I looked down. Huh. Forgot I had these.

"Soon…" I repeated, slinging my slightly less wet pants over my shoulder. Inside, I found Neru sitting on a couch watching television. What was up with these Kagamines and waking up so damn early? They're all insane.

She asked, "Um, Mikuo? Why are you wet and—"

"Walking around in my underwear? Ask your sister. It's a funny f*cking story," I spat. I huffed up the stairs and met Yu on the way, just as he was leaving his room. Before he could even open his mouth, I coughed out another, "Don't ask me."

I FINALLY made it back to my room so I could stop being wet and mostly naked. I decided to wear a swimsuit for the day, for safety, ya know. And I _guessed_ I needed a shirt, too. Dang. I hate clothes. Didn't I say that already? I hate clothes…

I ran back downstairs and leapt over the back of the couch, directly next to Neru, who, in turn, inched away from me slightly and settled leaning away. Tch. No love.

"Whatcha watching, Neru?" I asked in a super annoying tone of voice, putting my arm around her shoulder just to aggravate her.

"The weather…" she answered dully, trying to scoot away again.

"Seriously? You're so boring!" I remarked.

"But it says we're going to have a tropical storm all day Thursday."

"Storms are gross."

"What about storms?" Rin asked, walking inside from the pool appearing to be drying her hair.

Nope, still no cleavage. Trust me, I checked.

"We're having some on Thursday apparently," I repeated.

"Lovely," she mumbled sarcastically. Rin wrapped her towel around her torso and sat next to me on the couch; slowly leaning over to take my arm off of her sister. "Is there anything else on?"

"I wouldn't know. Your sister has awful taste in television," I said.

Rin started flipping through channels when I saw her pass something important and I proceeded to violently steal the remote from her.

"HOLY CRAP, RIN. MOTHERF*CKING POWER PUFF GIRLS," I yelled as I flipped back to whatever channel it was on.

"No need to be so vicious!" Rin said.

Neru gave me this really seriously weirded out look. "Power Puff Girls, Mikuo? Really?"

"Shut up. I had to watch this with Miku constantly when she was younger. _It's freaking nostalgic,_" I hissed.

"Nostalgic to what, exactly?" She continued to ask questions. It was getting annoying.

"Um, you kids have fun down here. I'm going to go take a shower," Rin informed, standing to leave.

"I'll come with you!" I offered.

"Lolf*ckno!" she laughed, then left.

All of this censoring is really tiring me out. Think God would smite me if I just stopped?

…

Eh. It's worth it.

Eventually more people joined us downstairs. In fact, everyone except Miku had come down. Little twat. Sleeps forever.

"I am so booooored," I complained.

"Go fuck yourself," Luki suggested as he sat back casually with Miki curled up next to him.

"Only if you do it with me, baby," I insisted.

"Let's go!" he exclaimed, not even thinking about it before jumping up and heading upstairs.

I followed soon after, trying with all my might not to laugh.

"How long do you think we need to wait for them to think we were being serious?" I said.

"Ten, fifteen minutes," Luki answered. "What shall we do until then?"

"You got Super Smash Brothers?"

"No shit, Sherlock."

"Good good. Ooh, and while we're at it, ask your man slaves to set up a volleyball net for us outside. I wanna kick everyone's lesser-quality asses into the ground later."

"… Sure. Why the hell not?"

0o0o0

"HOLY GOD, DON'T FKN HIT ME!" I snarled.

"OH MY DOG, I'M NOT TRYING TO!" Luki shot back.

"YOU JUST SAID GOD BACKWARDS!"

"YES I DID."

"Hey how long has it been?" I asked.

Luki checked his watch. "About fifteen minutes. Do you think they miss us yet?"

"Oh, definitely. We should probably go back."

We stumbled back downstairs—I wanted us to hold hands, too, but Luki said no—and we were greeted by confusion.

"What the hell were you guys doing up there?" Rin asked accusingly.

"I was okay until I heard Luki yelling about—quote—'Charetard, you fucking mentally handicapped bastard,' and then I started to wonder…" Luka added.

I just kinda stared at them for a second then yelled, "Who wants to go play some volleyball!"

Yu immediately shot up. "_Anything_ not to watch Vampire Diaries!" he shouted.

"Are you kidding? I love that show!" I exclaimed. "Wait. Never mind that. Volleyball! Hurry up."

Well, I was _going_ to go really in-depth with how I managed to beat the shit out of everyone at volleyball (I was kind of on the team at school and all) but this chapter already feels kinda ADD and rushed, so I decided to skip to the fun stuff.

It started around… Oh… I dunno, nine o'clock or something. The nighttime air was starting to leave everyone sitting around, bored as hell. That was when this pounding music started playing from one of the beach houses next door. It was faint, at the distance we were at, but it was there.

_To: Veggie Monster_

_Do… Do you hear that?_

_From: Veggie Monster_

_Sounds like… heavy bass music. You_

_Think…_

_To: Veggie Monster_

_I __**know**_.

"Luki, Mikuo, are you texting each other while you are alone, in the same _room_ as one another?" Luka asked as she descended the stairs.

"What else would we be doing? Now hurry and go get Miki, Rin, and Yu. There's a party next door," I said quickly, standing and shoving my phone into my pocket. (Swimming trunks with pockets=the coolest thing since sliced bread.)

"What? Seriously?"

"Shh! Listen."

All was still for a few seconds. "… Oh my god. _Riiiiiiin_!" she called, bounding back upstairs only to return seconds later Dragging Yu and a half naked Rin with her.

JK. She had a swimsuit on.

Miki followed soon after, looking like an excited puppy about to piss herself.

"A party? Oh my gooood I haven't been to a party in _ages_!" Miki yelped.

"The hell? A _party_? I think I have time to put on a shirt for that, Luka!" Rin snapped, attempting to yank her harm away.

"No! We have to go _now_! Rin, I'm so bored!" Luka insisted, holding on with both of her breasts—I MEAN ARMS. OMIGOD.

"Neeeeeh!" Rin protested as Luka continued to drag her outside. "CAN I AT LEAST GET MY FREAKING SHOES!"

"NO! MAN UP, RIN. WE ARE AT THE BEACH. MUTHAFUGGIN SAND, RIN. MUTHAFUGGIN SAND."

Miki dashed after them in a wordless splendor. I say wordless because I don't believe that screaming counts as a statement.

Yu was stretching and rubbing his eyes. Crazy fool took a nap at six o'clock. I hate naps. They always leave me feeling worse than before I took them. Especially long naps.

"What's this I keep hearing about a party?" he moaned semi-coherently.

Whoa. That sounded inappropriate.

"The neighbors appear to be having one," Luki explained. "Sounds like lots of music and under-aged drinking to me."

"Huh. Figures. Wait, you're letting Luka go to this?" Yu shot.

"She doesn't need drink to act insane and dance with strangers."

"Sounds dangerous.

"It is. Very."

"STOP STALLING, SISSY DITCHES!" the demoness herself called out.

I sighed and started walking out (very far) behind her, pulling out my cell phone as I went. Probably needed to tell Miku that we'd be gone until… um… until we got back. And that if she dared to follow us I would tell all of her future boyfriends about the time when she was six years old and she was running around the house without pants and covered in shaving cream.

Don't worry. I'll tell them anyway. But she doesn't need to know that.

We caught up with Luka at about three fourths of the way there since it was around that time that she realized that walking in without a bigger group would probably be rather awkward. Rin stood there impatiently, trying to rub the chill bumps off of her skin.

"Cold, Rin?" I taunted.

"Shaddup, ass," she spat.

There she goes, talking about my ass again.

Gah! Walking is boring. Let's skip to the party, yes? So Luki and I are sitting at some round table with a whole bunch of other strangers (everyone else had gotten lost in various other parts of the house/patio by now) when some dude with silvery hair and weird eyes just comes up and sits next to me, asking me questions.

"You're new faces around here," he observed. "Having fun?"

I made two seconds of eye contact with him, since I present such an "alpha-male" status and tend to try to size up potential competition whenever I feel the need. I know. I'm terrible and horrible in every way. But that's what makes me so fucking amazing.

And sexy.

"Of course we are. That's all that matters, that you're having fun, right?" I finally answered. Lightheartedly, of course. I'm not _openly_ condescending. Usually.

I could feel Luki giving me "the look" through the back of my skull. The you're-doing-that-weird-staring-thing-again look. He knew my subconscious routine by now.

"Great to hear," said mystery man. "I'm Piko—the host, technically. It's a pleasure."

This guy… He could either end up as the worst clash against my personality or my new bfffffl.

"I'm Mikuo. Luki is the asshole beside me. You throw a pretty mean party, Piko. Tell me, how do you pull it off?" I questioned, careful not to let the distrust that I felt slip into my tone.

"My family is loaded and—I don't care what 'they' say—alcohol is easier to get than ever. Why not?"

"Good reason. Luki, you have access to these things. Why don't you do this more often?" I asked.

"Cuz people suck," he said bluntly.

"And yet you came here," I marveled.

Luki stood up. "I'm gonna go find my girlfriend," he announced. "Hopefully I can catch her before she passes out somewhere…" He trailed off and walked away.

"So, Mikuo, can I interest you in a drink?" Piko questioned.

"Considering I absolutely fuggin hate the taste of every alcoholic beverage in existence, sure. Why not?"

0o0o0

Three drinks later I decided it would be an _awesome_ idea to abandon Piko and go seek out Rin. Her greatly-naked body was not too hard to spot in a group of excited girls… and Luki.

"Oh, good, Rin. I've found you!" I exclaimed, placing an arm around her shoulder.

"Mikuo. There you are," she said. "Wait, are you drunk?"

"Crap dammit I think I am. Come dance with me," I insisted, pulling her away and toward a mass of people clumsily piled together next to a few speakers.

"Uh, okay? I'm not grinding, though," Rin warned. "I respect myself too much. And are you really drunk?"

"Eh. Kinda. I have a high muscle mass and I'm a guy so it takes a bit more to affect me than, let's say, you," I stated matter-of-factly. Driver's Ed, health class, and psychology education powers activate!

… Did I just say that…?

Fukkit I'm drunk.

"I thought you hated alcohol," Rin said.

"I do." Did I have anything else to say to that…? Nope. Dang. Slow cognition already starting to mess me up. "Okay. So I'm curious. Tell me about what happened with what's-his-face VY2 or whatever," I instructed.

"Are you seriously asking me about my sex life right now?" Rin accused accurately.

"What? I don't know what I'm talking about; I'm drunk! So tell me."

"I… okay I guess. Whatever."

"I'm listening." Well, I was trying to since the music was blaring. Of course, that was kind of the safest way to talk.

"So I was fifteen, right? The beginning of sophomore year and Yu and I had been together for a year. We were doing some anniversary making out in his room while his parents were out for the weekend. I'd told my mom that I was going to be staying at Luka's. And I planned to, even. But it was our anniversary. I just _had_ to stop by and see him, just for a little bit. So anyway, we were kissing on his bed and, next thing I knew, clothes started coming off and he was touching me in ways I'd never been touched before and, low and behold, my virginity was gone. I think I fell asleep afterwards. It was only, like, eight o'clock, but damn, that was tiring."

"Heh. I know that feel, bro," I chimed in. Rin flicked me. "Ow!"

"Shaddup I'm not done. Do you want me to finish or not?"

"Please, continue," I urged.

"Okay. I woke up at, like, six the next morning and had about forty missed calls from Luka and eighty texts. And Yuuma wasn't there. I mean, I don't know why he'd be worried about having sex or anything if that was why he disappeared. My mom had me on 'le pill' since age thirteen and somehow and everyone and their _dog_ knew about it. Well, I started looking for him because, seriously, it was six in the morning. This guy sleeps 'til two on a regular basis and he should not be off missing somewhere. I found him in his living room laying on the couch and staring up at the ceiling." Rin paused for a moment, looking down and to the side.

"That's where he broke up with you," I inferred.

She nodded. "He said that he was sorry and he didn't mean to go that far and that we were too young and other shit like that. Then he said it would be better if we were just friends."

Asshole. "And now you are. What's up with that?"

"Time heals all wounds, I guess. Or, at least, most of them… Okay. I'm tired of my sob story. Your turn."

"My turn? For what?" I fretted.

"Your first time. Come on. You have to."

"Oh, but do I?" I said, my face reddening at the thought. Yes, it was just that bad. I hate talking about the past.

"An eye for an eye!" she pursued.

"Okay. Ugh. So honestly, my 'first time' was kind of on a dare. It was summer after sophomore year with some unremarkable chick—oh, I can't remember her name, even—Tei, I think, and Luki dared me saying I couldn't get her to kiss me in twenty-four hours, but I _kind of_ 1-upped him on that."

"Wow. Seriously? A dare?"

"Yeah. Even worse, I'd just had _so_ much fun with her, I started having regular flings with other random girls that I barely knew. None of them were _quite_ as slutty as me, though."

"You're such a man whore!" Rin yelled.

"I know, right? It's disgusting!"

"I don't know how anyone can put up with you!" she elaborated."…Hey. Remember that thing I said when we first got out here about dancing?"

"Yes?"

"Screw that. Let's grind," Rin suggested suddenly.

"Um, what? Srsly? What?"

"You heard me. Everyone else is doing it. Call it me giving in to peer-pressure."

"Huh. Fine by me."

I remember way back when I was an innocent freshman that freaked out at the thought of my crotch coming in semi-contact with someone's ass. Now I had these nifty little things called whoremones that told me to react differently.

"You know what pisses me off?" Rin started.

"What?"

"You guys are the only ones that get the real pleasure out of dancing like this. I mean, look at her!" she said, pointing at some chick completely bent over with her ass on the guy's balls. "How is that fun! In what _world_ is that girl having fun! She looks like she fell asleep but her boyfriend wasn't done masturbating with her ass yet. Now this—" she cut off, turning around and pulling our hips together. I stifled a soft sigh. "This is fun."

I sneered at her. "You're such a dirty little pervert," I deemed.

"No worse than any other girl. I'm just really bad at hiding it."

I found myself holding my hands against her waist, keeping her on me. Dang, she was so small.

"Oh, god," I groaned as she pressed her nonexistent, but still mostly naked, chest up against me. "Just promise me that, whatever you do, you won't let me have drunk sex with you."

"You've had sex while drunk?"

"Three times. They all sucked."

"What's so bad about it?"

"I get sloppy. The foreplay is messy and everything is rushed and it's just not good."

"So what?" she asked, moving her arms up my chest and winding them around my neck. "What if I _happen_ to feel a little sloppy right now?"

"I believe in first impressions," I stated plainly, a smirk playing on my lips.

She sighed. "I know," she replied, unwinding her arms and, to my dissatisfaction, moving away from me a bit. However, in one swift movement, I turned her around and held her back to me as she let out a "Hey!" in protest.

"I don't like it when you call the shots," I hummed into her ear. "You miss all of the fun opportunities we could have together. It gets me so _irritated_."

"Is it just me or are you more cynical when you're buzzed?" Rin posed.

"I probably am," I breathed, toying with the edge of Rin's shorts. Did I mention that before? Swimsuit top with shorts, of all things. I was lucky she hadn't been stolen away yet.

"I need some fresh air," Rin claimed, moving my hands from her waist. "Come with me." She took me by the wrist and began weaving her way out.

We emerged outside on a sexy little patio thing. "Oh my gooooosh, the air feels fan-frikkin-tastic out here," I moaned. There weren't too many people outside, which was kind of weird. I was _sure_ that there would be some morons screwing each other out here. I guessed the people smoking off to the side scared them all off. Gahd, I hate smoking. My dad smoked when he was still here. It was repulsive.

"How do you manage to make everything you ever say _ever_, sound so fracking sexual…?" Rin muttered.

"I do my best. Been working at it for two years. I'd be disappointed if it wasn't effective by now."

Rin decided to move again, running down the wooden steps to the beach, nearly_ killing me_ in the process btw, and she found herself a comfortable place in the sand about seventy-five percent of the way to the water. Of course, this fast, reckless movement made me fall on my exquisite posterior with her. Well, maybe it was my side. Either way it hurt.

"Ow, Rin. Please try not to break my ass time."

"Stop complaining. You'll be fine."

"Well then," I huffed. I saw Rin lay on her back beside me, resting her arms behind her head. Wait. Did I see—?

Nope. Still no cleavage. Dammit, Rin. You are seventeen years old. What is wrong with your genes?

"What are you staring at?" Rin asked me.

"Nothing, Rin. Absolutely nothing," I answered with a bit of desperation in my voice.

She flicked me again and in return I poked her side. She squealed like a grown man seeing a spider.

"Oh my gahd, Rin. I didn't know you were that ticklish," I scoffed.

"Sh-shut up, Mikuo," she stuttered. "And don't do that again!"

I did it again. A few times, actually. She, like, had a seizure.

"Stop it!" she yelled, trying not to laugh.

"Kay," I said, moving on top of her, instead. She looked a little surprised. Not sure if it was from me straddling her waist or the fact that I stopped poking her. "You're cute when you're confused," I mused.

"Stop picking on me."

"That, unfortunately, I cannot do. It's _kind of_ my goal in life to be a troll."

"I can tell."

I took her arms out from under head so I could hold her down by the wrists. Remember that cynical comment Rin made about me earlier? Totally true.

"R-remember, no drunk sex," Rin stammered.

I groaned. "_Why_ did you have to remind me?" I rumbled next to her cheek. I let my lips roam across her jaw, stopping right over her mouth. I noticed how she didn't dare to breathe, though her lips were slightly parted. What, Rin? Still embarrassed?

I closed the space and heard Rin let out a sigh. Gosh. It'd been so _long_. How did I manage a whole day without this? I let go of one of her wrists to tilt her chin up and deepen the kiss. (Oh, gawd, I hate that phrase. It's so overused.)

OK. So. In just about _every_ story I read, there's always some Frenching scene where the characters are all going on about how their lover's mouth tastes like, I don't know, cinnamon or whatever, and I'm here to tell you that that is total bullshit. Mouths taste like fucking spit. I don't care how much mthfkn candy you stuff into your fatass face every day; you taste like saliva. Unless you are sharing a freaking piece of gum while you are making out, I can assure you, you do not taste like a fuggin mint. Get over yourself.

Wait. Where was I? Oh, yes, facial contact. Well, you know, I get bored easily when I'm only doing one thing at a time. I started trailing my hand down her arm and her side. Her skin was hot to the touch, nice contrast to the cool air. Rin reacted, tangling her fingers in my hair and drawing herself closer to me. I sat up, pulling her into my lap and letting a soft moan escape my lips before moving back to kiss her neck. She gasped, straining her arms around my torso, only getting nearer.

"God, Rin," I murmured. "You are making this very hard for me. Don't make me put another time limit on you."

"I'm sorry!" she blew. "It's not_ my_ fault you're so good at this." I smiled at her breathiness as I started kissing her again.

She actually wasn't too bad. She even dared to fight me for dominance a couple times. Of course, she never actually won since I could just touch her in a different place and she'd instantly lose it.

"Hey," I panted, trying to catch my breath.

"Hi?" she posed as a question.

"Let's go swimming," I said, still breathing kind of hard.

"You just want an excuse to take your shirt off," she accused.

"Damn straight. I hate clothes. But seriously, I bet the water feels awesome." I paired the comment with tracing the tips of my fingers down her arm, making her shiver.

"But it'll be so _cold_ when we get out."

"That's a problem for another time. Come on!" I picked her up as I stood to run to the water.

"Aaah! Mikuo!" she screamed as salt water splashed onto her back.

I set her on her feet momentarily so I could strip and throw my shirt and cell phone back at the sand. Then, before she could escape I picked Rin back up and waded deeper as she continued to protest.

"Mikuoooooo, my shorts will get all salty!" she complained. "And I just took a shower this morning." She clung to me so not to touch the water.

Well, I dunked her down anyway. "Too late!" Rin splashed me and I laughed at her. "Careful of the contacts!" I claimed. I started swimming a bit deeper. "See? I told you it felt nice."

Rin quickly caught up to me to halfheartedly punched me in the arm. "Maybe a little bit," she admitted. She hung her arms around my neck, pushing herself up higher. My feet could still touch the bottom here.

I took one of her legs and hooked it on my hip, moving my hand up her thigh. "Rin… You…" I didn't finish. I wasn't sure how to say it without being blunt.

"I…?"

"…Need to shave."

The nice thing about the water is that someone can't kick you quite as hard when you're in it.

0o0o0

**Okay, I **_**know**_** that this chapter took forever, but this thing is over 5000 words long and it has one of my favorite conversations in it. PLUS I gave you a slightly better-written make out scene this time! (Maybe?)**

**You want to hear my excuse this time? Well, LET ME TELL YOU. First, I had a terrible case of writer's block. Like, you don't even know. All of that kinda crummy rushed ADD stuff in the beginning there? That was writer's block. (srry bout that btw. Hopefully it was at least a little funny to make up for it…) NEXT, I [finally] started reading the manga **_**No. 6**_**, and let me tell you, if you have not read this, you freaking need to. Anyone that likes THIS story will LOVE that manga. I'm even putting together a cosplay group for it. It's just that good. Also in the world of cosplay, I started making a Miku Synchronicity cosplay. I'm almost done, but it's been a couple days. THEN, I started playing Tales of Symphonia (for the **_**third**_** time) and I fell in love all over again. Planning a Kratos cosplay and everything. And then I discovered that I can actually make myself look like a dude with makeup…. O.o If you knew what my face looked like, you'd understand why this is such a great feat.**

**Aaaaaaand that's all the excuse that I have.**

**I have absolutely no fuggin clue what I'm going to do next chapter. Except I have one conversation planned… and that's, like, it.**

**FML**


	12. Le Not so Generic Karaoke Scene

**HEY. THIS IS IMPORTANT. I HAVE A NEW STORY COMING UP WITH LUKA AS THE MAIN CHARACTER AND I DON'T EXACTLY KNOW WHO TO PAIR HER WITH. SO. YOU SHOULD GO VOTE. ON MAH POLL. ON MAH PROFILE. KTHNKZ  
**

**I wrote THE ENTIRETY of chapter yesterday. It's shorter than the other ones have been, but it really didn't need to be longer than 2700 words…**

**This chapter contains MY FAVORITE offensive conversation in here. XD Yeah. I kind of make fun of how some people write on this site… NOT NAMES OR ANYTHING. HOLY CRAP THAT WOULD BE MEAN.**

**Regular warnings apply. I don't own Vocaloid! Sucks, doesn't it?**

0o0o0

TiNaF

Chapter 11: Le Not So Generic Karaoke Scene

0o0o0

I woke up the next morning covered in towels and on the couch. Wait… I didn't sleep with anyone, did I? That would be exceptionally awkward… No, I had pants on, so that couldn't be it. Where the hell did my shirt go?

I leaned up, stretching my back as I went. Damn. My shoulders hurt. What was I doing yesterday? Oh yeah, kicking ass and chewing bubble gum. Without the gum. I felt around for my phone and found it underneath my pillow. Why it was under there, I didn't know. I sighed at the time. Nine o'clock. What was wrong with me? Nine is sleeping time. I went to sleep at, like one. I mean, really. Screw life.

"Aw. You woke up," I heard someone pout from the other side of the room. Sounded like… Miki. Yeah. Miki. "I was just about to pour ice water on your face."

I yawned and stretched again. "I'm so sorry to have inconvenienced you. Why am I on the couch?" I asked.

"I dunno. Rin probably didn't want to lug your tired ass upstairs." Miki crossed the room to the kitchen as she spoke. "Luki, on the other hand, was _nice_ enough to take me to my own room." She stuck her tongue out at me.

"I'm surprised his toothpick arms didn't snap under you," I muttered, then spoke louder, "And I'm sure he waited with you until you woke up again."

"No," she moped. "He's still asleep. Didn't even get me a glass of water. I felt like I drank three gallons of salt this morning."

"Don't you have, like, a _serious _hangover, then?"

"Course not. I never get hangovers."

"… How?"

"I just don't. I must have an exceptional liver."

I blinked. "You're going to die of cancer," I murmured.

"Everyone keeps telling me that! So I'm guessing that you and Rin finally screwed last night, right?"

"What?" Ahm, no."

"Seriously? What's wrong with you? Do you not like her or something? It's the boobs, I bet."

"No! I like her just fine. Honestly, I much prefer being annoying little bitch and screwing with her head. Pisses her off so much," I laughed. "Why am I telling you this, anyway?"

"Because I'm such a trustworthy person."

"Actually, it's more psychologically accurate that I felt defensive about your strategically phrased accusations, not necessarily that you are exceptionally 'trustworthy.' The fact that you asked questions designed to get you answers like that suggests that you are used to getting information and, perhaps, occasionally exchanging the information you gain; for favors, right? Though, you probably weren't doing that in this case. Furthermore, I know that is eventually going to get passed on to Rin, which saves me the effort of a second explanation."

"… Um…"

"I'm planning on majoring in psychology in college."

"I can see that."

I flung the rest of the towels off of me and stood to head for the stairs.

"Where are you going?" Miki asked.

"Up to Rin's room. I think she stole my shirt last night."

"Sounds like something she'd do."

I entered without knocking because I'm an ass like that and I found Rin lounging on her bead wearing my shirt and staring at her laptop screen like it was handed to her by Jesus. She looked up only for a moment when I came in.

"Oh, it's you," she said.

"No, it's someone else," I deadpanned sarcastically. "Whatcha doin'?"

"Reading dirty fanfiction," she admitted slowly. "Care to join me?"

I stared at her for a moment. "In a minute. Give me my shirt back."

"I thought you hated clothes."

"It's cold. Give me my shirt back."

She looked at my chest. "You don't look cold."

"I'm very deceptive like that. Give me. My shirt back."

"Make me."

I sighed, walked next to her, poked her sides, and, while she was still caught off guard, ripped my clothes off of her. She made this little "Eep!" sound when I did it, too. It was cute.

"So what are we reading?" I posed, pulling on my shirt and jumping down next to her.

"Apparently it's a 'romantic comedy' of sorts, but the only humorous thing about it is how badly it's written."

I read a couple of paragraphs before answering her. Oh, gawd, how could she stand this for as long as she did? "Seriously. 'Her slit to her nub'? What the fuck is a nub?"

"Whatever it is, I don't think I have one… Mikuo, am I supposed to have a 'nub'?"

"I don't even know… gahd this is embarrassing to read. 'She moved something smooth and warm across my chest. It was her hand.' Well what the fuck else would it be!"

"Maybe it was her nub."

0o0o0

Today felt like a sit-on-the-beach-and-do-nothing kind of day. It was a Sunday after all.

Because we're all _so_ religious out here. *sarcasm*

So it was, I dunno, around noon when Miku and Neru rose to join the rest of us outside. And I was all like—_whoa shit wait_. Was Miku wearing…

"MIKU. WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING? OH GODDAMMIT DON'T SAY THAT WORD," I demanded.

"W-what did I do?" Miku pleaded, grabbing her elbow defensively.

"BIKINI? SERIOUSLY? COVER YOUR FREAKING EVERYING!"

"What the hell, Mikuo? I'm allowed to wear a bikini! Mom picked this one out!"

"YOU ARE _THIRTEEN_ YEARS OLD, MIKU. THAT IS WAY TOO MUCH SKIN. YOU MIGHT AS WELL BE ADVERTIZING YOURSELF ON A NEON SIGN. _PUT A SHIRT ON_," I YELLED.

"Neru has one on, too!" Miku shouted back.

"RIN CAN TAKE CARE OF HER OWN SISTER!"

"Mikuo, isn't that a little harsh?" Rin said timidly next to me.

"Luki! Give your shirt to Miku before she gets molested by a seagull," I commanded.

Luki sighed and did as I said, muttering something about sunburns as he went.

Miku stuck her tongue out at him. "You didn't have to do what he said, you know," she muttered.

"I'm sorry, have you two met? This is your brother. He's a psychotic, sadistic, manipulative sociopath."

Rin nudged me on the side, "Psychotic, sadistic, manipulative sociopath?" she said questioningly.

"Haven't you noticed? I'm really not very discreet about it," I stated.

"He really isn't," Luka added. "He's just so good at it, you don't even notice."

"See? Even Luka agrees!"

"We need some music up in hither!" Miki shouted off-topic.

"What about Hitler?" Luki asked.

"_Hither._ Not Hitler, you dumbass!"

"Damn, Miki. You shouldn't be talking about things like that. Holocaust jokes are bad."

"Holy god, nobody say a word about Anne Frank," I butted in.

"… Can I say something about Stalin?" Miki inquired.

"No!"

"… How about Mussolini—"

"_No_ dictator jokes."

"It hurts his pride when you talk about all of those guys that were better at controlling people than he is," Luka claimed.

"Shaddup!"

"What are we talking about way over here?" I heard a semi-familiar voice query. I looked at the source for an identity. Tall-ish. Silvery hair. Eyes weird as hell.

"Oh, Piko, right? What brings you all the way over here?" I said.

He shrugged. "I got bored," he explained. Legitimate reason.

"Wait. You said your name's Piko?" Miki started. "That doesn't, by any chance, have anything to do with _Boku no Piko_ right?"

"Uh, no. Not related," Piko answered with some concern in his voice.

"Are you really, like, some big porn star? Is Piko your stripper name? That's a pretty hot stripper name. If I were still a stripper, my name would be 'Fu Fu Berry'," Miki rambled.

Oh my god, Miki! You can't just ask someone if they're a stripper! You're freaking the guy out!" Rin snapped. "I'm sorry; she's always like this."

"Anyone else catch that Miki said she used to be a stripper?" Yu called. "Anyone? Okay, then."

"I caught it," Luki said.

"Miki, when the hell were you a stripper?" I raised.

"In Japan. When I was sixteen and seventeen. It wasn't legal but since Westerners look older than Asians I got away with it. Oh yeah, and some illegal papers helped. Don't tell anyone," she requested.

"So you're eighteen? Piko said. Huh. Forgot he was here for a sec there. "What about everyone else?"

"Those two nubs back there are thirteen." Rin snickered at my choice of words. "The one with the boobs is sixteen, and everyone else is seventeen as far as I know," I narrated. "And you?"

"Same as, ah, Miki. Sorry, it make take me a moment to memorize everyone's names," Piko apologized.

"That's fine. Mikuo still doesn't know Yuuma's name and they've known each other for a couple weeks, now," Rin defended.

"You still don't know my name?" Yu asked.

"Not a fucking letter."

"You people amuse me. Mind if I hang around here for now? The strangers at my place piss me off," Piko remarked.

"Sure, sure. Hey, has anyone ever said you remind them of _The Great Gatsby_?" I said.

"No, but I'd say that's a pretty good metaphor," he mused.

Great book. I never got past chapter one, though. True story.

Piko started lounging around with us, and, as it turned out, he was pretty cool. And entertaining.

"So, Piko. Do you have a girlfriend back at home?" Luka was asking.

"Nah," he said. "I broke up with my 'significant other' before summer. Long-distance just doesn't work for me."

"Aw. That's too bad," Luka sympathized. "What was her name?"

"Oliver."

"Oliver? Wait, isn't that…"

"Huh? _Oh. _Yeah it's a boy's name. I'm bi. Did I mention that before? Mah bad."

"Ooh. Sounds sexy," Luka hummed. "So, tell me about this 'Oliver' fellow."

"Hey, Mikuo," Miki started, taking my attention away from eavesdropping.

"What do you want 'Fu Fu'?" I asked. That nickname was going to stick.

"I was just thinking; we should all have stripper names, don't you think?" she suggested. "I mean, they might come in handy someday, ya know? We should be prepared."

"… Are you still drunk from last night?"

"I'm serious!" Yours could have something to do with your super nice ass and Luka's would mention her boobs and stuff like that. I bet I can come up with some really nice names of everyone." She smiled playfully at me at the end. It was kinda weird.

"Whatever you want, Miki."

"I was thinking about "Iron Man' for Luki."

"Why in the world would his name be…?" I trailed off when I took in the deer-in-headlights look on Miki's face. She probably didn't mean to say that out loud… "That look has tmi written all over it."

She disregarded me and continued. "Then Rin's should be 'Iced Lemonade' since ice always makes things sexier. Luka could be "Melon Drop." If you saw how she dances then you'd understand. And Yuuma's should be 'Twilight Sparkle,' because of the hair, you know?"

I facepalmed.

"So that just leaves you. Hmm…"

I stood up and started to leave.

"No, Mikuo! I still haven't thought of a name yet!"

I pointed to the tattoo on my back with my thumb as I walked away. "Get creative!" I called.

Back inside, I realized just how bored I was without other people surrounding me… I'm so inter personal. I grabbed a random fruit out of some bowl in the kitchen then sought out entertainment around the television. At that moment, I noticed the PS3, just sitting there on top of the DVD/Blu-ray disk player, simply _begging _to be touched. A cabinet underneath the T.V. held a small treasury of games: and that's when I saw it. The most wonderful game in the entire world that had to be banned from my household because of the disturbance that I caused from playing it all the time.

Dance. Dance. Revolution.

It was set up in less than a minute. How long had it been since I had last toyed with this baby? Weeks? _Months_? Whenever I last went to an arcade? (I could not tell you how much money I have wasted on arcades because of this stupid game omigod.)

Well, if you haven't guessed by now, I'm kind of a god at this game. There wasn't an anything I couldn't beat. Well, Step Mania didn't work too well for me, tbh, but that's because it's made for fingers, not feet.

Damn. Luki had, like, NOTHING beat on this thing. He's almost half as decent as me. What's wrong with him? So I just started playing down the list. I won't go in depth about how pro I am at this, but let's just say I got into a text conversation with a couple different people in the middle of a song or two, while simultaneously eating an apple.

I got tired after around ten songs so I took a break to throw away my apple core n junk. Oh, and um, apparently everyone else had moved inside roughly eight minutes prior and they may or may not have been the ones texting me earlier trying to distract me. Heh.

I smiled at Rin, who stared back with her mouth agape. "Do me," she said. "Just… Right fucking now. The bathroom is literally right there." She pointed out to the side. "Omigod how did you not fall over?"

"Balance." I kept on grinning. "Anyone care to join me for the next song?" I offered. When I was met by blunt silence, I went on, "How about karaoke?"

"Yeah. I can be down with that." "Sounds lovely." "Better than dancing games." "No wonder your ass stays so nice."

You can guess who said that last comment there.

Now, I wasn't exactly the best singer in the world… Well, I wasn't terrible but I also wasn't, like, Whitney Houston or anything.

"I'll go first!" Miki exclaimed. "I've had a hankerin' to sing some Brittany Spears for weeks."

"'Hankerin',' Miki? Seriously?" Neru said.

"Shut up, nub," Rin hissed. "Don't criticize my hung-over friend's speech patterns."

"Whatever," Neru scoffed. Ungrateful little bitch, wasn't she…

Well, I'm sure that if Miki was… um… _trying… _to sound well, she wouldn't have sounded nearly as "interesting" as she did.

"Miki, you were terrible," Rin sighed, sounding everyone's thoughts. "That had to have been on purpose, you sounded so bad."

"Of course it was; I hate Brittany Spears!" she chirped.

"Course you do. Well, I'm going next!" Rin said, reaching out for the mic. "Someone plug in a microphone for Yuuma. We're singing a duet."

"Wait, what?" Yu sputtered, staring at Rin hopelessly. "Says who?"

"Says me! Remember that duet we learned that one time for that thing?"

Not. Vague. At all.

"Aaaaaaa—Oh! That one. Um, sure? I guess so…" he mumbled.

So if any of you guys know the song "Lucky" by Jason Mraz and some other chick that got featured, that's what they sang. Sweet Jesus. Rin's voice was like what would happen if you ripped out an angel's vocal cords and shoved them into a chick's throat. And pared with Yu's voice? Damn, he wasn't bad himself.

Well, heh, this next part was a little funny. And I mean that in the _truest_ sense of the word. So, you know how people get really in to singing and it makes everything awesome and shit? Well, they were in to it. Sounded great, too, I assure you. So great that, and here comes the funny part, they _kissed_ each other at the end! Isn't that hi-freakin-larious! Hell, I almost laughed out loud! But, instead, I found myself immobile. Almost laughed though! Almost.

Rin's eyes went wide and she broke away as soon as she realized what was happening. She made eye contact with me for a moment before she shot up the stairs, in the blink of an eye. Yu took a bit longer to react, but he didn't look at any of us before dashing up after, cursing under his breath.

I shifted my eyes to the rest of the people in the room. Not one of them was turned away from me. Made me feel all special inside.

I blinked slowly, trying to process the situation for an extended moment. I opened my mouth then closed it. I couldn't even think of something reckless and stupid to do in response. I mean, there was nothing of impact I could do that wouldn't be self-destructive. What good would that be? Honestly, I had _no idea_ how to react.

"Mikuo…" Miki started slowly. "Are you okay?"

"That was a great song they sang, don't you think?"

0o0o0

**Oh crap. OH CRAP. Love triangle. Holy jizz the author better freaking fix this mess, like, FUGGING SOON. **

**Wait a second…**

**DIMMIT. Why did I do that?**

**I hate love triangles, but you know, it just came to me. How did I not see this coming?**

***sigh* Somebody review and tell me how to get out of this mess…**

**ANONYMOUS:**

**Joker: IT'S OKAY I STILL LOVER YOU EVEN THOUGH YOU ONLY REVIEWED WITH, LIKE, 7000 WORDS THIS TIME INSTEAD OF LIEK 30,000. Hope the drama dies down soon. ~ Hate that junk.**

**AliasStars: LOL GLAD TO SEE THAT YOU ENJOYED YOURSELF. Don't worry. I guess I can think of something…**

**THANKS FOR READING, EVERYONE!**


	13. Never have I Ever Played Truth or Dare

**Well I decided as I was reading through this chapter to edit (I know, it's still rough, but it's late and I am freaking tired), that it goes best with inappropriate Nightcore music. So I'd suggest listening to that for the full experience.**

**There is absolutely no plot in this chapter. It is 6000 words of filler and crack (funny crack, but still kinda crack… I hate crack). Unless you count Rinkuo scenes as plot, in which case this chapter is simply secreting it. **

**It's rated T for a reason… And vocaloid is not has belong to me.**

**WTF. SERIOUSLY? THAT LAST SENTENCE WAS GRAMATICALLY CORRECT? YOU ARE SCREWING ME.**

**Fav line in this is in the first paragraph. Can you guess what it is? XDD**

0o0o0

TiNaF

Chapter 12: Never have I Ever Played Truth or Dare

0o0o0

The rest of that night, erm, went on relatively smoothly, I guess. Neither Rin nor Yu returned for the remainder of the evening so the rest of us tried to keep things all jolly and good until the losers got tired and went to sleep. Well, that happened to be the one thing I couldn't do for the life of me. I tried watching movies until I got tired, stalking Facebook for an hour, hell, I made a Neopets account. All to no avail. My mind continued to stay restless. I got to the point of taking a shower at, like, six in the morning; I was so fracking bored.

Okay, so I am, like, _literally_ about to step into the shower and someone starts knocking on my door like they just set the house on fire. I groaned, turning on the water so it could get hot while I told whoever to gtfo. Slinging a towel around my waist, because I in no way had the energy or respect to put pants on for this person, I opened the door.

"Luka. Why in the world are you knocking on my door at this hour?" I demanded, somewhat surprised.

"I just came here so you wouldn't slam the door closed as soon as you saw Rin's face," Luka said, stepping to the side and shoving Rin into me.

She looked up at my link a scared puppy and, taking in the icy stare I was giving her, sputtered, "A-ah. Never mind, Luka. I don't think I want to do this anymore." But, unfortunately for her, Luka had already escaped, closing the door behind her as she ran for her pathetic little existence.

"What the hell do you want?" I said lowly, pushing her off of my chest with one finger to the collarbone. That's not being too cold, right?

"I… um… I wanted… to… apologize for how I behaved earlier yesterday. The whole incident and the song and… It was just really bad, wasn't it? Uh, don't answer that. But I… wanted to know if there was any way you could… forgive me?" The inflection of her voice rose as I slowly took her into my arms at the end of her pseudo-apology, resting my chin on top of her head.

"Do you know how that made me feel, when you did that, Rin?" I started slowly. "Because even I couldn't figure it out until very recently. Can you take a guess?"

"U-unhappy?" she stuttered.

"Angry. Very, _very_ angry, actually," I stated calmly. "In a way that made me want to make you two pay—in very different ways, might I add."

"What are these 'ways' you speak of?" Rin asked.

In a single, very fluid movement, I fell back onto my bed, forcing Rin to sit over me. "I'll let you take a stab at that one, too." I didn't actually give her the opportunity to reply, though, because I was too busy punching her in the face with my mouth.

Rin didn't hesitate to kiss me back, either, which made me feel accomplished, yet, at the same time, made something seethe inside of me as I wondered if she'd be just this eager for anyone. I slyly slid my fingers into her hair and moved another hand down her side. She took that opportunity to pull back.

"But w-what about first impressions?" Rin asked hastily.

"Rin, if you haven't noticed already, I am _exceptional_ when I'm pissed."

I returned my lips to hers (oh mai gahd, is there possibly a way to word that without it sounding _so_ ridiculously cheesy?). She let out a slight moan as she kissed me back. I don't know about you, but for me, _holy dammit_, just seeing the word "moan" is, like, the biggest turn-on ever. I mean, if you can think of anything better, I don't know, you must be the King of Po—cough, ah—Corn…

I groaned as Rin lowered herself onto me. Dang her skin was hot. And that was all the way through her t-shirt. Granted, it wasn't like that had very thick fabric, so I could kind of just about feel every detail of her body, to the point of… Did she have a bra on? I mean, it certainly didn't feel like it. I'm just saying, but that was probably not the best decision she ever made in her life, coming to my room without layering. That is a recipe for disaster, right there. I began peeling back her shirt, feeling my hands up along the small of her back… then the middle… and her shoulders…

That's where she stopped me.

"No," she panted. "Something just doesn't feel right."

I sighed, rolling my neck a bit and placing my hands behind my head. "Whatever, Rin. I have a shower to tend to, anyway," I said, starting to sit up and making Rin come with me. I paused then kissed her once more, _venomously_, before getting up, walking to the bathroom and shutting the door behind me.

Maybe a minute passed before I found myself smirking at the sound of the door opening.

0o0o0

It was, like, nine forty-five when Rin started punching me in the back (with her fist) for me to wake up. Of course, I'd been aware for half an hour already since I was such a motherfuggin insomniac.

"Wake up," she mumbled, though she sounded so tired it was more like she was talking to herself.

"I am awake," I replied. Damn, I was thirsty. Was I smart enough to keep water around here? Looking… looking… Nope. I wasn't.

"Turn over so I don't have to talk to your tattoo," she murmured.

"Ugh," I huffed, turning to face her. She had her eyes closed and her hair was a bit rustled. "You sure you're awake enough to talk?" I teased.

"Shaddup," she slurred. "It's the easiest way for me to wake up."

"How do you wake up for school, then? Or whenever you're alone?"

"I call my sister."

"Every morning?"

"I am her alarm clock."

"What happens if you sleep in?" I asked, poking her side.

She squeaked and shot up into a sitting position, holding the sheets around her torso as if it suddenly mattered if I saw her topless now.

I mean, it's not like she just took a shower with me this morning or anything.

"Don't poke me!" she yelled.

"I was waking you up," I said, yawning and stretching my shoulders. I noticed Rin staring at me and I twisted my eyebrows at her. "Wut?"

"I'm sorry, just… is it totally weird for me to ask if I can just blatantly stare at your abs for a second?"

"Um, yeah. That's totally weird."

"… But can I?"

"Pfft. You can attempt to sneak sidelong glances just like everyone else," I scoffed.

"But," she began, trailing her hands across my chest before lying down against me and winding her arms around my neck. I couldn't suppress a shiver. "I thought I was special," she hummed into my ear.

"You're the first person I've let invade my bathroom before. Surely that counts for something."

"Really? I'm surprised at you. I expected you to be the 'do it in the shower' type of guy, honestly."

"Yeah. That was the only time I ever got alone. You have stripped me of my last comfort in life. You should feel proud."

"Speaking of stripping… Where are my clothes?"

"Well _I_ didn't take them off of you. How should I know?"

"Oh yeah… I'll check the bathroom." She started to get up but stopped suddenly. "D-don't look at me."

I chuckled at her. "Why not?"

"B-because shut up!" She threw a pillow at my head. "Hold this over your eyes until I tell you it's safe."

I laughed at her but did it anyway. "If you would, consider saying so before I suffocate," I mentioned.

"Oh, gawd, I smell like you," Rin complained from across the room.

"Dude, I just took a shower three hours ago. What is so wrong with smelling like me?"

"_I smell like a man!_" she exclaimed.

"Good. You should become more manly. You're so submissive." Heh. I'd know.

"Oh my gawd; please, _stop talking_," Rin begged.

"See? There it is."

Rin stomped over to me, swiped the pillow off of my face, and thumped me on the forehead. I winced a little and looked down.

"Are you going to put pants on? Nice underwear, by the way. Lace. That's attractive."

"Oh, jesumus, why did I sleep with you?" she sighed, going back to put on her shorts.

*cough* "Twice." *cough*

"LEAVING NOW BYE!"

"Don't let the door hit you on the way out."

She gave me the finger. Lol. I love my job.

0o0o0

However later. I decided to put clothes on and walk downstairs for some breakfast or something. I was _freaking starving_, no surprise there, and had a serious craving for some mthfkn cheerios.

I was surprised to see that there was only one person awake down in the sitting area, even more surprised that it was Paco—oh, dammit—Piko, I mean. Piko.

"What the hell are you doing awake and over here?" I posed.

"Miki let me in about an hour ago," he explained absently, playing some game on his phone.

"Miki was _awake_ an hour ago?"

"I think she was sleepwalking. She passed out again behind that couch over there," he replied, pointing over his shoulder across the room.

"Figures."

"Did you know that every day, about twelve children are given to the wrong parents?"

"Um, no… Well wait; how do the parents figure out it's not their kid?"

"I dunno. Maybe they try to give a black baby to an Asian couple."

"Oh my gawd, that would be hilarious."

"I know right? The dad would be so confused."

"He'd be all like, "WAIFU! Y U NO MAKE WHITE BABY!"

"Holy god, I would laugh my ass off."

"Nng. What are we talking about?" I heard a small voice sound from behind the couch. "How… did I get here?" Miki stood up, rubbing the back of her head.

Couldn't stop staring. Even if I wanted to. "Miki… where are your clothes…?" I asked hesitantly.

"Where are my… OH, _JESUS_!" she screamed, crouching behind the couch again.

"Piko, I think you cleverly avoided that whole 'half-naked' detail earlier," I said bluntly.

"Oh, yeah. She was in her underwear," he said, still toying with his phone.

"SOMEBODY GET ME A BLANKET OR SOMETHING!" Miki squeaked.

"What the _hell_ is all of the screaming about down here?" Luki groaned from the staircase.

"Your girlfriend is naked behind the couch," I said.

"Dammit. Always when other people are around," he cursed, dashing back upstairs.

"Was that Luki? Is he bringing me something to cover up with?" Miki asked, still in hiding.

"Knowing Luki, he probably just forgot his phone," I murmured. "Piko, what are you playing that is so captivating?" I requested louder.

"Tetris. Gotta beat my record," he answered. Of course he did.

Luki returned, cell phone in hand, and he plopped himself down onto the couch Miki was sheltering behind. "How you doing back there darling?" he said.

Miki used about every curse word under the sun at that point. Meanwhile, I was remembering the reason I came down in the first place and turned back to the kitchen for my cereal. And some water. Still thirsty.

And then Yu came downstairs. "I heard something about naked people and cell phones, so I felt I needed to see what was going on," he said slowly.

"GODDAMMIT. SERIOUSLY, GUYS? _ALL_ OF THE MALES IN THIS ENTIRE HOUSE DECIDE TO COME DOWN _NOW_?" Miki complained.

"I can pretend that I'm completely gay if that'll make it less awkward for you," Piko offered. I snickered a bit.

"Oh, come on, Miki. We've all seen you in a bikini. It's not like it's any worse," I insisted.

"_It's not the saaaaaame_!" she cried.

"Plus, two out of four people here have seen you _completely_ naked," Luki added. "So this is really an improvement.

"Three," Piko couched. "You should have seen her dancing at the party before you showed up, Luki. I see how Fu Fu Berry earned her name," he marveled.

"Sh-shut up! Dammit!" Miki yelled.

"Oh, that was her? I thought that girl looked familiar," Yu said. Dang. I shouldn't have wasted all that time drinking.

You may have noticed, I'm sort of trying not to patronize Yu too much because, well, it would kind of totally suck to stay so bent out of shape over something that didn't really happen on purpose and, tbh, I feel sorry for the guy. Plus I screwed his ex this morning.

"What in the _world_ are you guys snickering about down here?" Miku yawned as she emerged from the hallway.

"Miku? Miku is that you? Oh, thank god. Save me!" Miki squealed.

"Wha—?" Miku apparently wasn't used to being approached by Miki. "Why do you need me…?"

"BECAUSE I AM NAKED BEHIND THE COUCH. HURRY SO YOU CAN COVER ME," Miki hissed.

"Why couldn't you just tell these guys to shield their eyes?"

"Because they're assshooolleessss," she whimpered.

So Miku guided Miki carefully out of our sight just as I finished pouring my cereal. I sat at the breakfast bar and proceeded to eat slowly as I stared at everyone in the living room, kind of like a vulture watching a wounded baby dear. It didn't really seem to bother anyone except for Yu, so I stared at him more notably than the others. And he started staring back. It turned into a contest. I had gone fifteen minutes without blinking before, though, so it was inevitable that I was going to win.

Then Luka just _had_ to come down and spoil all the fun. "Why are you two making faces at each other?" she asked.

"Staringcontestshh," I rushed.

So she started watching. Then Miku and Neru came down and joined in. And finally Rin and Miki. We were all just staring at each other. I had no idea how long it had been, and my eyes were burning like a thousand suns, but it was one of those things where you start and you simply cannot stop. It's like… it's like when you start rubbing your eye and you just couldn't stop rubbing for the life of you because it feels sooo gooood even though it's not even itchy anymore. But it's too late, and you're never stop rubbing your eye because god never invented the eyegasm so it will NEVER STOP feeling good. It's like endlessly screwing your face.

"Twenty bucks to whoever blinks first," Luki called.

I closed my eyes immediately.

"Jk, you greedy bitch," he spat.

"Dammit."

"What the hell are we doing?" Luka came out suddenly. "We have been staring at Mikuo for, like ten minutes. Just because it's a Monday doesn't mean it has to suck ass like a Monday."

"We should go out somewhere!" Miku chimed in.

"Nub has a point," I said… pointedly. "Let's go to that boardwalk place near here. It's within walking distance, right Luki?"

"Sure. Let's go," he agreed.

"I'll get my purse!" Luka sang.

0o0o0

I was honestly so bored that the idea of following the girls into all of the tourist traps and obscure shops that their little hearts desired was appealing. Before we knew it, it was nearing sunset. We found some large picnic-esque area to sit around and talk at. It was nice because the restaurant across the street had music that was way too loud, so there was something in the background.

"You know what we should do?" Miki stated impishly.

"… No. _Please_ enlighten us. What should we do?" I said to break the silence that followed her suggestion.

"Play Truth or Dare!" she said.

"Seriously? That game is so cliché," Neru criticized.

"I think it sounds fun," Miku mumbled.

"I don't see why not," Piko added. "Let's do it."

"Okay, but keep it relatively clean," Rin said hesitantly. "There are young ones present."

"They listen to music, don't they? I don't think there's anything we can say that they haven't heard already repeated on an endless loop in the chorus of a Rhianna song," I assured.

"Let's start!" Miki exclaimed. "Umm… Luka! Truth or dare?"

"A-ah. Truth," Luka stuttered.

"You're no fun!" Miki complained. "Okay… Do you own a thong?"

"What kind of question is that!"

"Just answer it!"

"… Yes," Luka mumbled. Luki started cracking up next to her. "Oh, you think it's funny, then? Okay, Luki. Truth or dare?"

"Dare me, sis," he chortled.

"I dare you to let me shave a design into your leg hair."

"W-what?"

Luka pulled a razor out of her purse (what the fxck) and crouched down to start her work.

"What are you making!" Luki demanded.

"Chill out! It's just a star! With a heart in the middle…"

"Dammit, Luka," he hissed. "Miki. Truth or dare?"

"Dare! Definitely!"

"Flash a stranger."

There was an awkward silence. The look on her face told me she was having flashbacks from this morning.

"Did you hear me? Flash. A stranger. Look, there's one walking by now," he said, jutting a thumb toward some poor, innocent bystander.

She got up warily and walked toward the random guy. "Umm…" she started out, "Hey, I just met you, and this is _crazy_, but… I got dared to flash you." The guy's face went STARK red and Miki pulled up her shirt for a split second before adding, "Thanks for your time!" and running away laughing. "_Did you see his face! He was so confused_!" She giggled for a few more seconds. "Oh yeah. Rin; truth or dare?"

"Dare," Rin replied confidently.

"Sit in Mikuo's lap for the rest of the game," she said sinisterly.

"Um… Okay, I guess that's not that bad. "She stood up from where she was sitting and crossed to my bench.

"Don't worry," I whispered into her ear. "I'll do my best to make it as miserable as possible for you." And I poked her. She squeaked and jumped off of me.

"Crap! Stop doing that!" she ordered. "Uh… Piko. Truth or dare?"

"Truth me something."

"Most embarrassing childhood memory."

"I had to get a shot in my ass for strep throat once. That kinda sucked."

"… It's so hard being you, isn't it," Rin said monotonously.

He just grinned. "Yuuma, truth or dare."

"Truth," Yu answered safely, or so he thought.

"If you were gay, which guy here would be the hottest?" Piko asked deviously.

"How am I supposed to know that!"

"Answer the question!"

"Fuck dammit. Well, Miki is always going on about Mikuo's ass sooo…"

"Oh, Yu, I'm flattered," I laughed."

"Miku. Truth or dare?" Yu moved on quickly.

"Truth?" Miku said hesitantly.

"If this place were on fire and you could only save either the person on your left or your right, who would you choose?"

Miku happened to be sitting between me/Rin and Neru. She thought about it only for a moment, then answered, "Neru, since my brother has already given himself plenty of opportunities to pass his genes to the next generation, and that just wouldn't be fair for everyone else."

I shot her a nasty glare and she stuck her tongue out at me. Luki was trying desperately not to let the amusement show on his face along with Yuuma and Luka.

"Rin; truth or dare?"

"Me again?" she complained. I poked her again to make her twitch. "Truth, since the last dare did me _so_ much good," she said sarcastically.

"Was that you I heard in my brother's room this morning?"

Rin's heartbeat sped up and I felt her skin get warmer. "A-ahm…"

"How the hell were you listening to my room, little twerp!" I snapped. "I had the shower on and everything…"

"LUKA TRUTH OR DARE?" Rin huffed, trying to rebound after the last round.

"Dare."

"I dare you to dare Mikuo something because I can't think of anything good for him to do!"

Luka grinned devilishly. "Mikuo, I dare you to dare Rin to have to take off one article of clothing every time someone chooses dare. Starting now."

"WHAT THE—_what the fuck is wrong with you!_" Rin demanded.

"Just get on with the dare, Rin," Miki chastised. "Your shoes can count as an article."

Rin grumbled something about hating this game as she kicked off her sandals. "I guess it's my turn again, and since LUKA FAILED SO HARD LAST TIME, Mikuo: truth or dare?"

"I'll let you dare me, babe," I sneered.

Rin pointed to a cup that Piko was holding. "Is that only ice in there?"

Piko took a sip from it. "It is now," he said, passing the cup down to her.

"Okay, Mikuo," Rin began, getting up off of me. "I'd like you to stand up for me and stay very, very still for me, okay?"

I stood warily as she unbuttoned the front of my shorts, and Piko whistled.

"You wouldn't," I growled.

"Oh, but I would," she said sweetly, and poured the ice down the front of my pants.

"HOLY SHIT DAMN THAT IS MOTHERHUGGING COLD!" I yelled, jumping. "DAMMIT, MIKU, DON'T SAY THAT." I attempted to work the ice off of my crotch, without stuffing a hand down my pants, almost successfully, then sat back down, muttering my disapproval.

"That was very graceful, Mikuo," Miki laughed. "Alright, Rin. Strip."

Rin pouted a bit then removed her t-shirt, revealing a tank top underneath. "It was worth it." Rin sat back down and shivered a bit. Maybe should have thought about the temperature before SHOVING ICE DOWN MY PANTS.

"Let me think… Neru. Truth or dare?" I said.

"Truth, because I'm so nice to my sister."

"Oh, I was hoping you'd say that. So. Ever fantasized about anyone here?"

Her eyes widened and her cheeks flushed as she stammered, "N-no!"

"Oh, come on! Don't be shy. Who was it?"

"Definitely not you!" she hissed.

I chortled. (Lol. Chortled. Funny word, I'm just saying.) "Well fine then. Don't tell us."

"Luki, truth or dare?" Neru hissed, avoiding all eye contact.

"Dare," he said, casting Rin an amused glance.

"I dare you to wear Miki's bra, in any fashion you want, for the rest of the game." I was waiting for someone to pull the underwear card.

"Oh, dammit," Miki said, trying to unhook the thing without flashing anybody else. "Here you go, Luki. Look; it matches your hair."

Miku was about to burst next to me, meanwhile Neru just about exploded, while Luki was trying to put it on, and struggling to do so.

"Miki, you're too small. It doesn't fit," he griped.

"Wear it as a necklace," I called.

He pointed at me. "THAT… is a good idea."

Rin was laughing, too, so I decided to remind her of her dare earlier, but ya know, words are for losers so instead I just started, ever so slowly, slipping her shirt up.

That got me a slap. To the face.

"Stoppit!" she scolded.

"I was just giving you a gentle reminder!" I defended.

"You were feeling me up!" she countered.

"LADIES, PLEASE," Miku called. "CHILLAX."

"Luuuukaaaaa, can my jewelry count as one article of clothing?" Rin asked in an obnoxiously needy voice.

"Are you wearing a swimsuit today?" Luka replied.

"… Maybe…" Rin said reluctantly.

"Then hell no!" Luka retorted cheerfully.

Rin sulked a bit and started taking off her shirt.

"You know, I could have done that for you two minutes ago. I offered and everything," I whispered into her ear. She elbowed me.

"Alright, Luka," Luki began, "truth or dare?"

"Dare me, brother!" she exclaimed. Rin groaned.

"I dare you to convince a stranger to give you their shirt. Oh, and you have to act drunk."

Luka stood up very slowly, stumbling up to the first guy she saw. She half-collapsed onto him and clung onto his shirt for dear life. "Heeeyyyyyy," she greeted hazily. "Aaiii… uh… oh, yeah. Uhm, ai need chu to give me yur shirtt," she slurred, acting like she was distracted by the fabric.

"Uh, no, I don't think so," the stranger replied.

"But puhuleeazze~? My, heehee, mai freenddd ovar thur, um, she _neeeds_ it."

"You… sound like you need to sober up," the guy observed.

"I'll give yuu _ten dolllarz_ for your shirtt," Luka persisted. "Dat'z enuff to bai a new won."

"Listen, I'm not going to just sell you my—" Luka cut the guy off _with her mouth_. I lol'd so hard.

She kept on kissing this stranger and easily slipped his shirt off while he was distracted. Pulling away, she winked at him and threw a ten-dollar bill at him before skipping away.

Back in the circle, she looked hard at Miku and Neru. "Never do that," she commanded. "That was dangerous and stupid; Mikuo already does enough of that for the both of you." They both nodded slowly as I gave Luka an "unamused" look. Luka threw the guy's shirt to Rin. "This can count as your stripping for this round."

"Aww," I mumbled, wrapping my arms around her waist. Rin didn't appear to be too happy about my move, but she didn't stop it either. Score one for me.

"I PROPOSE A GROUP DARE!" Miki yelled in all caps.

"What kind of group dare?" Piko led on suspiciously.

"Everyone must switch one article of clothing that is on their body with another person and wear it. It doesn't matter what you trade or who you trade with, but you have to do it or, I dunno, Mikuo and Piko will throw you head first into the ocean." Miki rushed.

"… No." I said

"Why the hell not!" Miki snapped. "Okay. Know what? Whatever. Who wants to move on to 'Never have I Ever'?"

"'Never have I Ever'?" Piko posed. "What's that?"

Miki gaped at him. "You have not LIVED. Okay, first, we all need to get everyone's least favorite drink."

"Why?"

"JUST DO IT."

0o0o0

So now we're all sitting in a circle on the beach and it's kind of getting dark. Well, I say all of us but we sent the young ones back already, since we're so responsible; and because the statements in this game are much, much worse than truth or dare.

"Alright. I shall now explain, for Piko, how this game works. We'll go around the circle and each person will something they've never done before then whoever _has_ done that thing has to take a swig of their 'favorite' drink. I'll go first. Never have I ever… gotten a cavity." Okay. Maybe not everything is inappropriate.

Both Rin and Luka cursed and drank. I think Rin had a chocolate power shake of sorts and Luka had tomato juice. In fact, I'll go ahead and get everyone drinks out of the way, so read if you care.

In no particular order:

Miki- seawater (because she will drink _anything_)

Piko- peach tea

Yu- that disgusting fruit juice stuff with vegetables mixed in

Luki- beef broth (my idea)

And me with black coffee.

"My turn!" Rin yipped. "Umm… Never have I ever seen Miki topless." Everyone muttered something vulgar at that. "Seriously! You have all see that? What the hell!"

I shrugged. "You're really missing out, Rin. Never have I ever learned the lyrics to a Lady Gaga song," I admitted.

Luka stared, dumbfounded next to me. "And you say _Rin _is missing out? Do you even know what a radio is?" she asked.

"Shut up, Luka."

"Screw it. Never have I ever had sex on the beach," she sighed.

"Which one? Drink or the act?" Piko inquired.

"Either."

He and I drank to that, coughing a little afterward. "Oh, that stuff is nasty," Piko muttered. "You know, you guys have really boring things you haven't done. Never have _I_ ever given someone a lap dance." That's nice to hear. I'd be a li'l' worried if you had.

All of the girls. ALL OF THEM. And I think Yu looked a bit embarrassed, too. Heheh. I know who Rin was pleasing.

"Why didn't I get one, huh?" I murmured in her ear. She avoided my gaze.

"Ahem," Luki coughed. "Never have I ever had sex in a sleeping bag," he sneered.

"Daaaaaamn," I whined. Remember what I said about hating coffee? Yeah. I'd rather be eating sand right now. I mean, come on. It would be really easy to just switch to eating sand. I was freaking _surrounded_ by sand. It would be totally okay. "Really? I'm the only one? That's embarrassing."

Yu's turn. "Never have I ever played strip poker."

"WELL THANKS I'VE DONE THAT, TOO. How about I just down this entire thing of freaking coffee?" I griped.

"Stop complaining, Mikuo! You're so whiney!" Miki yelled. "Never have I ever lied about my virginity."

"Fuck this game!" I shouted.

At least Luki, Rin, and Piko got to suffer with me.

Rin's turn again. "Never have I ever gotten a tattoo."

"WELL I SEE TODAY JUST MUST BE 'PICK ON MIKUO DAY'," I hissed. "Never have I ever had sex on a washing machine." Luki shot me a nasty look. "Payback, bitch."

"Hate this freaking cow juice," he muttered.

"Okay, this is the last one, then we go swimming. You ready?" Luka announced. "Okay. Never have I ever… had a threesome."

"HOLY GOD DAMMIT I GIVE UP!" I exclaimed, throwing my coffee into the air behind me. "Getting in the ocean now. Kthanksbye." I left my phone in Rin's lap as an ending to my little dramatic exit then charged for the water. I heard people coming up behind me, too, eventually.

Now, this chapter is getting kinda long. Should I go ahead and stop it here, or slip in some more making out? I mean, I really like making out; it's great fun. But _two_ make out sessions in one chapter? Isn't that a little much?

Of course it's not. You perverts could never get your fix with that sad little 406-word drabble at the beginning, there. That's like only eating one potato chip. I mean, come on. That's crazy.

Aight, so… where was I… Oh, yes. Rin and I had swum a ways out to a sandbar so that we could stand in—what was it—chest-deep water, I guess. That sounds right.

Rin draped her arms around my neck, teasing me with her body close but not touching me. She was pale in the moonlight, and I stared at her, not trying to be discreet about it. She was easy eye candy, even though she was about as busty as a cave. I caught myself licking my lips as I looked down at her.

"What? This morning wasn't enough for you?" Rin taunted.

"The average male thinks about sex nineteen times a day. Of course it's not enough," I growled. "You know what confuses me?"

"What confuses you?"

"Actually, it's two things. First, how absolutely, ridiculously hormonal you are. You're the bluntest person I've met in my life. And secondly, how in to you I am."

"Oh? Care to elaborate?" she posed.

"I was sure that as soon as we slept together, I would get over you like I always do; no offense, of course. But I didn't, and it's so weird."

"_Now_ I feel a bit more special," Rin said, smiling a bit and pulling herself closer to me, close enough to brush against me, only barely.

"And you're so manipulative," I hummed. "I must either secretly be a masochist for that, or maybe I just admire our similarity." I closed the space between our bodies, my hand on her lower back, and she gasped at the contact. "I'm surely going to regret saying this, but… wanna be my girlfriend?"

She immediately brought our lips together, the joy radiating off of her. You'd think she just got Iron Man to sign her boobs or something. "Hell to the yes," she said.

I smirked at her. "I was afraid you'd say that." I kissed her again, starting out soft, but quickly escalating to the point that I couldn't stop myself even if I wanted to. I felt my hands up her sides, having to stop myself from fiddling with the strings on her bikini, since we were so easy to spot _in the middle of the ocean_. Rin, in turn, wrapped her long, slender legs around me, and I pulled her up onto me. "So did you enjoy it?" I breathed. "This morning?"

"Of course," she panted in between kissing me. "It was _fantastic_. I couldn't walk straight; that counts, right? Ah! Mikuo!" she sounded as I started kissing her neck.

My eyelids fluttered a bit as I hovered over her skin. "I love that," I murmured into her neck. "When you say my name." I could feel her pulse through my lips. (That's totally not weird.) "It makes my heard flutter." I returned to kissing her, rubbing circles into her collarbone. She laced her fingers into my hair, suddenly starting to fight me for dominance. I had to stop myself from laughing. "Feeling touchy after I called you so submissive?" I jeered.

"I love that," Rin said breathlessly. "When you're a sadistic ass." She traced a hand down my abdomen, stopping just above my crotch. "It makes my heart flutter." Yeah. I had a little bit of that going for me right then. I started slipping my tongue into the kiss, groaning when she reacted.

I'm so fracking good at what I do.

My hands wandered down to Rin's hips, pulling her against me harder. A small moan escaped her lips as my reach slowly moved to just above—

"Wait," she said, pulling back. I rolled my eyes and groaned, flashbacks from this morning flooding to the front of my brain. "What if the others…" she trailed off and I cocked an eyebrow at her, lowering my eyelids.

"They already left?" I deadpanned.

"Yeeeahh…"

"So, we can do whatever the hell we want."

"Seems so."

You know how authors tend to just end chapters with make out scenes so everything kinda cuts off in the middle of things and you still have the taste of the character's tongue in your mouth? Yeah. I think that's totally overdone—I mean, even _I'm_ guilty of it—so, as you can see, I am choosing NOT to do that. I am instead getting you sidetracked. Ooh. Look at how sidetracked you are. You're so sidetracked, you don't even remember what I was doing before I started talking; that's just how sidetracked you are.

You're so sidetracked, I could write an inappropriate joke about you being sidetracked.

Did it work? Great. Have a nice life.

0o0o0

**SO. I kinda had to tone down some of the making out in there, because I didn't want anyone to get nosebleeds because you can't review when your keyboard is covered in blood, or your fingers'll get all nasty n shiz.**

**IN OTHER NEWS, I started **_**Project: ALEXANDRIA**_** (abbr. Pro. ALEX) recently annnndddd it's a Luka story. LukaxKaito for now but it's going to switch between him and….. Mikuo from what my poll is telling me. X33 Soooo if you want to check that out… s/8304835/1/Project_ALEXANDRIA**

**Ahm… other things… Oh, yes. I'll be going on vacation for a week starting this upcoming Monday so I have no idea when I'll be able to update next. And I have no idea what's going to happen next chapter, either. xD As usual.**

**It's kay. This story has no plot anyway. Just being funny, of course.**

**Thanks for reading! REVIEW~?**


	14. I like my boys like I like my wine

**SO. LONG. TO. UPDATE. OMIGOSH. I'MSOSORRY. (see excuses at bottom of page)**

**I tried to make this chapter extra funny and mildly offensive just for you guys to make up for it. **

**Oh gawd. Don't kill me plz.**

0o0o0

TiNaF

Chapter 13: "I Like my Boys like I Like my Wine: Six Years Old and in my Basement."

0o0o0

So I was staring at Rin, ya know, cuz it's what I do, for the few seconds before she woke up. I know; sounds totally creepy and junk, but it was, in all truth, utterly fascinating. People look so different when they're sleeping, you know? Like, Rin didn't look like _nearly_ as much of a bitch when she was sleeping. It was like she had her switch turned off. A bitchy dimmer switch… And I'm not trying to say that she's a bitch. But she's a bitch. I'm just saying. It's kay. I'm a douchebag. We were kind of made for each other.

"What the hell are you doing?" Rin grumbled next to me.

"Just observing. You have blonde eyelashes. Did you know that? That is _so_ cool. I mean, you read about these badass motherhuggers with the blonde eyelashes all the time, but I've never actually seen it before. You know how cool that is? It's fan-flippin-tastic. I want to, like, dye my eyelashes. That doesn't sound completely gay, does it? I don't care. Dyed eyelashes would be so cool."

Rin stared at me groggily for a few seconds. "Of course I knew I had blonde eyelashes. What kind of idiot doesn't know what color their eyelashes are?"

"You should never wear mascara. That's the shiz for eyelashes, right? Never wear it."

"Are you high?"

"I only got high once and it was not that great."

"You're totally high."

"I was, like, fourteen or something. Second dumbest thing I ever did."

"What's the dumbest thing you did?"

"Picked up some _rabid lizard_ and put it near my face when I was, like, eight. Wanna see the pictures?"

"Hell yes."

0o0o0

I was sitting up on my bed pondering something, probably something important because I was stroking my invisible beard as I pondered it; except le invisible beard was not so invisible.

"Good god, Rin! What the hell are you doing in there that takes so long to do?" I shouted at the bathroom.

"It's been five minutes! What's got you in such of a rush all of a sudden?" She snapped back. Holy dammit we bicker like an old married couple.

"A squirrel has begun to sprout on my face."

The door swung open and she stared at me, holding herself up on the doorknob. "What's wrong with it? I like it this way."

"I don't! I have, like, a _five foot beard_ here!"

"Mikuo, it's barely a five o'clock shadow. Aren't you guys supposed to be lazy about shaving, anyway?" She asked nonchalantly as she stepped back to poke her face in the mirror. I stared at her through narrowed eyes.

"Is that my shirt?" I accused. I mean, the thing was loose on me, but Rin was wearing a dress right there.

"Umm, yeah," she said, dabbing her face with a washcloth. "My shorts were all wet and sandy. Plus your boxers didn't fit."

"You tried on my…" I trailed off and pondered it for long enough to decide it wasn't worth getting myself in any deeper. I stood up and moved next to her so I could poke my face in the mirror, too. "Seriously? This doesn't drive you _insane_? I hate it when my face isn't smooth."

Rin poked my side, but I didn't flinch, much to her dissatisfaction. "You have a serious case of OCD."

"Do not! It is merely exceptionally prevalent attention toward personal hygiene."

"Get over yourself," Rin instructed, flicking the side of my head. "Honestly, I'm concerned that you'd cut your face open, just thinking about your stellar coordination skills. And put some pants on. My eyes are burning."

"My coordination skills _are_ rather stellar. Thank you for noticing. And this is my room. I can walk around naked if I want to."

"In front of a _lady_? It's indecent."

"I thought you liked the way I look." I stabbed, stretching my back and watching Rin's eyes dart away with amusement. "And, just btdubz, I want my shirt back before the end of the day."

"So demanding," Rin whined, rubbing her neck. She then took sudden interest in mentioned spot in the mirror before exploding. "MIKUO HATSUNE WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO MY LAST NIGHT."

"Ooh, did the hickey show up? Fantastic!"

Suddenly, I was being violently forced against the wall and Rin was struggling to keep herself from strangling me.

"Whoa. Serious role reversal going on here," I commented.

She punched me in the gut. "How _the fuqua_ am I going to hide this while I am AT THE BEACH?"

"What? Don't want to show off?" Rin gave me one of those looks that belonged in a scrapbook. "Ahm, jk. Wear a bandaid."

"And what will the excuse for _that_ be?"

"I dunno. Burned yourself with your straightener?"

"Mayb—how did you know I straighten my hair?"

"You're female?"

"WHY DID YOU PHRASE THAT LIKE A QUESTION? YOU OF ALL PEOPLE SHOULD KNOW MY GENDER."

"Sometimes I look down and I wonder…"

Oh, hello, virginity. So nice to see you again.

0o0o0

"You know, there's something I just can't quite grasp right now that's been on my mind, other than the fact that Piko is sleeping on the couch down here when he has a perfectly good condo to sleep in right next door," I was saying from the kitchen. Rin, Luki, Miki, Yuuma, and, of course, Piko were all down there with me. Miki was attempting to help Rin cook while everyone else was hanging on Piko's couch. Dang, that guy was a dude magnet.

Piko shrugged in response. "What can you not grasp, Mikuo?" he asked.

"I mean, come on, guys. We are _right outside_ Miami, and we haven't even driven illegally through the streets yet? There is something wrong with that picture," I said.

"Miami _is_ a fun city to drive through illegally," Luki noted.

"We should do it," Piko concurred.

"After I eeeaaat," Miki groaned. "I am so muthafuggin hungry you guys don't even know."

"I want food," Miku agreed, walking into the room with Neru tagging along behind her. They lumbered over to the breakfast bar where Miku laid her head down and Neru whipped a cell phone out of nowhere. Probably kept it somewhere in that thirty-foot mane of hers she dragged around on the side of her head.

"Mikuo, go find a pot that I can boil water in," Rin directed from behind me.

I stared muttering something about having such a demanding girlfriend (Ew. That word still grosses me out.) as I looked for a pot in some God-forsaken cabinet in a corner somewhere that probably had a swarm of alien bees inside protecting it. "This is breakfast. What the hell are you boiling water for anyway," I complained.

"Shut up and do what I say," she rasped.

"You know what I don't get about boiling water?" Luki started. I was sure he had something to add to that but, oh, this was a _perfect_ opportunity.

"What's there not to get?" I returned. "It's a simple process. Just imagine taking a pot of water and adding energy to it and you keep adding and adding and ADDING and the adding JUST WON'T STOP until—_Ah~!_ You get steam."

Rin's face was as red as the coils inside a toaster and Miki was holding a hand over her mouth, meanwhile Luki looked on with displeasure.

"That's not what I asked, dumbass," he deadpanned.

"Mikuo, why are you growing a small animal on your face?" Miku asked me tiredly.

I slammed the pan I was holding down on the table next to Rin. She cringed. "I _freaking_ told you," I hissed toward her.

"Mikuo _does_ seem to have that sexy young businessman look going on about him," Piko noted.

"The sexy y—wut."

Miki grabbed my chin and inspected me closely. "Hmm… I see…"

I slapped her hands off of me. "Holyshnitdonottouchmyface."

"I was just making observations!" she defended.

"You know, Miku, I was just thinking the same thing," Luki mentioned. "I think this is the longest I've seen Mikuo let his facial hair get. For a while, there, I'd forgotten he had the capability to grow any."

"Okay. I'm shaving now. Goodbye."

"Wait, no! You'll spoil the record!" Luki fretted.

I looked at him like he was crazy before smiling at him, showing him my special finger, and leaving anyway.

0o0o0

"You know what's been bothering me as of late?" Rin asked, suddenly appearing inside my room and making me jump so hard I almost knocked the mirror off the wall.

"Holy Jesus, maybe you could knock next time?" I returned.

"The door was open. Okay, so, I was wondering what your natural hair color was."

"My natural…" I trailed off as my eyes strayed back toward my reflection. I rubbed a lock of hair between my fingers and wondered. When was the last time I had seen my natural hair color? Were my eyebrows the same color as my hair? What color were my eyebrows? How in the world does this hair dye stay in so well? "I dunno." I responded finally.

She blinked. "You don't know."

"Nope. Not a damn clue."

She gave me a poker face before talking again. "Oh yeah, and we made eggs. Lots of eggs. Luki's raving about the baby chicken massacre that we created because of all of the eggs that have been prepared. Also, we need to buy groceries today." I fucking wonder why.

Sooooo I went back downstairs with my face soft as a baby's ass and all that shit and found that the last of us (as in Luka) had made their way down as well.

"Gahd, that took forever," Luki complained at me. "After these psychopaths finish eating their chicken ovary byproducts we were talking about riding into the city, running errands, all of that stuff. I was just wondering if you wanted to take the motorcycle."

Okay, I can't really say this next part without sounding as straight as a right angle, which is not very straight at all, so I'm just going to go all out with this one.

I leapt into Luki's arms from halfway across the room. "_Oh, Luki, I would kiss you if you were gay_."

"That's gross, man."

"No, you just don't understand how happy I am right now."

"Stop touching me, dude."

"I could never fully express to you my gratitude."

"Our crotches are touching and that is totally awkwarding me out."

"I love you."

"Yeah, well, I can freaking tell in regards to my previous comment."

"Don'trejectmeIamyouronlyfriend."

"Get off of me."

I let go and tried to recompose myself.

Piko was giving me a look that appeared to be quite disturbed. "That's not how I come across to people, right?"

"No." "Not at all." Of course not." "I think that was too gay to be gay." "Only Mikuo could pull off a stunt like that." "Oh gawd my eyes."

"Thank Jesus," he sighed.

0o0o0

Le awkward time skip.

"Hey! Rin! Get on!" I called out from Luki's sexy little motorcycle that I liked almost as much as the convertible.

Rin looked warily at the helmet I held out toward her, but she took it nonetheless. "I'm not sure I should trust you," she mumbled, getting on behind me as I revved the engine.

"Rin, I am offended," I huffed sarcastically. "I was sure that you, of all people, knew of my exceptional driving skills.

"Have you ever even driven one of these things before?"

"Uuhmm… Once, I think."

"Only on—_whaa—?!_"

That was the sound that she made when I started driving off. What? I may be a good driver, but I never said I was a safe one.

/CLIFFHANGER ENDING/

0o0o0

**THAT WAS SO SHORT GUYS OMIGOSH I AM SO SORRY. I hope it was at least funny to make up for all of the disappoint that you must has.**

**Okay, excuse time. Other than the average writer's block dilemma we all have to face, school started on the 20th for me, and I had summer homework that I didn't do and summer reading that I had to get done in a moment's notice because I'm a sad, lazy excuse for a writer. Also, I started writing another story, kind of. It's not even a fanfiction. I'm writing five stories right now, man. DON'T JUDGE ME.**

**And, though I feel that those two excuses are rather good all on their own, I've been attempting to prepare for AWA. My supersexyawesome Rock Cannon has been updated as a result and jacket improvements+gloves come next. I have almost half a month left to prepare everything. Notevenclosetodoneomigosh.**

**OKAY. SO. I'm thinking I'm going to end this story in just a few chapters, BUT YOU SHOULD NOT FEAR. I am already thinking of a sequel to this story to be from Rin's point of view for when school starts for them. It'll be called "Class Notes" so keep your eyes peeled whenever I end this thing for that new story. That and I'll probably add an A/N chapter (even though we're technically not supposed to) whenever the first chapter of that is up. **

**ANYWAY. Please review, even though you hate me and stuff for a bad chapter ending and long update. TAKE OUT YOUR ANGER WHILST SIMULTANEOUSLY UPPING MY POPULARITY. /SHOTINALLCAPS**

**I lover you guys so hard….**


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